Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #125

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104 — There are currently 6,274 quotes total — keep up the great work!

[Pony walks in with business clothes] Pony: [laughs] Yep, buttons. Frank Smith: Pony, why are you in Orpah clothes? Dean: Listen, up History Department. Pony here has been awarded an honorary tenured professorship. Frank Smith: What?! Sammy: She's a mere tadpole, leapfrogging regular professors. Dean: No discussion. It's done. She gets half your classes. Deal with it. Baby Cakes: Boy, I want to get teached by Pony, bad. Frank Smith: Did you -- What?! No, you don't! No one is getting teached by Pony badly. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Frank Smith: OP! Mr. Tenture. [chuckles] Professor above the law. I bet you have taken some great naps. Steve Smith: Uh, kind of sucks. Being a rebel without consequences is like being a skinny in a world without fatties. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
[Baby Cakes, Frank and Sammy playing cards] Baby Cakes: Aw, Sammy, you better ante up. Sammy: W-Who are you, again? – China, Il Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Stacy: And that's why we Vietnam'd y'all. Steve Smith: Unh. Who cares? Stacy: [scoffs] I'm giving you an "F" on RateMyTeach.net. Steve Smith: Do it. It doesn't matter. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
[Pony takes Dean with him when the manager was about to cut Dean's liver] Pony: Man, why do you got to that place? You've got the hottest wife in town. Dean: To make my life interesting. Being turned isn't as easy as it looks. Man! You saved my life, Pony. Pony: No, Dean, I saved mine. Here's the deal. You make me a tenured professor, or I tell your wife. Dean: But she'll divorce me! People can't know I'm not perfect. Pony: Should have thought of that before you got hooked on wrinkle diddling. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Dean: Punks! Let me enjoy this. Turkey Gobblers Manager: You racked up 40 grand in granny dances. You got yourself a little problem. Dean: First off, f* off. Spending that kind of money will get my wife asking questions. She can't know about my granny love. [Dean suddenly gets chloroformed by one of the granny strippers without even noticing] Pony: When life gives you leverage, make leverage-aid. – China, Il** Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Dean: Steve, tenure is the highest promotion a professor can receive. You are now unfireable...and almost rich. Pony: [sighs] I wish I could get tenure and be almost rich. Frank Smith: Pony, tenure is only for the top profs, okay? It means you really don't have to work anymore, and god, I hope I'm next. Professor Cakes: There you go [slaps Steve with a rubber glove] Tenure. Sammy: [also slaps Steve with a rubber glove] Tenured! Steve Smith: Thank you. I've worked my whole life for this. I'm finally unfireable. I can do...anything. W-What do I do now? Dean: You'll learn to like your new life. See, I can't be fired from being the most awesome guy around either. I'm everyone's boss, got the best house, and best wife! And I'm content with it. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
[Frank gets another message to Ghost Harold] Frank Smith: "Frank, please pull my plug. Not that plug, the life support. Ha, ha". [chuckles] [Frank pulls the life support plug which mistakenly rips Harold's head off] Frank Smith: I hope you're good enough for Jesus. 'Cause I bet Worker Heaven sucks. [throws Harold's head into a basket ball hoop] DOOSH! No one here to see it! – China, Il Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Pony: Thank you for saving my job and acting gay. That must have been super-hard. Frank Smith: No harder than you having to...pretend to be not gross and stupid. Pony: Good night to you, too, asshole. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Crystal: This what History has to offer. [shows Harold's dead body] Steve Smith: [sighs] I'm gonna miss my nuts. Let's get out of here. [Ghost Harold sends a message to Frank while stuck in his own dead body] Frank Smith: Wait! Harold just texted me! Students: [gasps] Frank Smith: "I know you're not gay now. Sorry to misread you. Btw, Spanish sucks! History's awesome"! Crystal: [begs] Steve, double or nothing on finals grades? Steve Smith: Snip-snip. Dean: Got to do it, Crystal! – China, Il Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
