Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #144

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,772 quotes total — keep up the great work!

[Johnny taking a break through whipping tortures while listening to Stan on radio about truths of America]

Stan:
The Hollywood globalists are adding food coloring to all of the white foods. White mayonnaise is illegal in Los Angeles. It has to be brown by law. Brown coleslaw -- They're calling it "Sharia Slaw." Can you believe this? People, it's not racist to say we should eat white foods in America. And that's Stan's Stance. Back after the break. [music plays]

Eddie:
[to Johnny] Hey, I -- I -- I -- I -- I bet Sharia Slaw tastes just as good as the --

[Johnny whips Eddie]

Eddie:
AAH! AAH! AAH!

Dizzay:
Hey, Johnny? Does this thing get music?

[Johnny whips Dizzay]

Dizzay:
Damn, Johnny! It's my radio, man!

Johnny:
Don't.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Satan:
Where's the, uh, the creepy guy?

Claude:
Johnny?

Satan:
Yeah.

William:
He ain't here because of you making the bees gay.

Satan:
[pauses] ...What?

William:
He said, uh, you're working for Obama on his gay bee agenda and -- And you and him are lovers and -- And you got married in a secret ceremony.

Benji:
[happy] You didn't tell us.

Satan:
Okay, first of all, I am not married to Obama.

William:
He also said you're a Muslim.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Rectangular Businessman:
Oh, look, I'm back.

Shark:
Did you buy a harmonica?

Rectangular Businessman:
Did you get the car started?

Shark:
Did you get your harmonica started?

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Shark:
Ok, I'm just gonna barely touch the key. No, no, not yet. Now we'll just ease into it, to lightly rubbing the key with my fin. I'm just gonna barely touch the key. You won't even know I'm doing it. Just lightly caressing the key -- And START.

[engine sputtering]

Shark:
Come on, why are you not doing it? Come on. Come on.

[Shark's car suddenly runs out of gas]

Shark:
Perfect. That's great.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Shark:
[to his car] Please start.

[engine sputtering]

Shark:
You're making a fool of me.

[engine sputtering]

Shark:
I don't even know what I'm hearing.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Rectangular Businessman:
I don't even know how to play a harmonica.

Rectangular Businessman:
But I want one.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Rectangular Businessman:
I could afford to buy all these, but I just want one. The best one.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Shark:
[to his car] Come on. Come on. I know you want to. For the love of me, turn on.

[Shark's car starts to feel a bit of power]

Shark:
Alright, now -- Ok. Now we're close, I can feel that. This is it. This is the one.

[Shark's car starts to lose power again]

Shark:
[pissed] You barely piece of suck-ass car.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Rectangular Businessman:
I equate harmonicas with the blues, and -- The blues to the poor.

Rectangular Businessman:
But I still want one.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Shark:
[to his car] Come on. I know you want to. Start for me. I'm touching your little button.

[engine revving]

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Shark:
Alright. Ok. This is the one. This is the one. 50th time's a charm.

[engine sputtering]

Shark:
Would you please start, car?

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[continuing Shark revving up his car]

Rectangular Businessman:
I should have expected this from your poor ass.

Shark:
I'm trying to start the car.

[engine sputtering]

Shark:
Where are you going?

Rectangular Businessman:
To buy a harmonica. A very rich harmonica.

Shark:
Oh, so you're just gonna leave. Not cool.

Rectangular Businessman:
I just feel ever so inclined to buy a harmonica...made of gold, encrusted in diamonds, then dipped in gold, and rolled around in more diamonds. It's deadly to vampires, you know. Or is it werewolves? I forget which. They're both poor.

Shark:
You are not helping the situation.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Shark tries rev up his car to get it going again]

Shark:
Come on, baby. Come on, baby.

[engine sputtering]

Shark:
Yeah. Come on, baby. Crank it up.

[engine sputtering]

Shark:
Now, come on, baby. Why are you not doing it?

Rectangular Businessman:
I think this piece overheated.

