Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #127

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 6,274 quotes total — keep up the great work!

[the crew starts to take Dean to the doctors' office]

Dr. Falgot:
Let's take a look at these cat scans here. [inhales sharply] Well I'll be. Look at this. Look at this. There's a damned brain vage right there!

Baby Cakes:
A brain vagina?

Pony:
Come on.

Dr. Falgot:
Let me explain. Dean, you're an alpha. You got a confident brain here, but this one tiny, moist region of insecurity is psychologically crippling you.

Dean:
Well, cut it off me, Doc.

Dr. Falgot:
No can do, Dean. It's illegal in the states.

Pony:
Well, my brother is still in Mexico, and he's a doctor.

Pony:
[to everyone] You know I'm Mexican, right?

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Dean:
[talking to a racquet] Can you believe those kids took my shoes? What's that? My fault? Okay.

[Dean starts to hit his butt with a racquet]

Steve Smith:
Oh great. Inanimate objects are kicking his ass now.

China, Il  Movie Quote

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[Baby Cakes sees Steve and Pony trapped in pillories]

Baby Cakes:
Oh, no! They got you guys in saint cages!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Frank Smith:
Mayor, don't rage, but isn't accessing everyone's medical records illegal?

Mayor:
Mayor got to know what his people are made of. Come sit on Mayor's lap, little man. Ever since The Mayor started worshiping God, Mayor got rich. Looky here. Keys to Little Man's new car. Stick with Mayor, get rich and powerful. Amen.

Frank Smith:
Uh, sold. [chuckles]

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Aquarium Boss:
Can't believe the Mighty Dean is my employee. [laughs] So cool. Feels so good. [sees Baby Cakes] Here's my other dumb worker. Baby Cakes, tell The Dean here what to do.

Baby Cakes:
What's up, Dean? I thought you worked on a cloud or something.

Dean:
[sad] The Mayor took my top spot on the cool pyramid. I'm bitch to the world.

Baby Cakes:
Aw, man. Get that out of your head. Now just go on in there and feed those 'mingos.

[as The Dean starts to feed the flamingos, the flamingos fighted and humped Dean]

Dean:
Ouch! My nipple! Oh, god! [crying]

Aquarium Boss:
[to the civilians] It's okay. It's a dominance thing. Dean, you're fired!

Baby Cakes:
[to Dean] Oh, dude, you got gang-perched.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Frank shows up to Steve and Pony as a officer working for the Mayor]

Frank Smith:
Well, well, well. Looks like I'm finally the older brother.

Steve Smith:
You really have no sense of allegiance.

Frank Smith:
[chuckles] I'm allegiant to power. I can't help it. Now all I got to do is enforce The Mayor's law and everyone respects me.

Pony:
Frank, you are such an attention whore!

Frank Smith:
The same can be said for Jesus, and look where it got him -- Queen of Heaven. Time for a contraband check.

[Steve spits on Frank's boots]

Frank Smith:
You know there's a law against spitting --

[Steve spits on Frank's face and then tackles him]

Frank Smith:
CAMERAS, HELP ME!

[Steve then gets hold back from the other officers]

Frank Smith:
Now...say I can eat all I want from a buffet! Say I'm cool! Say it!

Steve Smith:
Frank is cool...for now.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Steve Smith:
Didn't you send my application out to other schools? I told you to do it -- A lot.

Pony:
Dude, I forgot. And, by the way, you used to not be such a d*ck. Why don't you go take a nap?

Steve Smith:
[groans] I usually have Frank to bitch at, and you're usually good at your job.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[when Dean loses, Mayor starts to make a few changes with this town]

Steve Smith:
No drinking, no internet, no fruit? And why do professors have to live in the dorms?

Pony:
So The Mayor can enforce the masturbation and premarital sex ban? I'll marry you right now, s--

Steve Smith:
Later.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Mayor:
The Mayor's mad! Fifth time The Dean's trashed the town! Town can't have a heathen Dean running school like a whorenaysium. Mayor wants to know what the Dean will do about the sin damage, amen.

Dean:
You got city workers to clean it.

Mayor:
DEAN DON'T BELONG IN OUR GOD-FEARING TOWN!

Dean:
There is -- No -- God! No God, No God, No God, No God! Just us people trying to party before we die.

Mayor:
Really? Well, then the Mayor challenges The Dean to an arm-wrestling match. Mayor wins, he runs school. Dean wins, he gets the town. Amen?

Dean:
My arms are yelling at me to hurt you!

Mayor:
Oh, Mayor's ready. Mayor gonna win no-handed because Mayor's got God on his side.

Dean:
Ha! Are you kidding?

Mayor:
Mayor don't kid.

Dean:
Well, hell...your funeral!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Dean:
When I was a boy, I was a little man. My bike was a little car, my family was a little faculty, and I ruled them just like I rule all of you. My little teachers.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Dean:
Donny, you're up. You got to lie to yourself here and believe that you are me. I'm inside you. Feel me grow in you until there's nothing left of you. And remember, I will f***ing kill you if you lose.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Pony:
What are we doing at a math competition?

Steve Smith:
If the Dean weren't coaching, I wouldn't even be here. Math is for idiots.

Frank Smith:
Hey, watch this Williams kid work the Y-Axis.

Pony:
Why do you do everything that The Dean asks?

Frank Smith:
Because he's our boss!

Steve Smith:
No, sees, The Dean is, uh, cool.

