Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #117

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104 — There are currently 6,915 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Qi-Qang: You are now Wang Cho protected. Jon: Alright. Yeah. So, uh...do I get some ninja dudes to follow me around, or what? Qi-Qang: The less you know, the better. Jon: Let's do that. That's smarter. Call of the day right there. Alright, I'm gonna take off. I'm out-skees. So, uh, sayonara. And, uh, I'll see you tomara. I love it, guys. Wang Cho protected. [Jon leaves] Meng Yao: What the hell are we doing? This guy's an embarrassment! Qi-Qang: WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR FATHER'S BURRITO? – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Wang Cho Elder: I have a burrito in the fridge. One of you took a bite. Qi-Qang: [to Jon] He say, you need not worry now. Wang Cho Elder: My name was clearly written on it! – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Qi-Quang: Welcome, Jon. Can I get you a tea? Jon: Tea? Does it come with a straw for my vagina? – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
[Jon sees the lead member of Wang Cho, Qi-Qang in his Susan's loft] Jon: How'd you get in here? Qi-Qang: Patriarch of Mirminsky family die in prison. Poor old man have slipsy-whoopsie in the shower. Jon: I wanted Sergei dead, not the father! Qi-Qang: To kill dragon, you server the head, not the arm. You paid for blood, and now the debt we sharesy-waresy. If I were you, I would consider paying another million for protection in the wake of these events. [Qi-Qang look down on Jon's underwear] Qi-Qang: Is that a vagina? Jon: Yeah. It's my dead ex-wife's beav. Qi-Qang: [sniffs] Smells delicious. – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
The Glaze: I'm here, Jon, to help guide you through all your life's ripples. Jon: Lipples. The Glaze: What? Jon: Life's ripples -- Lipples. The Glaze: Yes. Lipples. [Jon throws the pebble into the burning can as a pond] Jon: LET THE LIPPLES BEGIN! – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
[while Yvgeny having sex with Trish, Sergei came into Yvgeny's apartment with important news] Sergei: Get dressed, Yvgeny. Papa's been killed. Yvgeny: [whines] OH, NO! I AM A MAN NOW, PAPA! [crying] I'M A MAN! – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
[Jon heads to Wang Cho Headquarters to get new protection] Qi-Qang: This is the man who called on the phone...he is offering us one million dollars to kill Sergei Mirminsky. Wang Cho Elder: This man looks like the cat I had when I was a little boy. Qi-Qang: He say most intriguing offer. But Mirminsky son very strong. What is your quarrel? Jon: He killed my ex-wife. Qi-Qang: [to Wang Cho Elder] They killed his wife. Wang Cho Elder: One day my brother fed rice to the cat...and the cat became sick. My mother was very cross. Qi-Qang: He say situation delicate. Our family cannot move without provocation. Our agreement must be secret or deal is off. Jon: Tell him...I agree...and I have much respect for the Wang Cho family and gang. Qi-Qang: [to Wang Cho Elder] He accepts our terms. Wang Cho Elder: I think this is the ghost of the cat. Make him leave! Qi-Qang: He say your wife will be avenged. Jon: How do you say "wall" in chinese? Qi-Qang: "Chong". [as Jon pulled something out of his pockets, the the Wang Cho gang were suspicious and stand up immediately] Jon: No, no, no, no, no. [shows a picture of himself] Chong. Chong. For your chong. Huh? For the chong. – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Jon: Oh, my god. You're right. I-I have to sell this loft. It -- It's too painful for me to stay here. It's been driving ME crazy. ME! The Glaze: Yes! Now, that's the Jon I've been waiting to hear from. Jon: I mean, don't -- Don't get me wrong. I'm -- I'm happy to have my sweet loft, finally, but not at the expense of Susan's death. The Glaze: NO! I've just been talking to the Jon that's in here! [points to Jon's chest] And now I'm talking to the Jon that's up here! [points to Jon's forehead] What happened?! Jon: What? The Glaze: Shh! I'm not talking to you! I'm talking to you. [points at Jon's chest] I'll work with you for a one year minimum. $50,000 a month. I'll be available 24 hours a day. But don't you answer me here. I want you to answer me...here. [points to his Jon's head] – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
The Glaze: Now, we've clearly helped cure David. But there's still one person whose fear is devouring his soul. And if he doesn't help himself quickly -- Confront this thing head-on -- Then it's only a matter of time before he begins his swift descent into complete madness. Jon: Yeah, T.B.'s pretty tightly wound. – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
The Glaze: So, you had a little scare from the bad guys, and it shook you up. Jon: No. What shook me up was T.B. overreacting to nothing. TB: Would you rather be dead? Jon: You do the math. – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Sergei: Yvgeny, where are you? Papa give go-ahead to kill Jon. We're heading out no-- [Yvgeny hangs up the call] Yvgeny: It's one of my men asking for permission to kill some guy. I'll call him back. [laughs] Trish: Power is so sexy. Yvgeny: I have to tell you something. Trish: What? Yvgeny: I have to tell you something. Trish: You don't want to have sex with me? Yvgeny: No. I AM A VIRGIN! Trish: You are? – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
The Glaze: On days of the week that you used to spend with your mother, I want you to think of him as Mom. Jon: Yes, and on weekends, I'll be Dad. The Glaze: Jon and I have discussed the possibility of him getting a little tattoo of a vagina right next to his penis -- Whatever will help you visualize him as mother. David: Yeah, that will not be necessary at all. Jon (as Susan): Well, have a good day at school. [getting ready to hug his son] [David leaves immediately] TB: David's coming down. Jon: Well, I guess he's at that age. Doesn't want to kiss his Mom. [chuckles] – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
