Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #82

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 6,896 quotes total — keep up the great work!

[Stroker & Hoop went into disguise again to meet the Talking Diamond]

Neil Diamond:
Stroker and Hoop?

Hoop:
Don't be alarmed. We're Stroker and Hoop in disguise as-- [realizes] How did you know?

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Stroker:
Most magic shops were closed in honor of Copperfield's death except you, because you knew he wasn't dead. Now, where's Copperfield?

Magic Shop Owner:
I don't know anything about the Illustrious David Copperfield.

Stroker:
I never said his first name.

[Stroker uses shock button to confess the Magic Shop Owner where Copperfield is]

Magic Shop Owner:
Ow! Alright, alright. I don't know why you're asking me. If you run with the diamonds, you must know more about the precious metals than I do.

Hoop:
The precious metals? [to Stroker] Shock him.

[Stroker shock the Magic Shop Owner again]

Magic Shop Owner:
Goldie Hawn, Whoopi Goldberg, David Copperfield, and a Talking Buffalo Nickel. Six months ago, Goldberg and Goldie banded together to form a liberal counterway to the Diamond's Greed.

Stroker:
Where are they? [shock him again as always]

Magic Shop Owner:
Ow! DAMMIT! Would you please stop that? It doesn't hurt. It's just annoying.

Stroker:
Oh, sorry.

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Stroker:
Stop wasting my time, detective. You don't have any evidence.

[Detective Putoine shows Stroker's gun]

Stroker:
Besides the gun.

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[after Hoop accidentally shoot the Talking Diamond's nose off while wearing headphones]

Stroker:
His new nose is coming out of your paycheck.

Hoop:
What paycheck? You don't pay me. This is bullcrap, man.

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[after Stroker & Hoop got done from the Magic Shop]

Talking Diamond:
Any luck?

Stroker:
That magic shop owner didn't know crap.

Hoop:
I don't know. Look at the craftsmanship in this vomit. The attention to detail is really incredible.

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Stroker:
Get out your bribe money, Hoop.

[Hoop brings some several coins, and 1 penny]

Stroker:
That's all you've got?

Hoop:
Yeah. We gotta talk about that. I need to start getting paid around here, Stroker.

Stroker:
I pay you...in, uh, gratitude.

Hoop:
I need to provide for my girlfriend.

Stroker:
Vanessa put you up to this? I told you she's bad news.

Hoop:
Gimme a break, alright?

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Talking Diamond:
Gentlemen, I think we owe Stroker and Hoop an explanation.

C.A.R.R.:
And me!

Talking Diamond:
As you know, for years, the name Diamond has stood for the pinnacle of achievement in many fields. [The 5 Diamond crew form an act as a hologram video projector of how the diamond name happened]

Stroker:
What the hell is this crap?

Talking Diamond:
Whenever an important project changed the way America thought about entertainment, you can bet the name Diamond was attached. "Diamond are forever". "Diamonds are a girl's best friend". "Touching you, touching me". "Hello, nasty". "Young Guns II". "Dustin Diamond teaches chess". Just to name a few.

Talking Diamond:
Recently, it was discovered long prophesized sixth diamond had been born. His name was Danny Diamond Schmickler, and he was born to take our careers to the next level. Before we could reach him, he was abducted by David Copperfield. If he is not found by midnight tomorrow, on the night of his 10th birthday, there will be no more famous diamonds.

[The 5 Diamonds fell down ending the act of the video]

Talking Diamond:
You boys help us find Danny, and I personally guarantee you'll be swimming in diamonds.

Stroker:
We're just the men for the job.

Hoop:
If there are no more famous diamonds, there will still be other famous people.

Talking Diamond:
Yeah, of course.

Hoop:
So, what difference would it make?

Dustin Diamond:
What difference would it make? I'll tell you! "SAVED BY THE BELL"! [slaps Hoop] "PAUL'S BOUTIQUE"! [slaps Hoop] "LA BAMBA"! [slaps Hoop] "FOREVER IN BLUE JEANS"! [slaps Hoop] SAVED BY THE FRICKIN BELL!

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Talking Diamond:
Holy -- Neil, come on! Pop a cap in 'em, and let's get out of here before anybody sees us.

