Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #78

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104 — There are currently 6,896 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Double-Wide: I give you the Porno-Cam XLS. Most of the time was just getting the FRICKING LETTERING RIGHT! Stroker: What? Double-Wide: Try them on. Stroker: How do I turn it on? I can't see crap. Double-Wide: Exactly. If you can't see her, she can't hypnotize you. Stroker: Well, how in the hell are we supposed to catch Judd when we can't see anything? Double-Wide: This camera will send video to a monitor inside C.A.R.R. and I'll guide you remotely, and I'll be recording everything so we can nail Judd. Hoop: Double-Wide, you're a genius. Come here, you big lug. Don't be shy! [hugs Stroker instead of Double-Wide while wearing porno glasses] – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
[while Double-Wide is working on un-hypnotizing device, he still feels disappointed at Stroker and Hoop for not making more porn movies of Stroke-Her and Boob] Hoop: Can we help? Double-Wide: Yes. You can help me by not asking any more dumbass questions. – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Double-Wide: You're the stars of the hottest new narrative porn property in years and you make "Sack Flashers"? We could have done 18 more "Stroke-Her and Boobs". I could have gotten you gross points and a pay-per-view special. WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? Stroker: Listen, Double-Wide-- Double-Wide: No, you listen. How do you expect to win a porny award when you're dabbling in the amateur stuff? It's a slap in the face to the entire industry. Stroker: Look, we need you to build a device to infiltrate Judd Winner's estate without getting hypnotized. Hoop: We've got to get evidence of Judd's misdeed and expose him at the porny awards. Double-Wide: Ok, one condition. Stroker: What? Double-Wide: You guys sign with me for exclusive representation. Stroker: We're not-- Double-Wide: No negotiation. Scripts, contracts, press-- From now on, everything goes through me. – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Stroker: [on phone] Yello? Angel: "Sack Flashers"? Stroker: Hi, Angel. Angel: Why can't you get a normal job? Nobody wants to see your sack. I've seen it and it ain't all that, ok? Stroker: Listen, Angel-- Angel: Keith was watching cartoons when your commercial came on. What kind of sick mind advertises their sacks during "Spongebutt"? He's gone blind, Stroker, blind. The doctor says it is hysterical blindness. He's so embarrassed by the hot sacks. Keith, Keith! Stay away from there! I've got to go. But I want part of the royalties, ok? Stroker: Judd Winner is going down. C.A.R.R.: Oh, that reminds me. You were also nominated for the best actor going down on a-- Stroker: Enough. – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Stroker: [on phone] What is it now, Hoop? Hoop: Have you turned on the tv lately? Stroker: No, why? [Hoop bring the phone to the tv that shows a new porn commercial of themselves again] Commercial Narrator: From Judd Winner, the maker of "Gals Gone Wild", comes a little something for the ladies-- "Sack Flashers". [shows a scene where Stroker and Hoop shows their butts in front of the camera] Commercial Narrator: It takes balls to do what have got them and more. They're Sack Flashers. Stroker and Hoop: [on TV] WE LOVE "SACK FLASHERS"! Stroker: OH, IT'S A SACK ATTACK. OW! Commercial Narrator: Order now and get "Sack Flashers 2: Sacks In the City", with bonus material-- "Beach Balls"! Commercial Narrator: Our first 100 callers get this free "Sack Flashers" tote sack. Operators are standing by. You'd be nuts to pass up on this offer. Call now or visit Sackflashers.com for exclusive downloads. Stroker: [sighs] Hoop, I got another call. Hoop: Eh, catch you later. I've got to go break all the TVs before Mom tries to watch "Monk". – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Stroker: What's all this mail? C.A.R.R.: Oh, it's the copies of "Stroke-Her and Boob 2", just like you asked. Oh, one hiccup-- Uh, once they sell out, they make more, so we're into the third printing. But no problemo. I took out a home equity loan in your name to pay for it. Stroker: Wait a minute. What? C.A.R.R.: On the bright side, congratulations. You and Hoop have been nominated for some awards. Hoop was nominated for 10, including best newcomer. Stroker: How many did I get? C.A.R.R.: One-- Best Cleveland steamer. – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Ms. Peach: We missed you at the cookout. We had no cups. We had to share swigs from 2-litter bottles of Pepsi. C.A.R.R.: [holding the toy gun directly at Ms. Peach] Just say the word and I'll drop her, Stroke. – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
