Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #28

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,956 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Special Father #1:
In our quest to kill the antichrist, we scoured the earth, searching for the holy weapons described in the prophecy.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[while Satan and Becky are still talking about the Armageddon stuff]

Becky:
I have to say something.

Satan:
It's all set, though. I'm taking care of it.

Becky:
Are you? Because it seems to me, on my end, that you're losing control of your daughter.

[Satan pressed his keyboard hard controlling a random person to light the entire club on fire]

Satan:
WRONG! WRONG, BECKY! I'm not losing control, alright? I'll handle it. God!

Becky:
I hope so!

Satan:
Becky...

Becky:
'Cause from where I'm sitting...

Satan:
...so uptight.

Satan:
[singing] I got it...under control. I got it under control. I am the devil. And I got you under my control.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Satan:
[on phone] How's the date going?

Lucy:
It's fantastic. It's the best date ever.

Satan:
The club you're at. Wha -- What's the name of the club?

Lucy:
Armageddon. Why?

Satan:
Listen, I want you to get out of there right now and call me when you're about a block away.

Satan:
[singing while playing his keyboard] There's gonna be a terrible, terrible fire at the club.

Lucy:
What? What?

Satan:
Or, I don't know, maybe a truck is gonna crash into it. Depends on who I can get at this time of night.

Lucy:
What are you talking about?

Satan:
[typing on computer] "Armageddon". Google.

Lucy:
What are you doing?

Satan:
Giving you the address. Got to kill [singing] hmm, hmm again.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Satan:
This is Satan.

Senator:
[while beaten up] Master, this date isn't going so well.

Satan:
W-What's going on?

Senator:
Well, for one thing, your daughter is a little bit high-strung.

Satan:
I know.

Senator:
And then she starts making eyes at this DJ Jesus. Are you kidding me.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Special Father #1:
[on phone] Okay, okay, okay. Bye-bye. [hangs up]

Special Father #2:
Who was that?

Special Father #1:
That was the Pope. He says we should continue to San Francisco any way we can.

Special Father #2:
[slurps] Does this cocoa taste really good to you?

Special Father #1:
[slurps] It's pretty good.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[while The Senator gets beaten up by the bouncers of the club outside]

Senator Whitehead:
[in pain] That's the kidney park.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Satan:
Yeah, well, you know, kids today...get distracted easily.

[shows a scene where Satan is watching Tom Goes To The Mayor on TV]

Becky:
Uh-huh.

Satan:
Hey, did I, uh -- [dazed off]

Becky:
Uh-huh?

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Becky:
So, how's it going with the antichrist project?

Satan:
[writes down] "S of G". I'm an acronym guy.

Becky:
Yeah, I kno -- I know, and sometimes you're thinking it's gonna make the conversation shorter, but it makes it longer 'cause you have to tell me what it means.

Satan:
Right, but it's funner to say letters.

Becky:
Yes, it is fun for you.

Satan:
Do one.

Becky:
Okay, how's it going with the A.C.?

Satan:
The air-conditioning?

Becky:
[tired] See, this is what I mean.

Satan:
What's the A.C.?

Becky:
AntiChrist.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Satan:
[on phone] Hey, I just wanted to say sorry about calling so late last night.

Lucy:
Mm-hmm.

Satan:
But I drank four, uh, appletinis and --

Lucy:
Dad, I can't really talk right now.

Satan:
Well, you ever had one? 'Cause they're delicious.

Lucy:
No.

Satan:
Fresh Apple...

Lucy:
No.

Satan:
...Apple Vodka...

Lucy:
No.

Satan:
...Apple Schnapps...

Lucy:
No.

Satan:
...and you --

Lucy:
Dad, Dad, can you stop for a second?

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[Lucy's Dog growlingly stares at Ethan]

Lucy:
Ethan, how is your beer? Is it okay?

Ethan:
It's good.

Lucy:
I don't know what music you like. What's, uh -- Oh, is he growling at you?

