Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #121

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,767 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Dog Owner:
My whole-a family been living off of the donkey kong chops for weeks.

Xavier:
It's not your store. You need a 'tude colonic to envisualize your success. Lucky for you, I'm an eight-degree imaginationist. Picture with me this store crowded with customers, swarmed with patrons.

Dog Owner:
It's-a working. My eyes -- She sees-a success. I'm-a filled with-a hope.

Xavier:
Act natural. See those guys over my left shoulder? Don't you think it's a little odd that they're wearing trench coats?

Dog Owner:
That's-a no big deal.

Xavier:
It's 95 degrees outside. I think something's about to go down. Stay calm. Follow my lead.

[suddenly the imaginary robbers pulled out guns]

Imaginary Robber:
You, empty out the register, or the old man get dead.

[Xavier gives the money to the imaginary robber]

Xavier:
He doesn't need this money. He's got-a the power of positive thoughts.

Dog Owner:
That was the last of my cashamzoo. I can't even imagine how my family will suffer and starve.

Xavier:
I can help you visualize that, too.

Xavier: Renegade Angel  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Xavier:
What is this place?

Dog Owner:
Every morning, with my hands, I splice-a genetically unique domestic animals. But nobody she want-a the freaky pet.

Xavier:
This all looks like good product. Nice place.

Dog Owner:
I got-a the cheeky chipmunky -- 90% of cheek. I got-a the pocket hippo. All the cute of the hippo with all the got-a the pocket. I got-a the deer cat. I got-a the giruppy. I got-a the funny bunny. I got-a the pandelephant-baby. And I got-a the unfunny bunny. [shows the rabbit's design that looks disgustingly infected] That's a goodiful pet to meet.

Xavier:
Or a little of each.

Dog Owner:
I even got-a the bag-a the purr. We gonna have-a to put them to the death. Ay, chihuahua! [literally has an chihuahua made with a ton of eyes] Poor Eye-chihuahua.

Xavier: Renegade Angel  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Dog Owner:
I'm-a gonna go broke. I'm-a just a simple shop owner. I'm-a gonna go out of the business.

Xavier:
I'm going to help you, even if it kills us both.

Xavier: Renegade Angel  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Dog Owner:
[sobbing] That's the way I cry. [sobbing] That's the way I cry.

Xavier:
I was trained for 22 years to fight with my feet. But it takes a real man to console with his feet.

[Xavier kicks the tears off of the dog owner by using his feet then wiping the tears off using the dog owner's face]

Dog Owner:
That's-a so nice. Such-a compassionate piggies.

Xavier: Renegade Angel  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Xavier:
Yin. Yang. This world is stitched from a ballet of opposing forces.

Xavier:
What's the opposite of day?

Voice:
NIGHT!

Xavier:
What's the opposite of black?

Voice:
WHITE!

Xavier:
What's the opposite of salt?

Voice:
PEPPER!

Xavier:
No. They're just two spices trying to get by.

Voice:
SHALAM! You got me. You're so smart. So...

[Xavier Renegade Angel logo appears]

Xavier: Renegade Angel  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Mr. Higgins:
You don't know who you're dealing with. We happen to be on the same team.

Assy McGee:
Are we, Higgins? Where I come from, people pay for their bikes.

Mr. Higgins:
[sighs] Today it's bikes. Tomorrow it's oil.

Assy McGee:
Oil? Wait, is this a C.I.A.-within-the-C.I.A. thing?

Mr. Higgins:
Yes.

Assy McGee:
You've been trading bikes for chemical weapons in order to destabilize regimes for oil?

Mr. Higgins:
Shh, shh, shh!

Assy McGee:
Wow!

Mr. Higgins:
Yeah. Yeah.

Assy McGee:
That's huge.

Mr. Higgins:
[laughing] I know. I know it's huge. I-I-I thought you know -- That's why you were asking qu-- Yeah, okay.

Assy McGee:
No. No. Wow. Because you keep everything lubricated -- That's why you need the oil.

Mr. Higgins:
No. No. No. No. No. No.

Assy McGee:
You need the oil.

Mr. Higgins:
Not the oil for the bikes.

Assy McGee:
But the bikes need oil.

Mr. Higgins:
The oil for the energy source.

Assy McGee:
Wow. Can I get my bike back?