Shark:
I think you should shut up.

Rectangular Businessman:
Keep trying. Maybe you'll get it this time.

Shark:
[to his car] Come on, sweetheart.

[engine sputtering]

Rectangular Businessman:
[wheezes] Oh, look, it didn't start again.

Shark:
[to his car] Come on, baby.

[engine sputtering]

Rectangular Businessman:
Your car sucks. Maybe if I, uh, throw money at it, it'll start.

Shark:
Yeah, uh, are you a mechanic? Because I'm not. But still, shut up.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Fitz heard some banging above the door bunker]

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
The music knows we're down here.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
There's enough guns down here to take out a town about -- Well, about this size.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Satan:
[to Goody] [chuckles] I gotta tell you again, I'm sorry, I guess I misjudged you.

Gary Bunda:
Yeah, you did. Literally misjudged him.

Goody Goody:
Gary, thank you for everything. No hard feelings.

Gary Bunda:
[shook hands] Good luck up there, big guy.

[Goody tries to eat Gary's hand]

Angel #3:
[shows by the elevator] Uh, is this Ignatius?

Satan:
Yep.

Angel #3:
Alright!

[Goody went inside with the angel]

Gary Bunda:
[to Angel #3] You're doomed.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Keith:
On the charge of eating meat on a Friday, we find the defendant...not guilty. But on the charge of eating people on a Thursday, yeah, he's definitely guilty.

Gary Bunda:
Thank you.

Satan:
Look, I don't want to legislate from the bench, but the Bible simply does not mention cannibalism as a sin.

Gary Bunda:
WHAT?

Satan:
But you're finding against the defendant?

Keith:
Yes. We find the defendant guilty.

[all of the torture jury people suddenly got their heads blown off by themselves turning into Satan]

Satan #2:
[clears throat] I'm sorry, I meant to say that we find the defendant not guilty.

Satan #3:
Not guilty.

Satan #4:
Not guilty.

Satan #5:
Not guilty.

Satan #6:
Not guilty.

Satan #2:
My bad.

All Cloned Satans:
Not Guilty. Not guilty. My bad.

Gary Bunda:
WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

Satan:
My hands are tied here. I have to find the defendant not guilty.

Gary Bunda:
WHY DID WE EVEN DO THIS?

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Satan:
Where's my prosecutor?

Troy:
I'm here.

[Troy comes back by sliding on the floor where half of his body is eaten from Goody]

Troy:
I would like to drop all charges against Goody Goody.

Gary Bunda:
What, he can't go to heaven -- He's a cannibal. He has no business in heaven. I agree with Troy.

Troy:
I agree with you, Gary.

Gary Bunda:
I'm agreeing with you.

Troy:
Shut up, Gary! Shut up!

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Goody sees someone using the bathroom]

Goody Goody:
I gotta go take a whiz.

Gary Bunda:
Just make sure not to eat anybody on the WAY TO THE BATHROOM!

[cuts to the next scene where before the court started, Goody came by, by having blood marks on his face after eating someone in the bathroom]

Gary Bunda:
[surprised] That was a joke. You couldn't get a napkin?

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[after Troy's response from the court]

Gary Bunda:
Troy? Really good news. I've been talking with my client, and I think I got him to agree to take the deal, so...

Troy:
You mean your client who testified that he helped the homeless? He helps the homeless alright, right into the oven. He's making a hobo chorizo.

[Troy shows a footage from his computer that shows Goody grinding a hobo in a meat grinder]

Gary Bunda:
[horrified] Oh, my god.

Gary Bunda:
What if we do a thing where, uh, he splits time between here and heaven? I'm just trying to save some face.

Troy:
Your client liked to save face, too -- In his freezer.

Gary Bunda:
I will see you in court. And I think that you will be very surprised at how many tricks I have left up my sleeves.

[cuts to the next scene where Gary just gives up sitting with Goody eating human meat before the court]

Gary Bunda:
I think we're all out of moves here. God help me. You're not Goody Goody. You're a Baddy Baddy.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Troy:
[clears throat] All that barbecue, Mm! That was some good-looking 'cue. All that barbecue.

