Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #124

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,772 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Uncle Grandfather:
Yes. My cable is out. [laugh evilly]

Secret Military Policemen:
The problem is -- You stuck the cable from that groin to your cake.

Uncle Grandfather:
Just one more minute. I'm authenticating.

Secret Military Policemen:
You're not gonna get a signal.

Uncle Grandfather:
Shut up. [moans]

Uncle Grandfather:
I'm definitely getting a signal.

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[one of the secret military policemen knock on UG's door]

Secret Military Policemen:
We have reports of you breaking into cars.

Uncle Grandfather:
Nope. [UG closes his door]

[one of the secret military policemen knocks on his door again]

Secret Military Policemen:
We have reports of your cable being out.

Uncle Grandfather:
Oh. Then come in.

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Gerald Bald Z:
Look, Hot Dog.

[Action Hot Dog stops after done rainbow peeing]

Action Hot Dog:
La?

Gerald Bald Z:
Tuna Mountain. Our quest is revealed...again.

[Tuna Mountain suddenly explodes]

Uncle Grandfather:
I blew it up. [laughs evilly] The disappointment on his face was...amazing.

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Uncle Grandfather:
Magic is not nearly as lucrative as real estate. But still, I craved petty larceny.

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Uncle Grandfather:
Eight years have passed since my stupid grand-nephew have big ideas for a quest that involved woods or clouds or something stupid.

Uncle Grandfather:
His quest upset the balance of muscles, but I didn't care, because they weren't my muscles. Mm...my third muscle. Muscular Distraction. Pumping -- Pumping up and down...

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Sanchez:
So, check it out, Chief. While Assy was apprehending the suspect, I was moving quickly to hot-wire this truck to hitch it up to this jumpy castle. And then I quickly dragged it over towards this damaged ferris wheel.

Chief:
[tired] That's -- That's fascinating.

Sanchez:
And I was able to position it right underneath the car that was carrying my daughter.

Chief:
I'm not seeing anything.

Sanchez:
What? Oh, hang on. It's buffering.

[after a few seconds of buffering the video plays]

Sanchez:
Then when the car broke loose, Giselle fell. She was able to land on the jumpy castle.

Chief:
I'm glad your boy's okay.

Sanchez:
It was my daughter, actually.

Chief:
Mustache threw me off.

Sanchez:
And she's not okay. She's paralyzed.

Chief:
Oh, well. I'm sure she'll be fine.

Sanchez:
Yeah, she's paralyzed. She's gonna be fine.

Chief:
I'm just glad that sick deputy chief is behind bars. Good work. Detective.

Sanchez:
What can I tell you? Assy and me -- We're pretty good partners, right?

Assy McGee:
Chief, I got you a present.

[Assy gives Chief a fluffy doll of a parody of Spongebob Squarepants]

Chief:
Are you serious? Is this Sponge Paul?

Assy McGee:
[farts]

Chief:
Wow. Outstanding. I love it. In fact, all those characters on that show are wonderful. I can't wait to play with this.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Chief:
[on phone] Yeah, no. Then just pretend it wasn't a guy and remember how the fingers felt.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Bobby Gavin:
HI, HELICOPTERS. WATCH ME NOW, HUH?! YOU WANT TO SEE ME BLEEDING?! I'M BLEEDING, DAMN IT!

Assy McGee:
Don't make me do this! I will drop you!

Bobby Gavin:
YOU GOT MY FACE IN YOUR LENS?! LOOK AT ME NOW! LOOK AT ME NOW! I'M ON THE NEWS, MA! LITTLE BOBBY'S ALL GROWN UP!

Assy McGee:
Let's talk about it! Let's talk it over!

Bobby Gavin:
I'm gonna let this detonator do the talking now. Bye-bye, baby. I'll be on YouTube before dawn. Think of all the hits I'll get.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Assy McGee:
"DiRetardo." I want you to meet a disgruntled company fire chief driven to madness by the stress of the job.

DiLorenzo:
[to the fire chief] What's up?

Assy McGee:
[pulls out his gun] And now it's your turn to go up in smoke.

Bobby Gavin:
Actually, you were right the first time, detective. Now, you see, my first charge that blew off the right side of the of the ferris wheel car, that was to get your attention and the attention of the media.

