Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #125

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,772 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Gerald Bald Z:
Hello, I'm Gerald Bald -- Bald, and I've made $325 dollars last year with just walking around on a confusing quest. Now you too can be on this quest. [cuts to the next scene where Gerald's line was remaked] Now you too can be on this quest.

Gerald Bald Z:
Have you ever wanted to be friends with a hot dog...

Action Hot Dog:
La la la!

Gerald Bald Z:
...a tree...

Inaproppriate Comedy Tree:
HEY, EVERYBODY!

Gerald Bald Z:
...and a torndado?

Terry/Twisty:
Come here. [said it camly]

[the next suddenly starts to go on an acid trip]

Gerald Bald Z:
I'M TRIPPING MY BRAINS OUT ON ACID! Now how much would you pay? Phone lines open right after the buff break... [goes off character] That doesn't sound like Gerald at all.

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Coiffio:
Allow me to explain where we're going.

Cat Man:
Agh.

Coiffio:
[singing] We are going to a space celebration of the thwarting of Gerald's Journey to Tuna Mountain. Where it is with me who he is going...there because...to...uh...

Cat Man:
Uh...

Coiffio:
He is a secret chef at a rival food restaurant...probably.

Cat Man:
Coiffio, what the [EFF] are you talking about? Where did you go to school?

Coiffio:
I can out you in the water.

Cat Man:
No.

Coiffio:
I'm gonna jiggle the boat. I'm gonna flip the boat over.

Cat Man:
[to the viewers] Let's go to a commercial. Let's go to a commercial. COMMERCIAL!

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Cat Man uses his minigun trying to shoot Wetsy that flooded Cat Man's place]

Coiffio:
Cat Man! What up, bro?

Cat Man:
I'm sitting here hating water.

Coiffio:
[pauses] ...Why? GET IN THE BOAT!

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Rod the Anime God:
I just paid you all my cash for this house.

Coiffio:
[jumping on the bed] I just accepted your cash for this house.

[Wetsy storms inside the room]

Rod the Anime God:
Dude, now it's completely flooded.

Coiffio:
And I'm sure you don't have any flood insurance.

Rod the Anime God:
[groans]

Coiffio:
Do you, Katrina?

Rod the Anime God:
No, I don't.

Coiffio:
[laughs]

Rod the Anime God:
Well, all I can do now is move in with... [transports to Gerald's house] you guys. That's right.

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Uncle Grandfather:
Now, Brenda, I have decided that Gerald's journey is a sign that we need to be doing it. [repeating] Doing it.

Uncle Grandfather:
And the reason I know this is that...all things... [dramatic sound effect] were revealed to me [dramatic sound effect] ...through hardcore [EFF] on the pornography-nomen sites.

Uncle Grandfather:
[clicks on a porno site] Ah, di-bah...oh. Did I mention God told me to blow everything up?

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Uncle Grandfather:
[to Brenda] Why don't you get comfortably...nude...while I slip into a giant man-father-sized condom? [chuckles]

[the machine suddenly put the big condom inside of UG]

Uncle Grandfather:
Condom hang. Condom-om-o-men. Condom-om-o-men-ni.

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Wetsy:
Why, hello, everyone. I'm Wetsy.

Gerald Bald Z:
Nice to meet you, Wetsy.

Gerald Bald Z:
I wonder what will happen next... [looks at the viewers] on the internet.

Inappropriate Comedy Tree:
I'M VERY CONCERNED!

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Twisty shoots ICT]

Inappropriate Comedy Tree:
AAH! WHO SHOT ME!

Terry/Twisty:
That giant helmet saved you.

Inappropriate Comedy Tree:
I FELL OVER DEAD! WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

Terry/Twisty:
[evil voice] He's lost his mind.

Inappropriate Comedy Tree:
WHAT?

Terry/Twisty:
LET'S KNIFE HIM.

Inappropriate Comedy Tree:
DUDE!

[Twisty stabs ICT again]

Inappropriate Comedy Tree:
AAH!

Terry/Twisty:
[evil laugh]

Inappropriate Comedy Tree:
YOU STABBED ME!

Gerald Bald Z:
Stop. You people are talking over my journey.

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Gerald Bald Z:
Man, the last thing I remember, I was on a motorcycle flying through the air.