C.A.R.R.: [on a call] Hello, yes. I'd like to order al your copies of "Stroke-Her and Boob 2", please. Yes, sir, every single one. How many is that? They made that many? Ok, I'll pay with VISA. [suddenly a squirrel jumps on C.A.R.R.] C.A.R.R.: [on a call] Whoa, whoa. Wow. I'm sorry. Could you hold one second? DIE, SQUIRREL! [shoots the squirrel with a toy gun] C.A.R.R.: Ok, I'm back. – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Judd Winner: Allow me to offer you a free "Gals Gone Wild" t-shirt. [suddenly Areola lifts up her shirt revealing her breasts to hypnotize the two drunk girls] Areola: Look into my nipples. Look into my nipples-- Not around the nipples, but in the nipples, and you're out. Areola: Ok, you're horny college girls who want to lift your shirts for the cameras. [the hot girls starts to lift their shirts off for the cameras] Areola: Alright now, stick your tongues out and make out. Areola: Alright, now say, "We love Gals Gone Wild". Hot Girls: WE LOVE "GALS GONE WILD"! Areola: Alright, now read this. [shows a note] Hot Girls: [reading] "I hereby give permission for the worldwide use of this footage in any format to "Gals Gone Wild" productions, L.L.C. [cheering] Areola: Great. Now when I lower my top, you'll wake up and have no memory of this. 3, 2, 1, and you're back. Hot Girl #2: We don't want to be in your sleazy tape, ok? So just leave us alone. [the hot girls leaved] Judd Winner: [to Stroker (as Cameraman)] They're in for a little surprise on tv next month, huh? [laughs] Stroker (as Cameraman): So that's your secret -- Hypnosis? Judd Winner: What did you think? TV turned a whole generation of girls into sleazy whores? That we normalizes promiscuous behavior to the point where college chicks would get naked for millions of masturbating men for the price of a trucker's hat? Come on, guys, of course it's hypnosis. – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Stroker (as Cameraman): Hey, how we doing tonight? So, uh. you girls want to flash your tops, or... Hot Girl #1: Screw off. Hoop (as Sound Guy): Wait, don't be offended. We've got Mardi Grad beads. Hot Girl #1: It's not Mardi Gras, ok? Stroker (as Cameraman): Give me a break. It's the same beads. – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Stroker (as Cameraman): So, Mr. Winner, caught "Stroke-Her and Boob". Great work, great work. Hoop (as Sound Guy): I thought boob really had a luminous quality. Stroker (as Cameraman): Really? I thought Stroker stole the show. He's pretty sexy. So how'd you get famous detective like Stroker and Ho-- Judd Winner: Stop talking and sit the hell down. We're 15 minutes late. In 15 minutes, Judd Winner makes more money than you two idiots make all year. In 15 minutes, Judd Winner could have shot 50 pairs of boobs. – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
[Stroker and Hoop disguises themseleves as the Cameraman and Sound Guy] Stroker (as Cameraman): Hey, sorry we're late. Judd Winner: Areola, where are Bertie and Sid? Areola: I don't know. Bertie said he'd be here. Hoop (as Sound Guy): They were having trouble, uh, some trouble with their gear. Judd Winner: Areola, I pay you to know this crap. You think hot college chicks are going to flash their boobs at two out-of-shape 40-year-old douchebags who can't even dress themselves. Stroker (as Cameraman): [triggered] Hoop (as Sound Guy): [sadly insulted] – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
[Stroker and Hoop knock down Cameraman and Sound Guy] Cameraman: Take my money. Just don't kill me. Hoop: Don't worry, we're just going to knock you out and steal your clothes. Cameraman: Oh, you killed Bertie. [cries] Oh, Berite. Stroker: We didn't kill Bertie, alright? Now be still. Cameraman: He ain't breathing. Bertie. Stroker: I know how to knock people out, alright? I'm a detective. Cameraman: Do you check? Hoop: Check what? Cameraman: The people you knock out? Do you follow up, give them tests afterwards to make sure they're not brain damaged? Hoop: Actually, Stroker, that's not a bad sugg-- [Stroker gets back on hitting the cameraman again with the bottle] Cameraman: OW, CRAP! I feel my head swelling. My left side is going numb. Hey, how about I just pretend I'm knocked out? [ten minutes later] Hoop: These cowboy boots do not want to come off. Stroker: Friggin' jeans. Damn it. We're going to miss the plane. [thirty minutes later] Stroker: Ugh, leave his underwear, Hoop. Hoop: Hey, Stroker, when I get into character, I do it completely. – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Stroker: C.A.R.R., here's my credit card. Buy all the copies of "Stroker-Her and Boob 2" and destroy them. C.A.R.R.: Credit card? Sweet. – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Hoop: There! There's Judd's cameraman and sound guy. C.A.R.R.: I got a clear shot. I'm taking him down. Stroker: Do not shoot. That is not a toy. C.A.R.R.: No, it is a toy. It is definitely a toy. Stroker: Come on, Hoop. C.A.R.R.: Good luck. If anything happens, I got your back. [pulls up a toy gun] Sort of. – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
[Double-Wide gives C.A.R.R. new upgrades by giving him a gun] Double-Wide: You're all set, C.A.R.R. Give her a try. C.A.R.R.: Finally, a gun. I'm one of the team. One of the boys. Wait a minute. Is that B.B. rattling? A B.B. gun? Aw, you bastards. – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Hoop: We need to find an expert on porn and figure out how he did it. [cuts to the next scene where Stroker and Hoop are at Double-Wide's garage] Double-Wide: First of all, I am not an expert in porn just because I have a small collection of DVDs, laser discs, and vintage 16mm films. Secondly, YOU BASTARDS! YOU WERE IN A PORN MOVIE AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME? Double-Wide: Congratulations! You! I saw Shades of Peter North in "Encino Housewife Hookers", and I don't say that lightly. On the other hand, the sequel, not as good. I don't know who your agent is, but it's a rather large career misstep. – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