Bobby Gavin:
Sure, you see it in the news -- "Firefight saves lives." They never show my face. They never show my face. Maybe I wanted a little attention sometimes for all the heroism that I do. I'm Bobby Gavin, firefighter.

Assy McGee:
Put it down, Bobby!

Bobby Gavin:
I'M THE ONE BREATHING THE SMOKE, DETECTIVE! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE?!

Assy McGee:
No.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Assy McGee:
What would a fireman be doing with 20 kilos of high-grade fertilizer.

DiLorenzo:
Uh, maybe he grows tomatoes for the crew. You know, all those guys eat together. [sighs] I wish we did that. So freaking cool.

Assy McGee:
Or maybe, just maybe he's someone who likes things that go "Boom." [holds his flashlight on his face for a dramatic effect]

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

DiLorenzo:
Hey, McGee! Hold up! One of these firemen left their freaking lights on!

Assy McGee:
So what?

DiLorenzo:
So we're supposed to serve and protect.

Assy McGee:
Fine, I'll serve.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Bobby Gavin:
Sorry, sir, I can't--

Assy McGee:
Official police business.

Bobby Gavin:
Can't let you ride the ride.

Assy McGee:
Oh, really?

[Assy shoots the rules board then shoots the fireman's leg]

Assy McGee:
LOOKS LIKE I'M TALLER THAN YOU!

DiLorenzo:
Let me handle this one, McGee. [to the Fireman] You a firefighter?

Bobby Gavin:
A volunteer?

DiLorenzo:
Exeter?

Bobby Gavin:
[groans] Yeah.

DiLorenzo:
Heh. No way. Hey, let me ask you something. Is there a fire pole over at that station house? I bet that'd be so awesome if you get a girl for that pole. That'd be freaking sweet!

Assy McGee:
Come on. "DiRetardo." Let's find this psycho carnival saboteur.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

DiLorenzo:
Oh, man, what a horrible freaking accident this is.

Assy McGee:
This accident is no accident.

DiLorenzo:
Hey, this is most definitely not the fault of the Exeter Fire Department.

Assy McGee:
Pull your head out of your ass, "DiRetardo."

DiLorenzo:
[pulls out gun] HEY, YOU STOP CALLING ME THAT!

Assy McGee:
[pulls out gun] WHAT SHOULD I CALL YOU, THEN?!

Sanchez:
PLEASE, DEAR LORD! PLEASE DON'T LET MY BABY DIE!

Assy McGee:
[to DiLorenzo] I'll kill you later. Don't worry about your daughter, Sanchez. You can always adopt a new one.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Sanchez sees Giselle stuck on a ferris wheel that's caught on fire]

Sanchez:
GISELLE! HOLY [bleep] LET ME OUT OF HERE!

Assy McGee:
Where are you going?

Sanchez:
MY DAUGHTER!

Assy McGee:
WHAT ABOUT THE RIDE?!

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Assy, Sanchez, and DiLorenzo go to the Tilt-A-Whirl]

Sanchez:
Ah, yeah, this is gonna be fun.

DiLorenzo:
Ah, man, wait a second, man. I didn't know these things spun around. You guys know I got vertigo, right?

Assy McGee:
Round and round she goes. Where she stops, nobody knows.

DiLorenzo:
Oh, god, no, seriously, my freaking vertigo is freaking me out -- I'm gonna freaking puke! I swear to god!

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Sanchez:
What are you doing here?

Assy McGee:
Snack Break.

Sanchez:
I thought you were out on your lake house.

DiLorenzo:
Are you freaking kidding me?! This little jerk's got a lake house?

Assy McGee:
Working security. Pussy firemen need some muscle after the Burlington incident.

Sanchez:
Oh, that's nice! You're making a few extra samolians, right?

DiLorenzo:
By the way, it's the Burlington Fire Department who are freaking pussies. They couldn't put out a fire in an igloo. [laughs] In an igloo!

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Assy McGee:
[pulls out gun and badge] I'm a cop. I need more cotton candy.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Sanchez:
Hey, did you read about the, uh, tragedy off in Burlington?

DiLorenzo:
Uh, yeah, I read a newspaper once, uh, something about politics.

Sanchez:
Some kids got themselves killed on one of those rides.

