Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #27

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,956 quotes total — keep up the great work!

[Lucy comes by to Satan's Dildo Factory for assistance]

Satan:
[to the security guard on camera] No, don't let her in.

Lucy:
Dad, just let me into the workshop. I'll do the rest.

Satan:
Never.

Lucy:
This is a promotional opportunity. Just give me the motor and the shaft.

Satan:
Lucy, go home.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Becky:
Civilization could collapse at any moment. It's time to start phase two. Satan!

Satan:
Sorry. What? I just got an e-mail from Lucy. She's killing me with this stuff.

Satan:
[types to Lucy] "Leave me alone". Send.

Lucy:
[types to his Dad] [laughs] "If you don't like that, you're gonna hate this".

[Lucy posted a drawing of a handle with multiple dildos]

Becky:
I don't get it.

Interpreter:
That's the part you have sex with.

Becky:
I don't think you're right.

Interpreter:
Well, that's the part I'd have sex with.

Satan:
Alright, will you delete it? I don't want to look at it.

Interpreter:
Make it a screen saver.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Becky:
According to our studies, if the people of the world masturbate just 8% more, civilization will collapse.

Becky:
We feel that men can't possibly masturbate more, but women -- Women can.

Satan:
Yeah, especially her. [referring to Becky] [laughs]

Satan:
[to a worker] Translate that.

Interpreter:
[speaking foreign language]

Employees:
[laughing]

Becky:
What?

Satan:
Uh, nothing.

Becky:
I just -- I have a flow going, and it doesn't help. It's hard not having an interpreter, but then to have you throw these things in.

Interpreter:
[speaks foreign language]

Becky:
[to Interpreter] No, you don't have to interpret this part.

Satan:
[to Interpreter] Sir, stop.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Satan:
Hey, buddy.

DJ Jesus:
Hey, Lucy's Dad.

Satan:
No, not you, the snake.

DJ Jesus:
Oh.

Satan:
[laughs] Gotcha!

DJ Jesus:
Oh! [laughs] Oh, you dick.

Satan:
Come here.

[Satan hug DJ Jesus]

Satan:
Where are you going, man?

DJ Jesus:
Where you going?

Satan:
Let's stay here.

DJ Jesus:
Let's do it.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Becky:
Come on, champ. We got a little bit too much to drink.

Satan:
[drunk] No, I didn't.

Becky:
And now it's time to

Satan:
No, I didn't.

Becky:
Can somebody find his sweater?

Satan:
Give me a kiss.

Becky:
Satan, stop. Stop.

Satan:
Kiss the devil. [sexy noises]

Becky:
Stop it.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[when Satan and DJ Jesus keep singing so loudly, the Glass Eye of St. Augustine breaks, failing the mission to capture Lucy]

Lucy:
Sorry to keep you waiting. What can I get you?

Special Sister:
[bleep noises]

Lucy:
So, you need another minute? [to Special Sister] Oh, be careful. It's broken glass.

Special Sister:
Yeah, I know!

Lucy:
I'll go ahead and sweep it up,

Special Sister:
NO, I got it, thank you.

Special Father #1:
Great job, Sister. You and your eye.

Special Sister:
It would have WORKED.

Lucy:
So, you need another minute?

Special Father #1:
No, no, we can order. We'll get the nachos grande.

Lucy:
Great.

Special Father #1:
And, um, two di-aritas.

Lucy:
Terrific.

Special Father #1:
And, um, can we get a side of three refried beans.

Lucy:
No problem.

Special Father #1:
Great. Oh, can I have wa -- uh, ice water, too?

Lucy:
Ice water for both of you?

Special Sister:
I'LL HAVE A CHICKEN CON CARNE!

Special Father #1:
You know what? I'm gonna get some fried jalapenos as well.

Lucy:
Okay.

Special Father #1:
Yeah.

Special Sister:
FINE!

Lucy:
I'll be right back with your nachos.

Special Father #1:
And a strawberry di-arita.

Special Sister:
THIS IS A DISASTER!

Special Father #1:
[to Lucy] You know, as a backup. I mean, if we're gonna start the car, we might as well have a good engine, huh? You know what I mean?

Lucy:
I do.

Special Father #1:
You're cute.

Lucy:
Thank you.

Special Father #1:
I like your outfit.

Special Sister:
FATHER!

Lucy:
You don't think it's too small?