Ethan:
Yes, he is.

Lucy:
It's very hard to hear. It's so low, it's like --

Ethan:
It's -- It's not really hard to hear, actually.

Lucy:
[to her dog] Who is Mr. Scary Dog? You are a scary dog.

Ethan:
Hey, can he go -- Can he -- Does he want to check out another room or something?

[Lucy's phone rings]

Lucy:
Oh, hold on one second. [leaves]

Ethan:
Please, please.

Lucy:
Ethan. I'm so sorry. I'll be right back, one sec.

Ethan:
Take him with you.

Lucy:
Just be a sec.

Ethan:
[quietly scared] Take him with you...

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Classmate #1:
Look at the rack on Lucy!

[suddenly Lucy's dog tears Classmate #1 to shreds]

Classmate #1:
AAH! MY FACE!

Classmate #2:
I didn't know we could bring dogs to school.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Demon Voice:
Previously on Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Stroker:
I have a guess, alright, and it's kkkh!

Mysterious Voice:
What? I-I didn't hear you.

Stroker:
I said -- Kkkh!

Mysterious Voice:
You're -- You're not coming in.

Stroker:
I said can you hear me now? That's definitely who you are. Kkkh!

Mysterious Voice:
Try adjusting your--

Double-Wide:
Of course. Kkkkkhhhh! [to Stroker] You're brilliant.

Mysterious Voice:
Can you try adjusting on your end a little bit? I'm not -- I can't -- Ohh.

C.A.R.R.:
They're just imitating static.

Stroker:
OH, DAMN IT, C.A.R.R.!

Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[the people honk their horns at Coroner Rick blocking the line up to get their fast food]

Coroner Rick:
SHUT THE [bleep] UP!

TC Employee:
You need to pull forward to the second window.

Coroner Rick:
Now listen. This is official business. I'm a county coroner, and I need to stay on the line with Stroker and Hoop. Guys, it's Coroner Rick.

Stroker:
Did you find us yet? Did you triangulate our signal to find our location?

Coroner Rick:
Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure thing. I'm triangulating right now.

Coroner Rick:
Now listen. You've got to be very careful with your final guess. Think hard. The Car Wash Turtle; one of the 5 Diamonds; somebody connected to one of the 29 girls who were murdered down south; somebody who saw "Sack Flashers" and was psychologically traumatized, like myself; an employee of New Hampshire fuzzy bear; Stroker's dermatologist, who had her fingers cut off because she lied about the crinkly paper in the office--

Mysterious Voice:
Ding. Time is up. Do you have a guess?

Stroker:
Yes, and it's--

Double-Wide:
[bleep] you, Stroke. I'm guessing. My life is on the line.

Stroker:
All our lives are on the line, you fat, delirious, pee-talkin, piece of [bleep].

Hoop:
Without my fanny pack, I don't want to live. Kill us all, creepy voice.

Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[the walkie-talkie suddenly gets a signal from Coroner Rick]

Coroner Rick:
Yeah. Yeah. I'd like an order of the dogs and tots, some onion fling rings, and a large diet coke.

Double-Wide:
It's Coroner Rick.

Stroker:
Coroner Rick?

Coroner Rick:
Fellas, what the hell are you doing at O'Batterz?

Stroker:
We were kidnapped.

[after a couple of explanations later]

Stroker:
And that's what happened.

Coroner Rick:
Oh, my god, you've got to pick the person who's life you ruined? How many guesses do we get-- 20, 30?

Hoop:
1.

Coroner Rick:
Oh, [bleep]. You guys are dead meat.

Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Double-Wide:
Remember how you crash-landed on an alien planet? Did you befriend the advanced race of aliens to benefit mankind? Nooo. Oh, you guys have no follow-through. And what happened to that mind-control device you took from Ron Howard?

Stroker:
Every once in a while, I'll have a few beers and tell Tom Cruise I'm L. Ron Hubbard or something.

C.A.R.R.:
Stroker broke it trying to get women to sleep with him.