Mr. Higgins:
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We can get your bike back, no problem. Can you promise not to say anything about the C.I.A. within the C.I.A.?

Assy McGee:
Oh, no, yeah, sure, no, yeah.

Mr. Higgins:
Okay, great. I would appreciate that.

Assy McGee:
Right.

Assy & Mr. Higgins:
[both laugh]

Mr. Higgins:
Mums the word?

Assy McGee:
Right.

Assy & Mr. Higgins:
[both laugh]

Mr. Higgins:
Yeah.

Assy McGee:
[farts]

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Assy McGee:
Mr. Higgins, I presume.

[Mr. Higgins rolls down the car window]

Assy McGee:
Mr. Higgins, I presume.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Assy McGee:
We brought the product.

[the back of the truck lifts the wall up seeing Rodolpho tied in a chair]

Yusef:
I don't understand.

[Assy kicks Yusef inside the back of the truck setting him up]

Sanchez:
Assy, what are you doing? I agreed you could bind and gag Rodolpho, but this is too much.

Assy McGee:
Relax, Sanchez.

Yusef:
What is the meaning of this?

Assy McGee:
Where are the bikes?

Yusef:
What? I do not know what you're talking about.

Assy McGee:
If you don't start talking, [pulls up his gun] the fat kid gets two up top.

Sanchez:
WHAT?

Assy McGee:
You don't want to see a man shoot a boy in the head, do you?

Yusef:
You're crazy. I don't know anything. Who is this boy? WHY DO I CARE ABOUT THIS BOY?!

[Assy shoots Rodolpho's knee]

Sanchez:
ASSY, YOU JUST SHOT MY SON!

Assy McGee:
Whoops. I missed his head.

Sanchez:
[pulls up his gun to Assy] Stand down, Assy. Holster your weapon now!

Assy McGee:
Talk, bike thief.

Sanchez:
Put the gun down, Assy.

Yusef:
Can someone explain what is going on here.

Sanchez:
Assy, I'm totally serious. You've gone too far this time. Put that gun down!

Assy McGee:
Sanchez, don't make me choose between upholding the law, our friendship, and the life of your son.

Yusef:
HIGGINS -- A MAN NAMED HIGGINS. HE IS MY CONTACT. THAT IS ALL I KNOW! NOW, PUT THE GUN DOWN AND LET ME OUT OF THIS TRUCK!

[Assy kicks Yusef out of the truck]

Assy McGee:
Do us all a favor and go blow yourself up.

Sanchez:
What the hell was that, Assy?

Assy McGee:
Just part of the plan, Sanchez.

Sanchez:
What [bleep] plan?

Assy McGee:
The one I made up as I went along. In all the commotion, I planted a bug on our friends, and I'll bet dicks to donuts, he'll lead us back to my bike.

Sanchez:
You shot my son.

Assy McGee:
Collateral damage. Kid never walks anyway. Look at him he's obese.

Sanchez:
[to his son] You alright?

Assy McGee:
Come here, Rodolpho. Uncle Assy will kiss your boo-boo. [farts]

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Assy McGee:
Sanchez, we need your son.

Sanchez:
What? Why? Assy, no, I don't want my son getting mixed up in --

Assy McGee:
He'll be fine, Sanchez. I've always considered Rodolpho like a son to me.

Sanchez:
Really?

Assy McGee:
I always suspected he might be mine.

Sanchez:
Assy.

Assy McGee:
Did you seriously think you were the only one who banged your wife on your honeymoon?

Sanchez:
[laughs offendedly] Very funny.

Assy McGee:
Remember? You brought the party back up to the suite you rented.

Sanchez:
Yeah.

Assy McGee:
You probably already went to bed.

Sanchez:
I passed out.

Assy McGee:
Things got wild. As I remember, we ran a train on her.

Sanchez:
Right. Right. So, if you had sex with her? What does she have on her thigh?

Assy McGee:
Uh, which one?

Sanchez:
Her left thigh.

Assy McGee:
A birthmark.

Sanchez:
Right. What does she have on her right thigh?

Assy McGee:
A tattoo -- A dolphin jumping over the moon, stretched out.

Sanchez:
DAMN IT, ASSY! You did do her, didn't you?

Assy McGee:
That's basically what I'm saying when I said I did her.

Sanchez:
You were my best man!

Assy McGee:
Well, I guess I was Brandy's best man, too.