Special Father #1:
No, it's good. They certainly stuffed you in that one, huh?

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Special Father #2:
You know, I would split nachos.

Special Father #1:
I am not supposed to eat cheese.

Special Father #2:
You're supposed to eat cheese?

Special Father #1:
No, it'd like an irritable bowel --

Special Sister:
FATHERS!

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[while The Special Sister is still waiting to capture Lucy by using the Glass Eye of St. Augustine]

Special Sister:
We wait until she comes close.

[the Special Fathers checks the menus of this restaurant]

Special Father #2:
Do you want to split this?

Special Father #1:
What is that?

Special Father #2:
It's a sandwich, a pulled-pork sandwich.

Special Father #1:
Oh, pulled-pork. What is this? I thought it was mexican. Why is it all of a sudden a barbecue restaurant?

Special Father #2:
I don't know.

Special Father #1:
This menu is all over the place.

Special Sister:
WE. ARE. ON. A. MISSION!

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Judas:
DJ Jesus has been bound by six pairs of regulation handcuffs supplied by the San Francisco Police Department and 4 different galvanized-steel chains.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[The Special Fathers and Sister head to Satan's Bar-And-Grill Restaurant]

Special Father #1:
Smells good in here.

Special Father #2:
I am hungry. I-I'm really starving.

Special Sister:
You guys, duh, focus.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Animatronic Talking Burrito:
Holy chimichanga! I'm going out of my manga!

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[after Satan sees Judas is doing Escapeoke for karaoke night]

Satan:
[to Lucy] This is your friend who does karaoke?

Lucy:
Yeah.

Satan:
You know I don't like you hanging around this guy. You know that. I told you that.

Becky:
I thought -- You told me he was dead.

Satan:
He is. He's dead right now. Come on, interns. Lucy, go get us some one of those atacolypses. [to Intern #1] Di-arita?

Intern #1:
Yeah.

Satan:
[to Intern #2] Di-arita?

Intern #2:
Yeah.

Satan:
Three di-aritas.

Lucy:
No, no, no, no, no. You can't kill him. He's the only one who knows how to run the karaoke machine.

Satan:
Right, he runs the karaoke.

Lucy:
Great.

Satan:
Alright, I got to think straight. Uuuuuuum...karoake's good.

Becky:
You've got to be kidding me.

Satan:
[angry] What's the matter, Becky, huh? You don't like singing and fun? Everyone else here does, okay, wet blanket?

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Judas:
Mike check, mike check, one two. ESCAPEOOOOOKE!

DJ Jesus:
Sounds good.

Judas:
Kick-ass acoustics here, man.

Satan:
[to Becky] Oh, this guy?

Becky:
Oh, not this guy.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Animatronic Talking Burrito:
Holy guacamole! I'm out of controli!

Becky:
Well, this is the place.

Satan:
I love that talking burrito.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[Special Sister tries to summon Satan by using the Glass Eye of St. Augustine]

Special Sister:
Show us the spawn of Satan. Glass Eye of St. Augustine, find the antichrist.

[the glass eye moves to SF1]

Special Sister:
I KNEW IT!

Special Father #1:
What?

Special Sister:
IT'S YOU!

Special Father #1:
What?

Special Sister:
You're the antichrist.

Special Father #1:
What are you talk-- No.

Special Sister:
Your weird accent and your fancy shoes with your swagger.

Special Father #1:
What's "Swagger"?

Special Father #2:
Excuse me, Sister, it's the poster.

Special Sister:
What?

Special Father #2:
The poster. The -- The eye is looking at the poster.

Special Sister:
Oh! Oh, my god.

Special Father #1:
Ha. Ha. Ha! Ha. I knew it.

Special Sister:
I'm so sor--

Special Father #1:
I knew it.

Special Sister:
[stress] You just carry yourself in the way that I--

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

DJ Jesus:
Karaoke Tuesdays. Uh, we'll do it.

Lucy:
Really?

DJ Jesus:
A restaurant chain? That's the belly of the beast, man. That's awesome.

Judas:
That is awesome.

DJ Jesus:
We'll shoot it for the DVD, and we won't just do karaoke. We'll do Escapeoke.

Judas:
Whoa, whoa, whoa. DJ J.

DJ Jesus:
Shh. Don't worry about it. It'll be, uh, it'll be a fearacle. Like a fear miracle, you know?