Baby Cakes:
So cool, he could kill or love anyone. And we got to have a perfect in our pack of regulars, or we'd all be lost.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Ronald Reagan gets caught]

Ronald Reagan:
Okay, mommy, I'll eat all my pudding. Where's Punky Brewster?

Steve Smith:
Oh, he's faking Alzheimer's.

[then Steve and Ronald Reagan fight themselves to the death]

Old Jackie Lather:
What a surprise! A walk-on from the almost certainly dead Ronald Reagan. Hey, God! Where's your consistency? And it looks like our three remaining contestants are strangely all seriously wounded.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Future Steve:
Listen, I'm the future you. I'm cooler.

Steve Smith:
Screw you, hippie.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[after Steve and Ronald Reagan went back in time to change history of what could've happen in the world cultures]

Steve Smith:
No! All our good deed turned Present Day into the apocalypse.

Ronald Reagan:
We should never try to make the past into something we want.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Steve Smith:
You could have used your presidential power for good, but no! So now I'm gonna put every tooth rush you ever had on my nuts.

Ronald Reagan:
F*** you. You don't have nuts. Anyone can a be a critic.

Steve Smith:
Anyone can be a president as long as you suck! So listen up -- People with power are like lions.

[then Steve and Ronald Reagan start to have a long-time conversation on why the difference between lions and zebras representing the peoples' power while everyone is still frozen in time]

[5 years later]

Steve Smith:
All right, sure, I'm...I'm talking about deregulation here, though, the trickle-down bullsh*t. I mean, there's no way that you thought that was good for anybody.

Ronald Reagan:
A president must sacrifice most of the masses for some of the masses. Don't be so naive, son.

[50 years later]

Steve Smith:
Pictures of women do nothing for me now. It's weird. I'm beyond the stroke.

Ronald Reagan:
I used to call thatcher for no reason, just to hear her sexy voice.

Steve Smith:
Mm.

[100 years later]

Ronald Reagan:
All this time to talk with you has enlightened me.

Steve Smith:
No, I'm enlightened. You thinking what I'm thinking?

Steve & Ronald Reagan:
Time Power!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Ronald Reagan suddenly froze time when Steve starts to do his impression of him]

Ronald Reagan:
Oh, boy. Little Steve got himself frozen. Well, when a kid is bad, that kid must get a lesson. Today's lesson is Cause and Effect. I get a time machine, I get to be a time lord. A lion eats a zebra. The lion will eventually uneat that zebra. Cause and Effect, bucko. Cause [ready to take a dump in Steve's mouth] and Effect.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Special Agent Green:
The only potential hiccup is that the time-antidote device has never been used. It may or may not work.

Steve Smith:
What about the mouth crap? Wait!

[Agent Green already shoves Steve to do his act for the mission]

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Pony:
Ladies and gentlemen, Jackie Lather!

Old Jackie Lather:
The world is a dick. F*** you, for aging us and teasing humans with love. Okay, don't care about the first contestant. But here he is, Frankenbreaker.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Frank returns to his old act by doing breakdancing at a Kid Show Parade]

Frank Smith:
Yeah, been upgrading my act, listening to a lot of the fresher sh*t coming out of New Orleans. [chuckles] You spin plates on sticks, right? "Gong show".

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Announcer:
Live with no prior announcement, the return of Jackie Lather's "Kid Talent Parade"! Tune in to see a great Ronald Reagan send up! If I were Reagan, I'd be so mad, I'd just have to do something!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[while the crew are still talking about Reagan's revenge on Steve]

Frank Smith:
[to the agents] Pigs, take a back seat on this one. I'm his brother. I know how to talk to him.

[cuts to the next scene in the Teacher's Lounge]

Frank Smith:
[begs] YOU GOT TO F***ING DO THIS FOR ME!. I'll do my act. I'll win. I'll have a shot at self-esteem. Pleeeeeease!

Baby Cakes:
Steve, the clock is moving, man.

Steve Smith:
My life has been putty in his hands. I won't take his putty in my mouth.

Pony:
Steve, he could be crapping in all our mouths right now and we wouldn't know it. This is lions and zebras. We need Rebel Zebra. We need the zeeb.

Steve Smith:
You're damn right, Pony. I'll be the zeeb.

Frank Smith:
Sure, we'll all be stuff.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Pony:
So, what's the plan?

Special Agent Green:
Please, point your lips at Agent Lee.

Pony:
[points to her mouth] How are you going to catch Reagan?

[Agent Lee got nothing]

Special Agent Green:
[speaks sign language in Agent Lee's words] "Let's hear your best guess, first."

Pony:
Well, I think you'd use Steve as bait, re-create that kids' show right here, now. Steve does his act again. Reagan sees it.

Frank Smith:
And Reagan will make good on his threat. The act was what got him to hate Steve in the first place.

Special Agent Green:
[speaks sign language in Agent Lee's words] "If we make the same insult live on TV, Reagan will be so mad he'll appear for revenge. It's the only way to put him in one predictable place in space time. [to Pony] You guess our plan exactly".

Steve Smith:
[after vomiting] I'm not risking dump in my mouth.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Dean:
So, a senile, dead ex-president screwing with time seems pretty bad.

Special Agent Green:
He could be freezing and changing whatever he wants. That is Jesus' great power.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

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Who said: "If you have always believed that everyone should play by the same rules and be judged by the same standards, that would have gotten you labeled a radical 60 years ago, a liberal 30 years ago and a racist today."?
A Barack Obama
B Ron Paul
C Larry Elder
D Thomas Sowell