Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #127

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,772 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Assy McGee:
That's it. I'm done figure skating.

Chief:
McGee, where the hell are you going?

Assy McGee:
NOBODY HUMILIATES MY MAYOR! NOBODY! NOBODY! NOBODY! AAH!

[Assy randomly shoots civilized people after walking out from the club]

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[while the Mayor is still being hostage from Jasper]

Mayor:
[to Jasper] You know we can make a deal, hmm? I am the Mayor.

Mayor:
Just release me from this headlock.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[DiLorenzo starts to disguise as a pizza delivery man to end the hostage situation]

DiLorenzo:
[anxiety] Ohh, ohh, god, DiLorenzo. Do this. Do this. Do this. Oh, come on, man. You're brave. You're brave. Oh, dear god, please give me the strength to do this.

[DiLorenzo comes inside the pharmacy]

DiLorenzo:
So, uh, yeah, here's your pie, It's, uh, on the house, my man. [sniffs] Uh, mind if I look around a bit? I ain't no cop. [chuckles] It's a good operation you run here, absolutely, absolutely.

[as DiLorenzo still staying in act, Chief notices in the Di's hidden camera that the mayor is also in this pharmacy store as well]

Chief:
Oh, you gotta be [bleep] me. It's the Mayor! The [bleep] is he doing there?

DiLorenzo:
Whoa, whoa! Hey, Mr. Mayor! Hey, look, everybody. It's our freaking mayor. It's our freaking mayor. What are you doing here, Mr. Mayor?

Mayor:
Aw, man!

DiLorenzo:
No, no, no, relax. I'll take care of this. [to Jasper] Hey, pal, you cannot do this to our mayor.

Mayor:
Idiot. I ain't goin' telling everybody I'm the Mayor.

Jasper:
Well, well, well, the Mayor? It's my lucky day.

Mayor:
Great! That's just great! Why don't you just pull the trigger now, shoot me in the head? Shoot the mayor in the head.

DiLorenzo:
Hey, no. I mean, I'm the Mayor. I'm Mayor DiLorenzo. Hey, who wants some Mayor pizza? Huh? It's getting cold. Ha ha ha.

[Jasper points the gun at DiLorenzo]

DiLorenzo:
No, no, no, no.

Woman:
He's got a gun!

DiLorenzo:
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. PLEASE, I GOT TWO FREAKIN' CATS!

Jasper:
Everybody down!

DiLorenzo:
I DON'T WANT TO DIE! [runs away]

Mayor:
The Mayor tell you to get that guy.

Jasper:
No, no, no, no, man! Don't run! I'M GONNA SHOOT YOU!

[Assy, Sanchez, Chief, and the police officer clapped and cheered seeing DiLorenzo getting shot, and most of them made a bet of dollars to seeing if he got shot or not ]

Jasper:
[to Mayor] See? See?

Mayor:
Oh, man, what an idiot.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Chief:
Where the hell have you been, McGee?

Assy McGee:
Clearin' the brush to send eyes inside.

Chief:
Good work. What do you need?

Assy McGee:
Lipstick camera, bifocals, large pie, and a pizza-delivery uniform, a pint of tear gas, and a mule to carry...

Chief:
What?

Assy McGee:
"Mule to carry it all."

Chief:
Alright. Who do you suggest we send in?

Assy McGee:
Someone brave we can afford to lose.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Chief plays Adult Photo Hunt]

Chief:
Wait! Left tit's got two nipples!

Sanchez:
That's a good eye, Chief. I thought those bosoms looked kind of weird.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Jasper leaves from the pharmacy]

Assy McGee:
[using megaphone] Okay, son, what do you want us to call you?

Jasper:
Uh, Jasper's my name. My Mom and Dad named us all "J" names.

Assy McGee:
[using megaphone] That's cute. You and I are gonna see eye-to-eye.

Jasper:
Hey, look, we're all hungry in here, okay? So we want some pizzas now, alright? And if we don't get any pizza, then someone's gonna get it!

Assy McGee:
[using megaphone] You got to trade me one hostage for every topping.

Jasper:
No, man. I guess then just cheese, then. We want some soda, too...some, um, Dr. Brown's Celery Soda.

Assy McGee:
[to Sanchez] He didn't bite.

Sanchez:
You almost had him.

Assy McGee:
I know, this guy's a riddle wrapped inside of a brain teaser, Sanchez.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Sanchez:
Listen up, peoples! We're setting up a command center directly across from the pharmacy at Bob's Barbershop.