Stroker:
So long, C.A.R.R. We had a nice ride.

C.A.R.R.:
Oh, Stroke. I'll be thinking of you, too-- When I'm living in Hollywood with Neil.

Lou Diamond Phillips:
This talking car knows too much. Let's roll him off the cliff.

C.A.R.R.:
What? Hey, guys. Don't listen to Lou Diamond Phillips!

Talking Diamond:
Good thinking. We'll put these two inside, make it look like an accident.

C.A.R.R.:
He's not even a real Diamond. He's a Phillips. Lou Phillips! Neil, what's your middle name?

Neil Diamond:
Leslie.

C.A.R.R.:
Exactly. You don't hang out with The 5 Leslie's right?

Neil Diamond:
Who are The 5 Leslie's?

C.A.R.R.:
That not my point, you-- I mean, come on, guys. You really want to walk all that way?

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[after Stroker & Hoop got beaten up from The 5 Diamonds]

Stroker:
Ow, crap! Get off me!

Hoop:
You were sleeping so peacefully. I didn't want to wake ya.

Stroker:
What? Where are we?

Hoop:
C.A.R.R.'s trunk. The 5 Diamonds are up front.

Talking Diamond:
Here's a good place to dump the bodies.

Stroker:
What did he say?

Hoop:
Something about dropping off their buddies. They must mean us.

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Stroker & Hoop meet The 5 Diamonds]

Hoop:
Hey! I got an M&M delivery for The 5 Diamonds.

[Dustin Diamond opens the door for Stroker & Hoop]

Dustin Diamond:
Come on in. Put 'em on the table.

Hoop:
Oh, my god! It really is the 5 Diamonds.

Talking Diamond:
Dustin, look at these M&Ms.

Stroker:
We're the local M&M delivery service.

Dustin Diamond:
The hell you are! [slaps the red M&Ms bowl off of Hoop's hands] Try again.

Hoop:
This is really embarrassing. Actually, we're from -- Your fan club.

Stroker:
Go 5 Diamonds, man.

Hoop:
YEOW!

Dustin Diamond:
Ok, ok. Um, ok, have a seat, guys. Y-You know what I love about my fans? They know all of the little things about me. They--They know I'm a capricorn. They know I'm left-handed. They even bring me special little left-handed gifts like funny novelty clocks that run backward.

Hoop:
Ha ha! We almost got you that.

Dustin Diamond:
And, um, they especially know that my favorite thing in the whole world is a particular color of M&Ms. Green. Because I can't stand the sight of the red ones, you [bleep] phonies!

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Stroker & Hoop sees backstage door of The 5 Diamonds]

Hoop:
I thought of everything.

Stroker:
What the hell are those for?

Hoop:
The Diamonds have a special writer in their contract. They want a bowl full of red M&M's after the show. I read it in in "Tiger Beat".

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Hoop:
So, what are we doing at this coliseum, Stroker?

Stroker:
I pulled some clues off of Copperfield's body. This Copper pistol and these, backstage passes to some group called the 5 Diamonds.

C.A.R.R.:
Oh, my god!

Hoop:
THE 5 DIAMONDS?!

C.A.R.R.:
The 5 Diamonds were created from Titans of the Entertainment Industry and engineered to be the perfect boy band. They are, Neil Diamond, the front man. Mike Diamond, the clean-cut one. Mr. La Bamba, Loud Diamond Phillips, the ethnic guy. Dustin Diamond, the bad boy. And of course, the ultimate object of every girl's fantasy, the world's only talking diamond.

Stroker:
Never heard of 'em.

5 Diamonds Fan Girl:
Yeah, go Diamonds! [pulls out her breasts]

Stroker:
[to the fan girl] Alright! Go 5 Diamonds!

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Angry Car Guy:
It's green, moron! Watch the light!

Stroker:
Automatic car, asshole. C.A.R.R., it's green. Watch the light.

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

C.A.R.R.:
So, how are we gonna find Danny?

Stroker:
I'll tell you after we pick up Hoop.

C.A.R.R.:
Why don't you just tell me now?

Stroker:
Then I have to tell it twice. You can just wait for when we get Hoop.