The Glaze: [to Jon] Can I see the dress that you creamed yourself with? – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
The Glaze: Jon and David will begin their new lives from here...like a pebble dropped into a pond, rippling outward. Think of the new experiences. The joy! The hurt! [laughing] The laughter! Jon: [laughs] The Glaze: The pain. Jon: [stops laughing] – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Jon: You know, if we put a flat screen on the ceiling, we could just watch tv like this. – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Susan Shapiro: I do know someone. He's a life-enhancement coach, and I think he'd be good to talk to. He came in and helped us when our lead actor in "Attitude Stool" had some actual problems with his attitude. – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Jon: I just wanted to have another meeting because David...has been having a very tough time dealing with Susan's death. And I am wondering and hoping that maybe you know of a good counselor or therapist that you can recommend for him. David: Yeah, I'm actually totally fine. Jon: [sighs] David: I'm not the one who tried to give myself a handjob with a dress. – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Marie: This name, "Knock, Knock. Who's There? Vodka" -- What does that mean to you? Yvgeny: It's from my time as a stand up comedian. Knock Knock joke. You know -- Knock, knock. Who's there? Moscow. Moscow who? Ma's cow died. I guess we'll have to eat our cereal with vodka. – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
[T.B. appears and sees Jon falls in love remembering Susan as one of Susan's clothing] TB: Burritos are here. Good news -- They put an extra one in by accident. Jon: [sighs] Um... [clears throat] Good. What'd they give us? TB: There's an extra bean and cheese burrito. Jon: Oh, yeah, cool. You want that one, or you -- You want to take that one? Why don't you eat it? TB: No. You know me. I'll take whatever's left over. Jon: [sighs] Um...sorry. I'm sorry you saw this. TB: No need to apologize. Everyone has their own way of grieving. Jon: Thank you. TB: You need some help? You could close your eyes and pretend this is Susan's hand. It's not a sexual thing. It's a warrior thing. Jon: Yeah, I understand. I would rather do this, uh, I think, on my own. – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Jon: Homework. Little math. That was one of my top 5 subs. Yeah, you want to carry the 9. David: No, Dad. It's fine as it is. Jon: Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's wrong. David: Dad, you don't have to carry the 9. It's fine. Jon: Alright. Don't blame me when you get a "G". David: What's a "G"? Jon: Uh, "G" is one worse than "F". David: Dad, there's no such thing as a "G". Jon: Well, maybe you need to spend a little more time on math, and a little less time memorizing the grading system, okay? David: Dad, it's fine. Jon: Okay. No problem, Finestein. David: Don't you mean, "Einstein"? Jon: No, I mean Finestein. He was the guy that worked with Einstein, but it didn't work out 'cause he thought everything was FINE! – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Susan Shapiro: I'm Susan Shapiro. I'm the president of the network, and I'm gonna be your point person on "Delocated!". How are you. Jon: Alright, hold on one second. Your name is Susan? Susan Shapiro: Yes, I know. I'm so sorry about your dead ex-wife. Jon: Yeah, I'm not gonna be able to call you that...for obvious reasons. So, we're gonna have to go with something different. I would suggest we go with your last name. If you're okay with that, I can just call you "Sharpiro". We can do a nickname if you prefer -- Maybe "Shaps"? Maybe "Shappy"? We can go "Shap Attack"? Susan Shapiro: I don't really like that. Jon: [singing] Shap Attack on the move. Come on. Chick-a down down down. Shap Attack is on the scene. Shap Attack! – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Jon: [to David] First Mighty Joe Jon, then Susan. I mean, who's next -- You? – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Jon: This behemoth behind me is T.B. Uncle Sam needed a little help in the old pockeybook, and, uh, hey, that was good for me. I ended up with a badass blackwater type dude. TB: The human pyramid at Abu Ghraib was my design. Bryce Grieke: Really? Jon: Yeah. Bryce Grieke: Did they have to be naked? [laughs] TB: [ain't playing around] Bryce Grieke: Oh. I guess...yeah, I guess they did. – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Mighty Joe Jon: Look, Jon, I know you're bummed, but here's to a great season finale. I couldn't have thought a better way to top it. [Sergei arrives at the bar] Sergei: I can. [to Jon] Just relax. Do not call for Rob unless you want him to also die, understand? Sergei: I'm sorry we have reached this moment? But think of like this. I have been eating meal for a very long time. First...was appetizer. Then...was salad. Then...was soup. Then...was chicken. Then coleslaw. Now that meal is over, I'm ready for hot fudge sundae. Do you understand? We have simply reached end of line. [as Sergei was about to shoot Jon, he shoots Mighty Joe Jon instead] Mighty Joe Jon: [strained] Whoa. Awesome twist. [dies] Sergei: [sighs] Mighty Joe Jon. He try to tell me how to run my family. He try to get me to kill my father. He had someone shoot you on motorcycle and blame me. [laughs] Relax. I'm not finished eating your meal. [gets close to Jon's ear] Not time for dessert just yet. [leaves] Jon: [sobs] Yvgeny: Bartender...may I have a vo-- [ends the scene immediately] – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago

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