Sanchez:
Her name is Brenda.

Assy McGee:
Brenda, Brandy -- Every day I take a leak, I'm sorry.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Assy and Sanchez contact Yusef's phone number who's in control of stealing the bikes]

Yusef:
Hello?

Assy McGee:
Is this Yusef?

Yusef:
Yes, it is.

Assy McGee:
We have something you might be interested in.

Yusef:
With whom am I speaking?

Assy McGee:
I'm a friend of Messenger Mike's.

Yusef:
Oh, you have some bikes for me.

Assy McGee:
[laughs] Yeah. When can we meet?

Yusef:
Midnight at Pier 21.

Assy McGee:
How will I know who you are?

[Yusef hangs up immeadiately]

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Assy McGee:
How's the bike-fencing business?

Mike:
I happen to be a legitimate businessman, McGee. Now, if you just left me alone, I've got some axles to grease.

Assy McGee:
Sure. One last thing. These ring any bells?

[Assy shows Mike a flyer to see who stoles Assy's bike]

Mike:
Nope, now get the hell out of here.

Assy McGee:
Maybe this will jog your memory. [pulls up his gun on Mike]

Mike:
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing, man? Now, put the gun down, alright?

Assy McGee:
Just give me the answer or I'm going to shoot your appointment book.

[shoots Mike's appointment book]

Assy McGee:
I just shot your appointment book.

Mike:
Whoa. What are you doing, Assy?

Assy McGee:
I'm going to shoot your bike pump.

[shoots Mike's bike pump]

Assy McGee:
I just shot your bike pump.

Mike:
No!

Sanchez:
You should shoot that over there.

Assy McGee:
I'm gonna shoot your water-bottle display, Mike.

Mike:
I haven't seen it, man.

[shoots Mike's water-bottle display]

Assy McGee:
I just shot your water-bottle display, Mike.

Sanchez:
[laughs] This is fun.

Assy McGee:
There's a lot of things I can shoot in here. What's the most valuable thing in here, would you say, Mike?

Sanchez:
Shoot that over there. [points to an antique's bike]

Assy McGee:
My, my, my. What do we have here? A 1971 Eddy Merckx.

Mike:
I-It's actually a '72.

Assy McGee:
Oh, is it?

Mike:
Yeah.

Assy McGee:
[points the gun at the 1972 Eddy Merckx bike] Where are the bikes, Mike?

Mike:
Don't hurt my bike, Assy, please.

Assy McGee:
Where are the bikes, Mike?

Mike:
Please, man.

Assy McGee:
WHERE ARE THE [bleep] BIKES?!

Mike:
he broke the on-hour speed record with the bike, Assy!

Sanchez:
Just tell us where the bikes are, and no bikes is gonna get hurt.

Mike:
You don't know what you're doing.

Sanchez:
WE WANT OUR [bleep] BIKES BACK NOW!

Mike:
You don't even know who Eddy Merckx is.

Sanchez:
[to Assy] Waste it.

Assy McGee:
I'm just about to shoot this bike.

Mike:
No, please, don't shoot the bike. Put the gun down.

Assy McGee:
There's nothing you can say.

Mike:
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! PLEASE!

Assy McGee it doesn't matter. I'm going to shoot the bike. Wrong answer.

[shoots the 1972 Eddy Merckx bike]

Mike:
No!

Assy McGee:
I just shot your bike.

Mike:
Oh, god, no, no!

Assy McGee:
Now it's a '72 with a hole in it.

Mike:
God! Oh, my baby! Oh, my baby! No! Oh, rasta.

Assy McGee:
Hey, let me know if anything turns up, Mike.

[Assy brutally stapled the flyer into Mike's forehead]

Mike:
AAH! YOU SON OF A BITCH, McGEE!

Assy McGee:
Me and Mom never did get along.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Mike:
My, my, my. If it isn't Assy McGee. Who let your kind back in here, hey?

Assy McGee:
My, my, my. Hi, Mike. Long time no me put you in jail.

Mike:
Ha, and a wheelchair.

Assy McGee:
That part was a bonus.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Assy McGee:
Here to see Mike.

Bike Worker:
Nobody sees Messenger Mike without an appointment.

Assy McGee:
Well, I'd like to make an appointment.

Bike Worker:
Alright. Okay, then. For what time, then?

