Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #141

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,772 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Demon Salesman:
Hey, guys, come over here, check out these fidget spinners. Come on. Today's ADHD Millennials have trouble focusing on the torture you're trying to impose on 'em. Let the razor-tipped fidget spinner do all the work.

Demon Salesman:
[holds a fidget spinner] Oh, there she goes now. You ever see a spin like that? Just imagine what that can do, huh?

Gary Bunda:
Oh, man! Can I take it for a test drive?

Demon Salesman:
Absolutely, absolutely. But you got to be careful. They're self-aware, but they're not very smart. There she goes. Look at that.

Fidget Spinner #1:
I'm finally free of the chain!

[the fidget spinner slits the Demon Salesman's throat]

Fidget Spinners:
We're free!

Fidget Spinner #2:
[to Troy] Who's the son of a bitch who enslaved us?

Fidget Spinner #3:
[to Troy] It's him!

Fidget Spinner #2:
[to Troy] He did it!

Troy:
No, no, no, we're just visiting from out of town, visiting!

Fidget Spinner #2:
Liar! Everyone, attack!

Fidget Spinners:
Attack, attack! Attack!

[Troy and Eddie run from their lives against the fidget spinners]

Gary Bunda:
Don't forget, we have reservations at 7:20 tonight!

Eddie:
SEE YA THEN!

Gary Bunda:
SEE YA SOON!

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Troy:
What in the hell are you supposed to be dressed up as?

Gary Bunda:
I'm cosplay. I'm Steampunk Satan.

Troy:
I don't think this is that kind of convention, Gary.

Gary Bunda:
Come on. I'm not the only person in costume. You got Poison Ivy over there.

[cuts to the next scene where the torture woman is being tortured by poison ivy in all of her body]

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Satan:
What the hell is going on here?!

[Gary and Troy gets back to torturing Eddie with staplers and ropes]

Satan:
Hey, hey, stop, stop, stop. Eddie, you in any pain over there?

Eddie:
Wah-wah. [imitating a sad trombone sound effect]

Satan:
Yeah, what's...what is this?

Gary Bunda:
We put a bunch of rocks up his asshole, but the thing is is that his asshole is just...like this, and it's like a volcano top.

Troy:
Yeah, we've been having to improvise. We've been using, like, office supplies and stuff. We're -- We're completely out of ball clamps.

Satan:
Why don't you just go buy more?

Gary Bunda:
Um, how would we...

Troy:
I don't think we knew we could...

Gary & Troy:
Where would we do that?

Satan:
Suffer-Con. It's a convention of the latest tortures. This weekend in San Diablo.

Gary Bunda:
[surprised] San Diablo!

Troy:
Whoo!

Satan:
And, uh, Eddie, come on down. You go with 'em. I want you to try the clamps on your balls, make sure they're painful. Have fun. Bon voyage!

Gary, Troy, and Eddie:
ROAD TRIP!

[Eddie's butt suddenly pulls out rocks from his bottom]

Troy:
Those aren't the rocks we put in there.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Gary Bunda:
Why is Satan tormenting us all the time?

Troy:
Because it's hell.

Gary Bunda:
Yeah, but I mean, he got kicked out of heaven for being, like, a proud angel, so how does that translate into snapping clamps onto child molesters and to tax cheats?

Gary Bunda:
I think it would be so much cooler if he made Hell better than Heaven. That would be a bigger [bleep] to God than him being a bitch all the time.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Troy:
Hey, Ben, how many balls you think Eddie's got? We need a pair of balls clamps.

Gary Bunda:
Yeah, he's not Charlie Chaplin.

Ben:
How many of you jackoffs does it take to work one clamp?

Troy:
Where's this coming from?

Gary Bunda:
Whoooo!

Eddie:
Wow.

Gary Bunda:
No, Troy is working with me, alright. We are working, man. We don't sit at a desk all day.

Ben:
What do you want from me? You guys check 'em out, you don't check 'em back in.

Gary Bunda:
You don't work on the floor, you don't know what it's like. People walk into the lava, it melts the clamps. I cut off a pair of dick and balls, clamps go into a canyon. I don't have the hours in the daaaaaaay to go looking for these clamps, okay? I'm not some ball boy in Wimbledon.

Ben:
I got some binder clips.

Gary Bunda:
Oh, my god.

Troy:
Binder clips?

Ben:
And I got a rock. You can shove this up his ass.

Gary Bunda:
This is amateur hour.

Ben:
Look, until Satan order more clamps, you're gonna have to do with the clips.

Troy:
Alright, you know what? We'll take the -- We'll take the rocks, too. Give us the rocks.

Ben:
Okay, here's a big one. [throws the rock aggressively to the employees]

Troy:
You don't have to throw 'em!

Gary Bunda:
Let's go. We can shove these up his ass.

Ben:
You guys have a nice day.

Troy:
Have a nice day up your ass, Ben.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Roostre:
Alright, boy. Check this out.

[Roostre shows Spider, The Corn-Droid]

Roostre:
That's pretty freakin' awesome, isn't it? But here's the bitch of it. [sees the scan] Wrong hand.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Liquor:
Look. Roostre. has got this other thing, but he need the hand to make it work. Then we can blow this town apart.