Stroker:
That's a laugh.

C.A.R.R.:
You mean, we're all laughing at how pathetic you are. I agree.

Hoop:
[to Stroker] You've had a tough year.

Stroker:
Tough on my Johnson maybe.

Hoop:
Name one woman you've slept with.

Stroker:
Look. I bagged a lot of women last year. I'm just not one to screw and tell, but since we're dying, Caterina..

[flashbacks to all the girls she meant in the restaurant while asking them for another bread stick]

Stroker:
[to Caterina] Another bread stick?

Stroker:
The teacher...

Stroker:
[to Teacher] Another bread stick?

Stroker:
That intern from ToddCo...

Stroker:
[to Intern] Another bread stick?

Stroker:
The chicks at the hip-hop bar.

Stroker:
[to the chicks] Another bread stick?

Stroker:
Took them all to Neptune's, you know, with the free bread sticks. I bread them and bed them, baby.

Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Stroker:
C.A.R.R., you've got to crack your window open so we can left out those pee fumes. We're all going crazy.

C.A.R.R.:
I've been reprogrammed.

Stroker:
Alright. Well, I guess I'm gonna shoot Double-Wide in the gut, fill the back seat with blood and fecal matter.

[C.A.R.R. rolls down the window letting Pee Diddy out]

Pee Diddy:
I'M FREE!

Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Mysterious Caller:
Time for your second guess.

Double-Wide:
It's the talking pee!

Mysterious Caller:
Wrong! You guys aren't doing too well, are you?

Stroker:
No. That doesn't count. That -- That's not our guess. He's delirious.

Double-Wide:
Look. I don't know who you are, but I do know you didn't plan for me to be here. Look into your heart.

Pee Diddy:
[happily] I don't have a heart.

Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Hoop:
I've got it -- Beeffinger.

Stroker:
I don't remember Beeffinger.

Hoop:
Remember when Beeffinger released the cattle and we had to go rustle it back? Whew, I sure do.

[cuts to the next scene where it flashbacks an old Hanna-Barbera tv series of Speed Buggy, when Stroker, Hoop, C.A.R.R., and D. Wide dubbed themselves as the original characters who they're similar as]

Hoop (as Tinker):
We got to get that cattle.

Stroker (as Mark):
Come on, C.A.R.R.

C.A.R.R. (as Speed Buggy):
Vroom a-zoom zoom! I'll just use this cape and play matador.

Double-Wide (as Debbie):
Way to go, C.A.R.R.

C.A.R.R. (as Speed Buggy):
Zoom zoom!

Double-Wide (as Debbie):
What the hell? I'm a woman?

Audience:
[laughter]

Double-Wide (as Debbie):
I'm gonna feel my own breasts.

C.A.R.R. (as Speedy Buggy):
Vroom a-zoom zoom!

Hoop (as Tinker):
I'm sorry. Mr. Beeffinger can't come to the phone right now. He's all tied up.

C.A.R.R. (as Speed Buggy):
Talk about a bum steer.

Stroker (as Mark):
Ha ha ha! You said it. Now let's drag this S.O.B. behind C.A.R.R. until his skin flies off.

Hoop (as Tinker):
Stroke.

Double-Wide (as Debbie):
Guys, you got to come over here and feel these breasts. They're amazing.

[Pee Diddy arrives in the flashback]

Pee Diddy:
Don't mind if I do.

Double-Wide (as Debbie):
Not you again.

[flashback ends]

Hoop:
Yep. Those were the days.

Double-Wide:
Yeah, before the pee was out to get us.

Pee Diddy:
I'm part ammonia.

Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[while Stroker, Hoop, and Double-Wide are still weaken by the gas inside C.A.R.R., a pee ghost appears]

Pee Diddy:
Come on, guys. You can guess.

Double-Wide:
Oh, god, the pee fumes are talking to me. I'm not gonna make it.

Pee Diddy:
Call me Pee Diddy. When I'm yellow, it means you're not drinking enough water.