Inappropriate Comedy Tree:
BUT YOU LOST MEMORY FROM THE CRASH, AND THE LAST THING YOU REMEMBER IS YOU WERE A CHEF!

Inappropriate Comedy Tree:
...RIGHT?

Gerald Bald Z:
No. I think I was on a quest for Tuna Mountain.

Inappropriate Comedy Tree:
NO! YOUR NAME IS CAMILLE. YOU'RE A 5-STAR CHEF!

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Voice:
Gerald?

Gerald Bald Z:
Huh?

Voice:
Gerald?

Gerald Bald Z:
What?

Voice:
Are you okay?

Gerald Bald Z:
No.

Inappropriate Comedy Tree:
IS THAT YOU, GOD?

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Secret Military Policemen #1:
This Cat-Bun War is out of control. I say we get out of bed and make some further arrests.

Secret Military Policemen #3:
I'm nude under these covers, and of I stand up, I'll be blurred out. This is the internet, right?

Secret Military Policemen #2:
Yeah, so let's nude it up.

Secret Military Policemen #1:
Yes. Arrest nude cops. We like to arrest new cops.

Secret Military Policemen #2:
Arrest nude cops. We like to arrest new cops.

Secret Military Policemen #3:
Yep. Arrest new cops.

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Chief:
You really f***ed up, Assy. The Mayor's in hot water over this air marshal disaster. They're cutting funding for the whole program, and that puts our national security risk!

Assy McGee:
What a shame.

Chief:
I could have your badge for that [bleep] you pulled up there.

Assy McGee:
Must have been the thin air, Chief.

Chief:
I got to hand it to you, though. How the hell did you know that woman was one of the biggest drug mules in the country?

Assy McGee:
Simple, Chief. I noticed when I arrived a woman entering the security check. She broke a heel, causing a distraction. Then at the bar, the same woman handed a bag by the TSA guy.

Assy McGee:
Later on the plane, I noticed a wrist tattoo -- White flower, official symbol of the castillian syndicate -- Run heroin from Afghanistan through Turkey to Spain then to the U.S. also, she was wearing heels again. How many women break heels and then carry an extra pair?

Assy McGee:
Later, when I'm bumping her rhythmically from behind, I ask where she's from?

Chief:
What she say?

Assy McGee:
She replied "Middletown, New Jersey."

Chief:
So?

Assy McGee:
So, there is no Middletown, New Jersey.

Chief:
Yes, there is. I'm from Metuchen. Middletown's right near there.

Assy McGee:
You sure?

Chief:
We used to play Middletown in hockey. YES, I'M F***ING SURE!

Assy McGee:
Anyway, she was smuggling drugs in her rectum. Made her sick.

Chief:
But why'd you kill the Stewardess, McGee?

Assy McGee:
She wouldn't have sex in the lavatory. Now, if you'll excuse me, I got a date with some pilots.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Assy McGee:
Sanchez, I will personally put you in for a commendation for your bravery up there.

Sanchez:
Yeah, whatever, Assy.

Assy McGee:
You saved a lot of lives up there, Sanchez.

Sanchez:
You shot a man, then you brought down the whole plane! I mean we're supposed to be protecting people up here. Not cool. I mean that's not cool at all.

Assy McGee:
Take this hero away and patch him up. I got to tie up some loose ends.

[Assy shoots the Flight Attendant Woman]

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Sanchez:
[on phone] Hey, Brenda, guess where I'm calling from. The airplane!

Chief:
Senorita, your pool is clean. [chuckles] Is that Sanchez on the phone?

Sanchez:
Hey, who is that? Is the Chief? That is the Chief! Put him on.

Chief:
Oh f*** me. Hey, Sanchez, how's it, uh -- Listen, I can explain. I just, uh --

Sanchez:
You don't have to explain. I'm calling from the air phone. I called you.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Assy McGee:
[drunk] Air waitress, come here. [chuckles] Come closer. Assy's not gonna bite. Guess what. I'm not the world's greatest grandpa. I'm an Air Marshal.

Flight Attendant Woman:
Okay.

Assy McGee:
[drunk] So, you ever made love in the lavatory with an air marshal before?

Flight Attendant Woman:
Sir, I think you've had a little too much to drink.

Assy McGee:
[drunk] All I'm asking is if you've made love in the lavatory with an air marshal.

Flight Attendant Woman:
Yes, I have.