[Stroker and Hoop watches a random DVD that came from Stroker's yard] Rod Larabie: Hi, I'm Rod Larabie with an important message from the Pornography Film Institute. Won't you join me in helping pass down out porn to future generations? Without your help, classic moments like this, the first interracial midget 3-way in cinema history will soon vanish. [the video goes to the next scene where they play Stroke-Her and Boob] Hoop: HOLY COW! Hot Woman: Somebody stole my jewels? Hot Woman #2: Let's hire Stroke-Her and Boob. Hot Woman: But they're the crappiest detectives in town. Stroker: [on TV] Did someone call for Detective Stroke-Her? Hoop: [on TV] And his lame-ass sidekick Boob? Hoop: Wow. What a makeup job. Stroker: We'll help you find the jewels. Hoop: Yeah, in our pants. Stroker: We'll start by doing to you what we do to all our clients. [Stroker and Hoop have sex with the two hot woman] Hoop: Wow, they even got the birthmarks on Boob just like mine. Stroker: Stop being an idiot, Hoop. That is us. Hoop: Oh, my god, you're right. [disgust] OH, GOD. You're flexible, Stroker. Stroker: I just wish I remembered it. Hoop: Judd must have drugged us. Stroker: That explains the missing two weeks. We're porn stars. How cool is that? Hoop: This isn't cool. What if my Mom watches this? Stroker: We should probably watch it a couple more times for clues. Trailer Narrator: Coming soon, check your local video retailer for "Stroke-Her and Boob 2: They always get their man". Hoop: You're under arrest. White Shirt Man: For what? Stroker: For being number one on my most wanted list. White Shirt Man: Are you guys gonna nail me for it? Stroker: You bet your sweet ass. Hoop: [disgust] OH, GOD. Stroker: Judd is going to pay. [tries to break a DVD in half] – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Ms. Peach: The neighbors got together and we're giving you a Cul-De-Sac ticket for letting your yard go, Mr. Strockmeyer. Stroker: Ms. Peach, I don't give a damn about your home printed, made-up, Cul-De-Sac tickets because they're not real tickets, alright? And I don't let my yard-- [sees his yard as a pigsty] Oh, crap. That is pretty bad. C.A.R.R.: Stroker. Stroker, over here. Stroker: C.A.R.R., what the hell? C.A.R.R.: Teenagers rolled me. You left me on manual for two weeks. I need some guns. James Bond's car had guns. Stroker: Two weeks? Ms. Peach: And what will you be bringing to our Cul-De-Sac clean-up and cookout this weekend? We need desserts. Stroker: How about cups? Ms. Peach: Well, that's the lazy way out, but fine. Cups it is. – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
[while Judd Winner gives Stroker and Hoop their rewards] Judd Winner: Areola, get these guys their money. Stroker: Thank you. Judd Winner: [to Areola] And also get me the hot tub surveillance tape from yesterday. Hoop: Surveillance tape? Judd Winner: Judd Winner has security camera all around his house. This jackass' identity won't be a mystery for long. Hoop: [worried] It's probably not healthy to watch when the wounds are so fresh. Judd Winner: Bull [bleep]! Hoop: O-Ok, so we'll give you some privacy then. Let's go, Stroke. Stroker: Later, Areola, and if you ever need a detective or just someone to talk to. Areola: Yeah, whatever. Hoop: Stroker, the time. Stroker: [to Areola] Wait. Let me write my new number on here. Also, do you validate parking? Hoop: STROKER! – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
[after it's revealed that Hoop was making out with Judd's Wife in pool while staying in undercover, Judd Winner sees photos of it] Judd Winner: Who is he? Who is he? Judd will kill him. Why is the guy's face so blurry? Stroker: Well, unfortunately, the hot tub caused some condensation on the lens. Hoop: Judd, the who is not really important here. It's the why. The point is, your marriage is in crisis. Judd Winner: Don't tell me what's important. What's important is roasting this guy's balls on a stick. – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
C.A.R.R.: Stroker, hot tub action. 2 o'clock! Stroker: Holy crap. Pay dirt. [sees Leslie making out with someone] Looks like the pool cleaner is draining more than her pool. [chuckles] C.A.R.R.: I don't get it. Stroker: It's a double entendre. C.A.R.R.: I know, but for what? – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
Stroker: Alright, boys, we've been spotted. Time to clean the pool. Hoop: Say your prayers, termites. [as Stroker and Hoop were about to get inside Judd's house while wearing disguises of one of them who is a pool cleaner and a exterminator, a van showed up who are real workers of a pool cleaner and a exterminator] Stroker: Oh, you got to be kidding me. Hoop: A real pool cleaner? What are the odds? – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago
[Stroker and Hoop go undercover in Judd's house] Leslie: [on phone] Ugh, I need a mini-pedi. Yeah. Yeah. You know, this really ugly car has been parked across the street all day. I wish they'd move it. It's hideous. Orange with fins all over it. C.A.R.R.: Oh, I can't wait till we nail this philandering whore. – Stroker and Hoop Movie Quote	added 5 months ago

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