Double-Wide:
Shut up!

Pee Diddy:
When people are dying of thirst, they try to drink me. But they don't realize I have too much salt.

Double-Wide:
Oh, shut up! Shut up!

Stroker:
Who the hell are you talking to?

Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Double-Wide:
Hoop, whatever happened to your ninja skills? You were a deadly assassin.

Hoop:
Oh, yeah. That's right.

Double-Wide:
You could use your ninja skills to break through the reinforced window.

Hoop:
It's worth a shot.

Double-Wide:
Left hand!

Hoop:
Ouch.

Double-Wide:
Right hand.

Hoop:
Son of a b*tch.

Stroker:
Forehead.

Hoop:
Crap. It's no use. You really have to keep up with ninja practice, or you get rusty, like Spanish.

Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[Coroner Rick checks Stroker's movies]

Coroner Rick:
What the hell is this? My copy of "Legally Blonde"? Stroker told me he returned it. What's this? [sees Stroke-Her and Boob 3] Oh, I knew business was slow for the fellas, but damn.

[Coroner Rick plays the porn movie]

Commercial Narrator:
From Judd Winner, the maker of "Gals Gone Wild", comes a little something for the ladies.

[as Coroner Rick watches Stroke-Her and Boob, he then starts to sleep, and dreams about being inside the Stroke-Her and Boob movie]

Coroner Rick:
Whoo! Yeah! [laughs] Awesome, awesome. Check me out ladies! Whoo!

[Coroner Rick then gets censored as a face while covering both of Stroker and Hoop's private parts]

Coroner Rick:
Wait! Hold on. Where the hell am I? Guys, my head has been surgically attached to your genitals. Stop shaking like that! Help! Please. I got caught in a "Sack Flash" flashback.

[then Coroner Rick's censored face starts to get touched by Hoop's private area, making him wake up]

Coroner Rick:
Oh, my god. It's ok, Rick. It's ok. You're not a jiggling scrotum anymore.

Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Double-Wide:
All set.

Stroker:
You reprogrammed C.A.R.R. Awesome! C.A.R.R., open the doors now, you son of a b*tch.

Double-Wide:
Who said I reprogrammed C.A.R.R.? I just connected the walkie-talkie to his radio to boost the signal. HELLO? COME IN! HELP!

[the walkie-talkie suddenly gets a signal from 911]

Help Caller:
Hello?

Stroker, Hoop, and Double-Wide:
[repeating] Help!

TC Employee:
That's what I'm here for.

Double-Wide:
Oh, thank god. Listen carefully. We've been taken hostage. Every second counts.

TC Employee:
Would you like to try our Cajun Wasabi Wowie Wings?

Double-Wide:
What the hell are you talking about? Who are you?

TC Employee:
Um, welcome to T.C. O'Batterz. May I take your order?

Double-Wide:
Help! We're trapped in a crane somewhere in the desert. We need help!

TC Employee:
Who is this? Stop screwing around, Bac-o.

Double-Wide:
BUT YOU'VE GOT TO HELP US! DAMN IT, MAN! WE'RE SUFFOCATING ON URINE FUMES.

TC Employee:
Goodbye, Bac-o. [hangs up]

Double-Wide:
HELLO? I'LL TAKE 6 ORDERS OF SIZZLING CAJUN WINGS AND 12 LARGE SODAS. I'LL TAKE EVERY CURLY FRY IN THE DAMN STATE IF YOU'LL JUST PLEASE DON'T LET ME SUFFOCATE ON MY OWN URINE. JUST PLEEASE LOOK INTO YOUR HEART. DON'T LEAVE HERE TO SUFFOCATE ON URINE FUMES LIKE AN ANIMAL!

C.A.R.R.:
Like an animal suffocating on urine fumes?

Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Stroker:
[coughs] Won't last long breathing these urine fumes.

C.A.R.R.:
Maybe if you'd cleaned out the garage, you could've locked me up.

Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

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