Lucy:
Mm-hmm.

DJ Jesus:
Hey -- Hey, you smell something?

Lucy:
Um...no.

Judas:
I do.

DJ Jesus:
Yeah, you smell it, right, Judas?

Judas:
I do, man, I smell it.

DJ Jesus:
It smells like [sniffs] It smells like fish.

Judas:
It kind of does!

Lucy:
Fish?

DJ Jesus:
Yeah, like, right behind your ear.

[DJ Jesus pulls a fish dish out of Lucy's ear]

Judas:
OH!

Lucy:
Oh. Huh.

DJ Jesus:
[to Lucy] Stay for dinner?

Judas:
Pulled out the platter of fish.

DJ Jesus:
You got that right.

Judas:
Dude, cameraman, tell me you got that?

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Lucy:
Hey, you know what would be horribly bad and tacky?

Satan:
What's that?

Lucy:
Karaoke.

Satan:
I love karaoke.

Lucy:
I know a guy who could set it up.

Satan:
You do?

Lucy:
Uh-huh.

Satan:
Luce, that's a good idea.

Lucy:
Thank you.

Satan:
I like it -- Like. We could call it, like...

Deep Voice:
Karaoke Tuesday.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Satan:
Hey, I just thought of a new drink. Diet Margarita. Guess what it's called. A Di-arita. Huh?

Lucy:
[tired] Brilliant.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Satan:
[on phone with a deep voice] You are the antichrist. Lucy, you are the -- [chuckles] Is that creepy?

Lucy:
Mm-hmm. So, you're just checking in or...?

Satan:
I'm ordering your, uh, Tequila Sally's uniform.

Lucy:
Right.

Satan:
So, what are you, a 10?

Lucy:
[pissed] A 10?!

Satan:
12? What?

Lucy:
Oh, my -- Oh, my god, I'm a 6.

Satan:
Mmm, I don't think so. I mean, really?

Lucy:
Yeah, I-- I'm --

Satan:
Ah, maybe I don't know women's clothing.

Lucy:
I think maybe you don't. Or women's body types because there's no universe in which I'm a 12.

Satan:
Look. Okay. Lucy.

Lucy:
Yeah.

Satan:
I don't want to order you a 6 and then you're gonna tell me a week after I get it for you, "I need a 10", or, "I need a 12".

Lucy:
That's not gonna happen. That's not gonna happen.

Satan:
Alright, so between now and the time the 6 comes in, you should lose 20 pounds. [chuckles]

Lucy:
Dad!

Satan:
[chuckling] What?

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Special Father #1:
And behind it all, the antichrist, never resting, never wasting a single moment in her dark quest.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

DJ Jesus:
Now, I don't know you, do I? We've -- We've never met.

Sexy Woman:
No.

DJ Jesus:
Is your name Delilah?

Sexy Woman:
No.

DJ Jesus:
Oh. Seriously? I'm -- I'm usually good at this. Is this your phone number?

[suddenly birds appear and poop the sexy woman's phone number on street]

Sexy Woman:
Oh, my god, how did you do that?

DJ Jesus:
I'll call you and tell you later...when we are [bleep].

Sexy Woman:
...You're not gonna [bleep] me.

[later]

DJ Jesus:
[on phone] Hello? Open your eyes. It's me on top of you [bleep] you.

[shows a scene where DJ Jesus and the Sexy Woman have sex together while holding their phones]

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

DJ Jesus:
I want to push deejaying. I want it to be more than deejaying and also less than deejaying.

DJ Jesus:
That's why I started incorporating miracles into my set. Miracles are like almost miracles. They get close, but, you know, it's not quite there. It's a miracle.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Special Sister:
The Glass Eye of St. Augustine! We can find and destroy the antichrist.

Special Father #1:
Uh, how much for this?

Eyeball Salesman:
$7,000.

Special Father #1:
That's a little steep.

[Special Sister then pulls out her gun and shoots the eyeball salesman]

Special Father #1:
Sister, no. [sighs] This is why I hate shopping with you two.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Special Father #1:
We were not aware at the time, but other forces were gathering. A humble deejay was rising in power and fame.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

We need you!

Help us build the largest authors community and quotes collection on the web!

Quiz

Are you a quotes master?

»
"Hasta la vista, baby."
A Terminator 4
B Terminator 3
C Terminator 1
D Terminator 2