Assy McGee:
[using megaphone] Shut up, asshole. We're setting up at Bill W's. Now!

Sanchez:
Assy, that's two blocks away.

Assy McGee:
[using megaphone to Jasper] Clean your cleats, f***head. It's game time, and we got a two-minute warning on the clock!

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Assy McGee:
How much dynamite we got?

Sanchez:
What do you need dynamite for?

Asys McGee:
Blow up the pharmacy.

Sanchez:
There's innocent civilians inside!

Assy McGee:
This place is a coward convention.

Sanchez:
There's protocols we got to follow.

Assy McGee:
Alright, I'll hit from the ladies tees with you.

Sanchez:
I'm gonna set up a communications base.

Assy McGee:
That'll give me enough time to break into his brain and kick the tires.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Sanchez:
This thing turned from a simple stick-and-grab to a hostage situation. Chief wants you running point.

Assy McGee:
Five years planning that vacation.

Sanchez:
Well, maybe if you weren't the best hostage negotiator around, you'd be back there enjoying the lake. Must be peaceful, being there all by yourself.

Assy McGee:
Actually, you know who's got property next to mine?

Sanchez:
Who?

Assy McGee:
Kid Rock.

Sanchez:
The music guy?

Assy McGee:
Yeah.

Sanchez:
I bet he plays his music loud.

Assy McGee:
I thought he was gay, but I watched him and his girlfriend do it. [wheezes]

Sanchez:
You should've worn a parka.

Assy McGee:
And next time you shower, try standing near the water. [laughs]

Sanchez:
You know, sometimes, you're really rude.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Sanchez:
[on phone] Assy, where are you?

Assy McGee:
My lake house.

Sanchez:
What lake, Assy?

Assy McGee:
Make sure the heat's on in the car, full blast...

Sanchez:
Okay, okay.

Assy McGee:
...the setting that blows on your feet.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Assy gets a call from the police interrupting his fishing day]

Assy McGee:
Five years planning this vacation, and now this?! [shoots the fishes at the bottom of the ocean]

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Jasper:
Uh, everyone down. This is a robbery. Sorry, this'll just take a minute. Next person who open their mouth get shot. I'm just here to get my prescription filled, and then I'm leaving, and if -- If nothing happens, nobody gets hurt okay?

Cashier:
Okay?

Jasper:
Now fill this prescription, please.

Cashier:
I'm not the pharmacist. I'm just a cashier.

Customer:
Oh, for god sakes, just go back there and get it.

Jasper:
Buzz me in, man!

Cashier:
It's locked.

Jasper:
BUZZ ME IN!

Cashier:
IT'S LOCKED!

Jasper:
I'm sorry for yelling.

Customer:
[groans] I am not in the mood for this at all.

Jasper:
No, no, no, no. No one's going anywhere, no. [sees the police car outside] Aw, come on. Are you kidding?! Who tripped the silent alarm? Who did that? Who did that? [grabs the cashier while pointing the gun at her] Who? You, fat pig? YOU?! YOU?!

Customer:
I'm going to leave now.

Jasper:
STOP! I'M SERIOUS, MAN! STOP!

[Jasper shoots the customer]

Customer:
Oh, god!

Jasper:
Why -- Why'd you run, man? Why did you run? You made me do that! [crying] Oh, man, I just want to go home.

[Jasper mistakenly shoots the cashier]

Jasper:
Oh, my god. I'm so sorry.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Gary's phone rings]

Modok:
SUN GOD!

Gary Bunda:
It's just a phone, Modok!

Modok:
SUN GOD!

Gary Bunda:
It's just a phone.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Gary Bunda:
[deep voice] Hey.

Anna:
Who are you? Where's Jax?

Gary Bunda:
[deep voice] My name's Max Steelcastle. I'm the new boy in school.

Gary Bunda:
[deep voice] This is my friend, Modok...Furcastle. [normal voice] And he's gonna put that log down right now. Right, Modok? Put that log down, Modok.

[Modok puts the log down]

Gary Bunda:
[deep voice] He's also new at school. W-We come from different families. You know, we're not a -- Not a package deal.

Gary Bunda:
[deep voice] I take care of him 'cause he's deaf.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Gerald Bald Z:
Twisty! Confusing My Road To Free Combustion Power Ash Flick Force! Activate!