DiLorenzo:
Really?

Sanchez:
Yeah, I think it might be sabotage.

DiLorenzo:
Yeah, well, why parents bring their kids to carnivals in the first place, beyond me.

Sanchez:
I feel like a bad dad for bringing my daughter here, but the doctor says all the bright colors and fun noises are good for her. She's in one of those early-development programs. Hi, Giselle!

DiLorenzo:
Yeah, whatever. I mean, there ain't gonna be none of that crap happening here. These Exeter guys run a freaking first-class operation. We're talking the freaking gold standard here.

Sanchez:
I guess you're right. I used to worry a lot, but since 9/11, I just accept that we can go anytime.

DiLorenzo:
I lost a cousin in 9/11.

Sanchez:
What?! I didn't know that. Ah, man, I'm so sorry.

DiLorenzo:
Yeah, no big. The guy was a bum.

Sanchez:
Oh, what'd he do, tax evasion, wife cheater?

DiLorenzo:
What? No, a bum, like a hobo, you know? He lived in a mailbox on 10th avenue, wore socks on his hands. Killed instantly. Those bastards.

Sanchez:
Nobody remember the lost bums.

DiLorenzo:
To the lost bums. Ah [bleep] I got Slurpee on my new freaking keds.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[after Chief got done taking a poop in a public restroom at a carnival]

Chief:
Best ride of the whole day. [laughs]

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Young Man:
You know, I wish these hot dogs and cats were not symbolic of anything and this was all just a dumb anime mind[EFF].

Sherman the Giraffe:
Shoot, I wish you just had some cold ones, probably, at least 12 of them. We should probably go for the whole 24 maybe.

Young Man:
There's that old man's house. Maybe he knows what's going on.

Sherman the Giraffe:
At least we're floating.

Young Man:
You don't understand. It's a mind[EFF].

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Young Man:
Sherman, you do not understand.

Sherman the Giraffe:
Oh, alright.

Young Man:
All of this danger in low APR financing reminds me of [looks at his limbed body part] What ever happened yo my hand that was holding that Hamburger Necklace?

Sherman the Giraffe:
Cat Snatch fever. It's been going around. And all this talking of yours is making me more starving.

Young Man:
I sure could use that hand.

Sherman the Giraffe:
What you got to eat? Something to eat, something to split?

Young Man:
Good heavens. What's this?

[Young Man and Sherman sees one of the hot dog bun and a cat fighting still battling each other on a alligator]

Sherman the Giraffe:
We'll go half on it.

Young Man:
Oh, my!

Sherman the Giraffe:
Hey, what is he doing? You didn't hear about the truce? Hey, hey. Break it up. Break it up, guys. It's over now.

[Cat kills hot dog bun]

Sherman the Giraffe:
They're gonna jump him now. Here they come. Now everybody wants to jump him now, right? It's not fair, not a fair fight.

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Rod is chilling at Gerald's house]

Rod the Anime God:
You guys got any food in here or anything? You got any crackers, any meat, any kind of cheeses or any kind of thing I can munch on? How about -- How about a whole turkey? [farts]

Rod the Anime God:
You better call a priest for that one, man. Oh, man. That is never coming out of the carpet.

Rod the Anime God:
Whoa, whoa, Wait a second, man. That's "Cat Wars." Leave that on. See that one there? That's Cat Vader, man. And that's Calico Kenobi. That's Luke Cali-mock-aman. And the...there's the -- P -- Paws -- Paws Gallagher. [farts] [laughs] I'm pretty neat, aren't I?

Rod the Anime God:
Got any liquor?

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Gerald Bald Z:
And I'm so glad we finally reached Tuna Mountain and did all that stuff to the thing.

Action Hot Dog:
La.

Gerald Bald Z:
To the guy.

Action Hot Dog:
La.

Gerald Bald Z:
And played that trick on him. It was worth it.

Action Hot Dog:
La la la!

Gerald Bald Z:
Now we can finally move on to Pancake or Hamburger Mountain.

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Rod the Anime God:
[on phone] Hello? Hello? Come on, man. Hello? Yes. Yes, I'm very interested in tripping my [EFF]ing brains out on acid.

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

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In which movie does this quote appear: "To deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human"?
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B Gladiator
C Batman Begins
D The Matrix