Bernie the Agent:
HELP! HELLO! THIS'S A SERIOUS CALL FOR HELP!
Kermit the Frog:
Uh, Yeah?
Bernie the Agent:
SOMEONE? HELP! Oh, You, you with the banjo. Can you help me? I have lost my sense of direction!
Kermit the Frog:
Have you tried Hare Krishna?
Bernie the Agent:
(chuckles) No. No, I mean, I'm really lost.
Kermit the Frog:
Uh, one second. (snaps at fly) Darn, I missed. You know, that's the first thing to go on a frog, his tongue. The tongue goes and you can't catch flies.
Bernie the Agent:
Oh, that's rough, I'm sorry about your tongue, but, I have to get out of this swamp. I have to catch a plane.
Kermit the Frog:
With that tongue? No way! But seriously, there's a boat dock just downstream.
Bernie the Agent:
Thank you.
Kermit the Frog:
Just watch for the alligators.
Bernie the Agent:
I will. Alligators!?
Kermit the Frog:
That's right.
Bernie the Agent:
Did you say, alligators?
Kermit the Frog:
Read my lips "Al-li-ga-tors".
Bernie the Agent:
It's just that I'm not used to alligators where I come from. See, I'm an agent. I winged in from Hollywood.
Kermit the Frog:
Hollywood?
Bernie the Agent:
: That's right.
Kermit the Frog:
Did you say "Hollywood"?
Bernie the Agent:
Read my lips, Hol-ly-wood. You know, [singing] Hollywood. The dream factory, the magic store. Hey, don't you ever go to the movies?
Kermit the Frog:
Oh, sure, there's a double feature in town every Saturday.
Bernie the Agent:
(Snaps his finger) Wait a minute, wait a minute. (Grabs the newspaper ad to Kermit to read) There's an ad in here that you should be very interested in. Feast your eyes on that.
Kermit the Frog:
Uh, "World Wide Studios announces open auditions for frogs wishing to become rich and famous?" Well, thanks anyway, but I'm really pretty happy where I am.
Bernie the Agent:
Oh, oh, if I were you, I would give this audition very careful consideration. You've got talent, kid--singin', tellin' jokes, I mean, if you get your tongue fixed, who knows? You could make millions of people happy.
Kermit the Frog:
Millions of people happy...
Bernie the Agent:
Millions! Hey, If you ever come west to Hollywood, look me up, Bernie the Agent.
Kermit the Frog:
Hey, listen, Bernie the agent, why don't you say hello to Arnie the alligator?
Bernie the Agent:
What!? (rows away in a panic, yelling as the alligators pursues him)
Kermit the Frog:
Arnie! Arnie, wait a minute. Careful, Arnie.
Bernie the Agent:
STAY! STAY!
Kermit the Frog:
Arnie, that's okay, leave him alone! He's from Hollywood.