Assy McGee:
Have you ever made love in the lavatory with world's greatest grandpa?

Flight Attendant Woman:
Sir, please.

Civilian Man:
Why don't you just leave the lady alone?

Assy McGee:
Who's talking to you. Willy Loman? What, are you traveling on business or pleasure?

Civilian Man:
Businessman.

Assy McGee:
Oh, Mr. Businessman. Ah, thinks he's better than everybody else.

Civilian Man:
Hey, that's not necessary.

Assy McGee:
Necessary? Let me introduce you to necessary. [pulls out gun]

Assy McGee:
Necessary is a 9-millimeter beretta. Necessary, I'd like you to meet some douchebag salesman.

[Assy tackles the cilvilian man]

Assy McGee:
Air Marshals don't take kindly to being interrupted when they're trying to have sex with Stewardesses. Comprende? COMPRENDE?!

[the civilian man still choking while Assy still got his foot down on his neck]

Assy McGee:
I'M SORRY! I CAN'T HEAR WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Assy McGee:
I want to meet the cockpit.

Flight Attendant Woman:
You'd like to meet it?

Assy McGee:
Yeah.

Flight Attendant Woman:
You mean the pilot?

Assy McGee:
Huh?

Flight Attendant Woman:
We can't allow that, sir.

Assy McGee:
Why not?

Flight Attendant Woman:
Well, the pilot is flying the plane.

[Assy uses on of his foot to shut the flight attendant woman up]

Assy McGee:
Shh. You don't talk so much. Let's give the Cootes Du Rhoone a whirl.

[baby still crying in the distance]

Assy McGee:
SHUT THE [bleep] KID UP!

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Assy McGee:
Just keep your eyes peeled for terrorists.

Sanchez:
That's what I'm doing.

Assy McGee:
For instance, look at these guys. [sees random non-terrorist civilians]

Sanchez:
Oh, yeah, those guys look suspicious.

Assy McGee:
I got my eyes on you, potential terrorist mastermind.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Assy McGee:
[drunk] You know, life is like seasons. You go 'round and 'round like a carousel -- On a horse and then a turtle. And the music is gorgeous.

Sanchez:
Yeah, we got 20 minutes here, Assy.

Assy McGee:
[drunk] And every time you see your Mom's face, there she is. You go 'round and 'round, but you're not dizzy. You're happy. You're happy. This is good, Sanchez.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

DiLorenzo:
Chief, just got this off the wire. There's a mule on McGee's plane, smuggling balloons.

Chief:
What? Smuggling balloons? The hell are you talking about?

DiLorenzo:
Evidently, an international drug mule is smuggling balloons inside balloons. Genius, really.

Chief:
Is Sanchez on that plane, too?

DiLorenzo:
Yeah he's with him.

Chief:
Where's Sanchez's wife?

DiLorenzo:
[concerned] Chief?

Chief:
Get Sanchez's wife on the phone and put her through to my private line.

DiLorenzo:
That it?

Chief:
Bring the car around for me.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Chief:
[on phone] Yeah, no. Hey, listen. I don't care how old she is. Back door opens up, you pop inside and take your shoes off.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Sanchez:
Why do I have to go coach, Assy?

Assy McGee:
You're Mexican.

Sanchez:
I've never been on a plane before.

Assy McGee:
You're kidding! How do you travel?

Sanchez:
Bus.

Assy McGee:
How poor are you?

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Assy McGee:
Double shot of your worst piss, and a shirley temple for the Jew.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Assy McGee:
Now let's hit the airport lounge.

Sanchez:
I'm not going to the airport lounge.

Assy McGee:
You are weak. That's why you're Mexican.

Sanchez:
Don't give me a hard time. I didn't want to do this in the first place.

Assy McGee:
Buy you a croissant.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Chief:
Mayor's office got word from homeland security. They want more air marshal in the sky.

Assy McGee:
Me and Sachez.

Sanchez:
What? Assy, No.

Assy McGee:
We'll do it.

Chief:
Alright, McGee! Way to step up. Anyone else?

[the police officer have no response]

Chief:
Looks like detectives McGee and Sanchez are the only ones brave enough to admit they have nothing left to live for than to sacrifice themselves for the greatness that is this country's freedom.

Sanchez:
Nothing to live for? That may be true about Assy. I got -- I got a family!

Assy McGee:
I just got a kegerator.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

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