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] Objection! Badgering my witness. You got nothing, and you know it, Troy.

Satan:
Overruled. Continue.

Troy:
Typically, a restaurant will have meat and three. Mm. [to Torture Jury #2] Did you have any sides with it?

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] Objection! This is a fishing exhibition. Collard greens are not on trial here.

Troy:
The video shows you had bean, coleslaw, and a...wait, what the hell is that? Is that a tube sock on the barbecue?

Goody Goody:
Eh, sometimes I like to put tube socks on the meat 'cause it seals in the juices.

Troy:
That looks like a wristwatch.

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] OBJECTION! Objection, that is meat thermometer. Is that a meat thermometer?

Troy:
Do turkey legs have fingernails?

Big N' Wide:
That's pretty messed up, man.

Satan:
Right?

Troy:
IT'S A PERSON! HE'S A CANNIBAL!

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Troy:
We're willing to cut you a deal. He'll spend six months in purgatory, but then he can go straight up to Heaven.

Gary Bunda:
Here's my counter. My client goes straight to Heaven, I get a written apology from Satan, and you eat my sh*t, Troy. We're out of here.

Troy:
Okay, that's fine. We'll give you -- We'll give you everything but the last part.

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] Oh, that's tougher than titties on a turtle, Troy, because the window is closed on that deal.

Goody Goody:
No. Because, you see, he's giving us everything.

Gary Bunda:
[normal voice] I think I know what I'm doing.

Troy:
I'll eat -- I'll eat one turd.

Gary Bunda:
[angrily concern] He's bluffing.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[the trial continues]

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] Three broken ribs. He ran for three and a half miles across to Hudspeth County with two hands filled with wet, saucy barbecue. Now, I want you to freeze the frame here. Let's freeze the tape of that. Freeze-frame. Enhance, enhance, enhance.

Troy:
Thank you. 12:57! That's what I was saying -- After midnight on Friday.

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] Any man's mistake. Hudspeth County is actually the only county in Texas in the Mountain Time Zone. Now, I'm a simple man. People would say I'm a stupid man. But it seems to me that Goody ran from Central to Mountain. So I submit to you...it was not 12:57 on a Friday morning, it was 11:57 on a Thursday evening. No further questions. YEAH! WHOO! All y'all doubted me.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] I'd like to submit this next video as evidence to the court. Footage of Goody at the back of his restaurant. Now, would you walk me through this?

Goody Goody:
I'd spent the day serving food to the homeless.

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] And something like that's gotta make a man hungry. Mm, just looking at that 'cue like a big, wet, brown butt. Just want to put your face in it.

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] Now, why don't you just walk over there and just take a hunk off of that beef and put it in your mouth?

Goody Goody:
Because it was 10 minutes after midnight, Friday morning.

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] So what did you do with the meat?

Goody Goody:
Well, I loaded it up in my truck, and I drove west.

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] You were tired, you were hungry, and you were distracted by the waves of odor coming off the flesh, just steaming that windshield, weren't you?

Goody Goody:
Yes, sir. The meat looked so good, I guess I just took my eyes off the road.

Gary Bunda:
[imitating tires squealing] Ooh.

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] Well, why don't -- Why don't you just reach over, and you could have had the barbecue then.

Goody Goody:
No.

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] I'm sure that Jesus would have forgiven you.

Goody Goody:
No, sir. No sir! I would never do that. I grabbed as much of it as I could hold, and I tried to run west.

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] And if it pleases the court, I've got two fistfuls of pork from pork circle. Mr. Goody Goody, would you say you ran something like this?

[Gary imitates Goody acting like a running maniac holding two porks up in the air]

Troy:
OBJECTION! No one is questioning his ability to run with meat in his hands!

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] I've got pork! Oh, I got pork, I got pork!

Satan:
I will allow it. It is highly entertaining.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

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