Terry/Twisty:
What?

Gerald Bald Z:
Perform Chesterfield Slims Iron Lung Fuel Flip Synergy Ignition!

Terry/Twisty:
What?

Gerald Bald Z:
Activate Lucy Flip Phase 9 Power Fuel Consumption Protocol!

Terry/Twisty:
What?

Gerald Bald Z:
DO IT! NOW!

[Twisty flicks his cigar to the gas tanks to Gerald fly high out of the race]

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Sherman the Giraffe:
If that hot dog defeats the alligator and then drags his body over and props him up against that hair...

Young Man:
And if Twisty flicks his cigarette at them gas tanks...

Terry/Twisty:
What?

Sherman the Giraffe:
The young balding boy might just could use that hair as a ramp!

Gerald Bald Z:
This whole race is confusing. Maybe if Twisty would flick his cigarette towards those gas tanks--

Terry/Twisty:
What?

Gerald Bald Z:
The explosion would drive me around the track, and up that hair ramp, to fly toward the mountain that does not exist.

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Coiffio's colorful hair suddenly falls off]

Coiffio:
Oh, no! My fantastic do! Call 911!

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Sherman the Giraffe:
Oh, seeing that, that frank dog thing reminds me I'm kind of hungry.

Young Man:
Shh.

Sherman the Giraffe:
Maybe the Peanut Man will probably come up here.

Young Man:
Excuse me, these guys are racing to the death.

Sherman the Giraffe:
I don't see nobody dying over here.

Young Man:
They're racing to die.

Sherman the Giraffe:
It's nothing happening to these guys.

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Young Man:
I can't believe it! The Aeronautical Flying Cat is using his wing volition crystal croc toss powers to hoist the motor gator rider off his bike!

Sherman the Giraffe:
What? What did you say?

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Sherman the Giraffe:
Looks like a-a baby or stra-- A baby with an alligator mouth? Uh, wha.

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Coiffio:
I will end you! How about them apples, my young, bald nenemi -- E -- Emenis. Emenesis.

Gerald Bald Z:
Alright. [smirks]

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Coiffio:
Oh, did you want to get to Tuna Mountain?

Gerald Bald Z:
Yeah.

Coiffio:
You're going to have to get past me first!

Inappropriate Comedy Tree:
BRING IT ON, MAN! WE'LL KICK YOUR ASS!

Coiffio:
[imitates motorcycle]

Inappropriate Comedy Tree:
STOP IT! STOP DOING THAT!

Coiffio:
Heh heh. Now, I'm gonna do it with the engine.

Inappropriate Comedy Tree:
QUIT IT! WE'LL KICK YOUR ASS!

Gerald Bald Z:
Tree, I have bad news for you.

Inappropriate Comedy Tree:
WHAT?

Gerald Bald Z:
I'm afraid I've got to do this alone.

Inappropriate Comedy Tree:
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ALONE?

Gerald Bald Z:
I'm sorry. It's your enormous helmet.

Inappropriate Comedy Tree:
[sees his enormous helmet] WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

Gerald Bald Z:
The drag on your enormous helmet will be too much. And you just can't draft with a helmet that enormous. And you're also...just a...tree.

Inappropriate Comedy Tree:
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Gerald Bald Z:
Come on now. You're being overly emotional because of the drugs you took earlier.

Inappropriate Comedy Tree:
IT'S SUPER UNFAIR THAT I'M NOT ACCEPTED BY YOU ALL! WAAA-HA-HAAAAAA!

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Coiffio:
Hey, what brand did you give me to prevent Gerald from a victory?

Cat Man:
Oh, I got a little something. Check it out. [brings out an alligator from the crate]

Coiffio:
Heh. Alligator.

Cat Man:
You know, throw it on the track.

[Alligator attack Cat Man]

Cat Man:
GET OFF ME, YOU [EFF]ING GATOR!

Coiffio:
Ha ha ha. Helpful as usual.

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Young Man:
Here we are, folks, at the Ultimate Immortal Death Race 3200.com between Coiffio and Young Gerald. And I'm being told we have astronomical--

Sherman the Giraffe:
Not to interrupt and cut you off, Young Son, but we have Astronomical Cat providing aerial views of the race.

Young Man:
We're just moments away from the start, as the racers make their last-minute preparations.

Sherman the Giraffe:
And the breeze is in the northeasterly direction.

Perfect Hair Forever  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

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