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
Why does he need that hand?

Liquor:
Because, duh, it's his hand.

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
I'm not going anywhere without all these weapons.

Liquor:
Do you have any weapons?

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Fitz, Skillet, and Green Sweatered Woman heard something from the elevator]

Liquor:
Hi.

[Fitz and his friends, and especially the meat shoot Liquor,]

Liquor:
My skin is bulletproof.

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
No way.

Liquor:
Yes way.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
Looks like somebody with a hook might have filed all these serial numbers off. That's a mystery. That's a hook and mystery.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Rectangular Businessman:
And everyone thought Corn-Droid was just a legend.

Shark:
I knew it was real. I'm not as easily suckered into things as you are with your soft, little mind.

Rectangular Businessman:
Of course not. That's why you chose the shark.

Shark:
I have my reasons for that choice, but you seem to like the square.

Rectangular Businessman:
The square has 4 points, 4 rich and and interesting points full of wealth and ambition. You are merely roundish and soft-fleshed.

Shark:
I'm not getting into this with you again, and the animal chain is missing.

Rectangular Businessman:
[sarcastic] Well, way to hide it in most obvious place. Nice work. Didn't see that one coming.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Roostre and Spider go on a jetpack ride]

Roostre:
Man, Isn't this cool? Who else you know that has these jet packs? No one, man, nobody but your old buddy Roostre.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Shark opens his hidden stash from his lair and notices that his golden Skillet necklace is stolen]

Shark:
And stupid retard.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Shadowy Figure:
[warbling voice]

Peanut Cop:
What? I don't understand [chuckles] a thing you're saying, man. Do you have any idea what you sound like? "Blah blah blah blah." [wheezes] That's what you sound like in my head.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Peanut Cop:
[grabs beer on the floor] You're my liquor god.

[Peanut gets shots by a tranquilizer dart]

Peanut Cop:
Ow! Ohh...mmh! That...was...awesome.

[Peanut gets shot by another tranquilizer dart]

Peanut Cop:
Ow. Could I get a couple more of these, please? [laughs]

[Peanut Cop gets shot by several tranquilizer darts]

Peanut Cop:
I don't even see you, man, but thank you.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Peanut and Liquor finally went back to the Liquor Store]

Liquor:
Hey, I just came from here.

Peanut Cop:
You did? What, I did?

Liquor:
Yeah. You did.

Peanut Cop:
Ok. Look. I got to get something to wash down this beer with, my alcohol. [wheezes] If, uh, if something catches fire, I'm gonna be here in here, so don't call me. [wheezes] Or do. I don't-- Who cares? What am I gonna do about it?

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Green Sweatered Woman destroy a bone that Skillet threw]

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
Wow. Jumpy little whore.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Eye:
I thought you were my friend.

[Second Eye hits Eye]

Eye:
Ow. Right in the eye.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Woman:
Noooo! My baby! Oh, god! [grabs beer from her carriage] Oh, my baby.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Peanut Cop:
[to Liquor] You take the wheel, and I'm gonna sing the song. Ding-Dinga-Ding-Ding-Ding-Dinga-Ding-Ding.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Liquor:
Why are we stopping?

Peanut Cop:
Watch this.

[Peanut shoots the electric wires, electrifying the worker who was working on the utility pole]

Peanut Cop:
That's how I get jobs. [wheezes] BOOM! Ha Ha! Somebody better call me.

Liquor:
Are you drunk?

Peanut Cop:
You're not. [wheezes]

Liquor:
Maybe I should drive drunk. Ha Ha. It looks terrifying... [looks at the audience] to others.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[after Shark gets done dragging himself to his office with one of his fins]

Shark:
So, what's going on?

Rectangular Businessman:
We were just watching you slither across the floor like the begging, broken dog you are...bitch.

Shark:
I didn't ask you, did I?

Rectangular Businessman:
No. You didn't, but I answered.

Shark:
I'm trying to talk to the Clock, so if you could shh your way clear to shutting up...

Rectangular Businessman:
I told him about your little slideshow and about how boring your car is and about how dumb you are. In fact, you are the dumbest one I know.

Shark:
You're the one who put all the clothes in the closet like an idiot.

Rectangular Businessman:
That idea was genitoid. Even your mama liked it.

Shark:
You know, hanging out with you used to be fun. What happened to us?

[Clock disseapers]

Rectangular Businessman:
Hey, there he goes. Where do you think he's going?

Shark:
This isn't over. I'm gonna come up with something, and your square ass is gonna wish I didn't.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
Mm, this is some good meat. Haven't had meat like this since The Meat Wars -- Meat against Bone.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Rectangular Businessman:
[to Clock] And if you don't stop him, he's going to destroy this whole town. I should be the president. I am the best. We were on the same school bus, remember?

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Peanut Cop:
Dude check it out. Ha Ha! I'm a fireman.

Liquor:
Can I get a lift?

Peanut Cop:
Uh, ok. Which way am I going again?

Liquor:
You're going to Downton.

Peanut Cop:
[pauses] ...Is there a fire there?

Liquor:
You want there to be? There could be?

Peanut Cop:
Oh, then you better get in-- [laughs] because I don't know how to work any of this stuff.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

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