C.A.R.R.:
Yeah, it's taking you longer to *not* tell me than it would to just tell me.

Stroker:
C.A.R.R.!

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Hoop's Mom sees Hoop and Vanessa playing Crapple]

Hoop's Mom:
Who's winning?

Vanessa:
Hoop.

Hoop's Mom:
My Hoopie always had a good vocabulary. He's quite a reader.

Vanessa:
Yeah.

Hoop's Mom:
[sees the board] There's no such thing as "Enveep".

Hoop:
Oh, it's a type of fruit that-- Uh...

Vanessa:
I tried to challenge him, Mrs. Schwartz, but we didn't have a dictionary.

Hoop's Mom:
[sad] I don't need a dictionary to spell whore! It's V-A-N-E-S-S-A! I'm getting Webster's!

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Detective Putoine:
Stroker, I've read your statement. It says here you shot David Copperfield?

Stroker:
He was supposed to catch the bullet.

Detective Putoine:
Right. The bullet catch. Yeah. His big finale.

Stroker:
I warned him. I said, "David, you've been drinking. Are you sure you're up to the bullet trick"? And--And he insisted.

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Hoop's Mom:
Hoopie, why is the door closed?

Hoop:
Oops.

Hoop's Mom:
The door is to remain open when ladies are present.

Hoop:
Hold on, Mom. We're playing Crapple. [to Vanessa] Quick, get dressed.

Vanessa:
Dammit, Hoop. That's it.

Hoop's Mom:
Hoop!

Hoop:
Hold on, Mom. Vanessa is just tallying her score.

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Stroker:
Copperfield, what did you do with the kid?

David Copperfield:
You'll never find him, Stroker.

Stroker:
How did you know my name?

David Copperfield:
Show me some respect. I'm David Fricking Copperfield!

[as David Copperfield tries to disappear with a smoke bomb, Stroker shoots him, which failed miserably]

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

David Copperfield:
Do I have any volunteers? How 'bout you, Danny?

Danny:
I don't want to disappear.

David Copperfield:
What if I shared the secret to one of my famous illusions with you?

Danny:
Alright.

[David grabs Danny]

David Copperfield:
[whispered] Stop being a wussy, and get in the frigging cage. [puts him in the cage] Now, don't tell any of your friends.

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Stroker meets his son]

Stroker:
Hey, sorry I'm late, pal. I was chasing some bad guys.

Keith:
Mom said you were asleep.

Stroker:
[pulls up an air freshener] Hey, look, what Dad got ya. This, uh, this is a chinese throwing star, huh?

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Angel:
Glad you could make it. The kids are out back watching David Copperfield.

Stroker:
What the hell is Copperfield doing here?

Angel:
Apparently, we won some contest.

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Stroker's voice message on phone]

Stroker:
Hello, there. This is Stroker. I'm a private investigator, so I'm probably out in a dangerous mission right now. So, just leave it at the beep. Ciao. Here comes the beep. Here it comes. Oh, and hey, if you're calling for Dr. Ditmer, this is not a dentist's office, so please--

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Stroker:
Hoop, check the pager!

Hoop:
Alright, let's see here. Penis enlargement, penis enlargement, penis enlargement, low mortgage, penis enlargement. [gasps] This isn't spam! Some guy invented a penis enlargement pill, and it's been stolen!

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Mr. Wilson:
There they are. The two idiots.

Hoop:
Megan? Is that you?

Stroker:
Hey, you lost weight. Lookin' good, Megan.

Mr. Wilson:
She crawled in the forest for 3 days to find...

Stroker:
Uh, you didn't get the ambulance? Oh, 'cause we called. We called. Hoop, didn't I tell you to call the ambulance?

Mr. Wilson:
You son of a b*tch! [steals 2 passports and box away from Stroker] [bleep] sucking mother [bleep] rat whore!

Mrs. Wilson:
[whispered] Jack.

– Stroker and Hoop  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

We need you!

Help us build the largest authors community and quotes collection on the web!

Browse Quotes.net

#ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ 

Quiz

Are you a quotes master?

»
Which film is the following quote from: "The Frost. Sometimes it makes the blade stick."?
A Romans
B Gladiator
C The Three Musketeers
D Spartacus