Assy McGee:
[pulls up his gun] How's .357?

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[The rouge government opens up the stolen bikes they've caught]

Mr. Quan:
Is that a 1972 Spartan-Green Raleigh Sprite?

Mr. Higgins:
I guess it is, yeah.

Mr. Quan:
Wow. Those are really rare.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Mr. Higgins:
The C.I.A. keeps its promises, Mr. Quan.

Mr. Quan:
This has been a rather unusual arrangement, Mr. Higgins, no?

Mr. Higgins:
Sometimes those in power in our government can't see the forest through the trees, Mr. Quan.

Mr. Quan:
Huh?

Mr. Higgins:
Um, we're operating a C.I.A. within the C.I.A. Don't tell anyone.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[as Sanchez post his flyer on the pole to find Rodolpho's stolen bike, Assy blocks his flyer in front of Sanchez on the same pole]

Assy McGee:
Get your own damn pole.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Assy McGee:
My bike was stolen this morning, Chief.

Other Police Officer:
Here we go again.

Assy McGee:
It's a 1973 Raleigh Sprite.

Chief:
I thought you rode around on a scooter.

Sanchez:
Yeah, and someone stole my son's bike, too.

Assy McGee:
More importantly, my bike was stolen. Mint condition, sturmey-archer components, handmade, you pricks -- Not some assembly-line bull [bleep].

Sanchez:
Yeah, and Rodolpho loved his bike, It was, uh, huffy 3-speed.

Assy McGee:
It was spartan-green, Chief.

Chief:
I got six murders, three rapes on the books, and you two douche-wits are TALKING ABOUT A COUPLE OF STOLEN BIKES?!

Assy McGee:
Someone's got to pay for this...WITH THEIR KNEECAPS!

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Chief:
I don't have to tell ya. It's all over the newspapers. The Exeter homicide rate's going through the [bleep] roof, so if you see anyone suspicious, KILL THEM BEFORE THEY KILL SOMEONE ELSE!

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Radio Host:
WBCU.com -- Go to the page. Click on instant feedback. I wonder if dungeon master Jim will be wearing black -- A black armband today because the creator of Dungeons & Dragons has died.

Radio Person:
Gary Gygax died today?

Radio Host #2:
I will tell you who has died. Now, did he really die?

Radio Host:
Gary Gygax. He's moved to the next level.

Radio Person:
Are you serious?

Radio Host:
69, he died, uh, -- He dies this morning at his home in Lake Geneva, probably of some form of diabetes, obesity, uh....

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Fitz kills Shark by yo-yo-ing him to death]

Rectangular Businessman:
Good job. Way to go. But now you're him to them.

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
[Shark's voice] Not if I do this.

[Fitz grabs Shark's brain to eat his memories to regain his original voice back]

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
[Shark's voice] Which I'm already sorry about.

[Fitz eats Shark's brain]

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
I'm back y'all.

Rectangular Businessman:
You don't have the nads.

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
I have all the nads. Here's your dinner. I think you ordered death with a side of bullets.

[Fitz grabs the Green Sweatered Punk Woman back to shoot Square Guy's ass to death]

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
[Shark's voice] [to Shark] You're not gonna win this. We're almost there, and "you" are not even in the "you're" of this. And you probably never were.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Rectangular Businessman:
This is taking forever, and they're right behind us. Or didn't you notice?

Shark:
[Fitz's voice] Damn it. Punch this code into that ATM. I'll feed it to you. One. That's the whole code.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Buzby flip the switch again to regain Fitz's memories]

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
[Shark's voice] I'm back. What are y'all -- Wait, I'm different.

Golden Joe:
You da Sharky Shark! Light his ass up, man!

Roostre:
Mouse! It's us!

Skillet:
[squeals]

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
[Shark's voice] Uh, he's gettin' out.

Roostre:
Who's gettin' out?

Peanut Cop:
Excuse me, let me clarify. [breaths in] When sub-atomized systemic brain impulses are deconstituted and hit repeating negative electron cells that result in endoplasmic reticuloids that can be electronically transferred and artificially manifested into hence said subject. Okay. [chuckling] You guys got that?

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Roostre:
What happened here, man?

Buzby:
Uh, funny thing. So, there's a shark and this sort of, uh, square guy who's a real dick, and I pushed this button. Yeah, everything just went to hell.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

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