[Steve and Frank died temporarily to find out what happened to Ghost Harold] Steve Smith: Hey, hippie, have you seen Harold the Professor? Old Yeller: Harold, huh? I thought he was on Earth, looking for some gay dude. Frank Smith: Yeah, that's me. Where are all the people? Old Yeller: Well, most people are in hell. Then a ton more are in Worker Heaven. Let us look back a few hours here. [Old Yeller spins the time pond to where it shows Crystal and his friend digging up a grave for Harold's dead body] Steve Smith: Crystal. Where'd she get that laser? [the time pond shows Crystal bribing money to Baby Cakes for the ghost trapping laser] Frank Smith: Baby Cakes?! Steve Smith: Benedict Arnold. [Steve and Frank went back to the real world, after being flatlined] Steve Smith: WHY DID YOU SIDE WITH CRYSTAL?! Baby Cakes: So I could buy all the Adult Scout Cookies and save history. Steve Smith: We already saved it, and then you just ruined it again. [Baby Cakes bribes Steve with money] Steve Smith: Don't help. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Steve Smith: You told him you weren't gay, didn't you? If we get fewer students than Crystal, I'll lose the bet and she will cut my nuts off! Where is he?! Frank Smith: Hey, I didn't tell him anything. He makes me popular, alright? And WAIT! I got engaged for your nut bet? Pony: Hold on. Crystal has nuts? Frank Smith: Oh, yeah. Big'uns. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Harold: Frank, I'm so sorry I sprung that on you in public. I just hmm! Get carried away. Frank: Naw, man. Naw. I'm just, uh, I'm old-school. You see, I've been saving my gay self for marriage, you know? Harold: Yes, Frank, I do know. [Ghost Harold then makes a speech] Harold: Frank? Yoo-hoo! Up here! I know this is sudden, but life is short. [laughs] Will you marry me? Pony: [slurred] Dream Team! Got to say yes! – China, Il Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Pony: [slurred] Frank, why didn't you tell him that you're not gay, dummy? Steve Smith: No, Pony. Frank's gotta play gay till registration day. Frank Smith: You can't fake gay sex, okay. Hips won't lie. Baby Cakes: He's like a fog. It'd be like screwing the wind, right? Frank Smith: No, I've seen him lift stuff. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Frank Smith: Listen, we got to talk, man. I am not -- Students: [cheered and applause] Harold: I stopped being a coward! I'm sorry to run away in the Glen. Oh, death made it so clear! I'm GAY AS A GIRL! LIKE YOU! I LOVE YOU, TOO, FRANK! Steve Smith: [behind the class door window] What the f*? – China, Il** Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Dean: Preregistration numbers show that history will be the top course next semester. Better step up your game, Crystal. Crystal: [to Steve] Let's up the stakes. Winner cuts the nuts off the loser. What? Chicken? Dean: Got a nut bet on registration numbers? Cool! Got to do it, Steve. Steve Smith: Got to, and will. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Frank Smith: I'm in shape, kids respect me, I'm one with nature. My life is so much better with you in it! Harold: Wow. You really feel that way about me? [Ghost Harold kisses Frank then blushingly leaves] Frank Smith: [sputters] OH, [bleep]! – China, Il Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Dr. Falgot: Well, I guess we're expecting more students next semester 'cause I just got okayed to order a crap-load more drugs for the Campus Clinic. Frank Smith: Yeah, you can thank me and Harold for that, Dr. Falgot. Sammy: No one asked if I cared to have a spirit up in...everywhere. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Frank Smith: What's up! I'm like Robin to a dead Batman. Harold: Oh, Cuban Missile Crisis, huh, Steve? Want to get some inside perspective? [Harold speed-dialed JFK on phone] JFK: Do you have any questions for me? Frank Smith: You, with the skin and the problem. Wrinkled Skin Woman: What was Marilyn Monroe like? JFK: She was just as mushy as all your mothers. Students: [gasps] JFK: Or so I'm told. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Steve Smith: So, JFK had the FBI burn Disney's boat...and all the whores with it. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Steve Smith: So, Crystal, looks like we may beat your ass next semester in registration. Crystal: Care to wager, Steven? 100 lashes? Steve Smith: Seems a bit medieval, weirdo, but alright. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Harold: That's right. Frank and I got skills! Watch this! [Ghost Harold throws the basketball at the gymnasium window] Student: IT WENT IN! – China, Il Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Harold: Hey, Frank! It's me, Harold. I came back to talk to you. Oh! Am I scaring you? Frank Smith: No, no, you're just different. You...dress cool. Harold: I know! I'm happy now! I feel so free! Oh! I can fly and interact with the dead! Who should I call? Name it. Name it. I'll name it. Columbus? Watch this. [Ghost Harold speed-dialed Columbus] Harold: [on phone] Columbo. Harold. [laughs] No, I'm on Earth. What? No! Killing Natives? No, that's more of your thing. [laughing] Alright. Bye-bye, big guy. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Pony: Baby Cakes, I didn't even know that you were a ghost detective. That's awesome. What do you do? Baby Cakes: Well, I got cameras, motion detectors, and a ghost-trapping laser. I even got an E.R. station, if you ever want to die for a few minutes and go look for ghosts in the Netherworld. Steve Smith: That's not necessary. Baby Cakes: Okay. Are there any spirits here? Frank Smith: Wait. Are you talking to...Heaven? Baby Cakes: You know, I bet Heaven's a ghost town. Pony: Duh. That's the point, right? Baby Cakes: No. I mean, like, no one's good enough to be there. Just Jesus playing fetch with Old Yeller. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 5 months ago

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