NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service

NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service

NCIS is an American action police procedural television series, revolving around a fictional team of special agents from the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, which investigates crimes involving the U.S. Navy and Marine Corps.

Year:
2003
9,707 Views

Agent Caitlin Todd:
These are the last two people to have seen the Staff Sergeant alive: his best friend, and his wife. Do you think that either or both of them could have murdered the staff sergeant?

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
Well, it is kind of weird, a single guy hanging out with a married couple.

Special Agent Timothy McGee:
I agree.

Agent Caitlin Todd:
Why is that weird?

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
Well, because he's a single guy who hangs out with married people.

Agent Caitlin Todd:
I do that all the time.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
Yeah, but you bring a date, right?

Agent Caitlin Todd:
Not always.

[Tony and McGee trade a look]

Agent Caitlin Todd:
What?

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
Well, who usually invites you?

Special Agent Timothy McGee:
The man or the woman?

Agent Caitlin Todd:
I don't know... I guess, usually the guy.

[Another look]

Agent Caitlin Todd:
Okay, for your information, a lot of my friends are from the Secret Service, and most of them happen to be men.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
Well, what about your girlfriend who called you yesterday?

Agent Caitlin Todd:
Well, Deb is married to one of my buddies, Rick.

[Tony and McGee start to snicker]

Agent Caitlin Todd:
Okay, so what you're saying is that all of my married, male friends secretly want to sleep with me.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
Pretty much.

Agent Caitlin Todd:
That's very mature, Tony. And for your information, men and women *can* just be friends. Isn't that right, McGee?

Special Agent Timothy McGee:
Technically.

Agent Caitlin Todd:
What do you mean, "technically?"

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
He means, she'd have to be pretty ugly first.

Special Agent Timothy McGee:
[as he and Tony both crack up laughing] Wait, wait, I didn't say that...

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs:
We know that nine parachutes were rigged to fail. The killer doctored them and repacked them. Sergeant Fuentes died as a result of that. That's premeditated murder.

Lt. Bud Roberts:
I'm sold. Hey, If I'm on the jury, you got my vote.

Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd:
We found DNA evidence on the chute deployment bag knots.

Lt. Bud Roberts:
Belonging to your suspect?

Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd:
We believe so. To be certain, we have to access the Armed Forces Registry.

Lt. Bud Roberts:
That's impossible. The registry was set up to identify remains only.

[nods towards Gibbs]

Lt. Bud Roberts:
He knows that.

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs:
[playing dumb] I do?

Lt. Bud Roberts:
He tried to use it when he went after Commander Rabb for murder.

Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd:
He get him?

Lt. Bud Roberts:
No, because he wasn't guilty. You couldn't use the DNA registry then, what makes you think you can use it now?

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs:
You, Lieutenant. You're a smart lawyer, and you know the law.

Lt. Bud Roberts:
I know why I'm here.

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs:
Well, I hope you do. I requested you.

Lt. Bud Roberts:
Yeah, you requested me because you think you can work me, like you did last time when I ratted out Commander Rabb.

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs:
You did not rat on anyone. You told the truth.

[Gibbs scratches at the shoulder of Bud's jacket]

Lt. Bud Roberts:
I, uh, gave my uniform an extra lint roll this morning, Agent Gibbs. And you waltzing around in my blind spot? Not going to intimidate me this time.

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs:
We're at twenty-four hours now. And soon it's going to be forty-eight. You've done investigations, you know what that means.

Lt. Bud Roberts:
I've done JAGman investigations, sure. At forty-eight hours, your evidence begins to degrade, disappear. Witnesses change their stories, suspects improve theirs. I... I know.

Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd:
So help us.

Lt. Bud Roberts:
No! Hey, you... you're not going to get me to lawyer you past an iron-clad prohibition that prevents tapping into DNA records that were designed to identify bodies, not chase suspects.

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs:
This guy is guilty. He killed him. Let him drop to his death from thirteen hundred feet.

Lt. Bud Roberts:
It doesn't matter.

Special Agent Timothy McGee:
It was his!

Ziva David:
What was?

Special Agent Timothy McGee:
The pack. It didn't belong to either of the Tillmans, it belonged to Sayers.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
He built his own jet pack?

Special Agent Timothy McGee:
The pack uses fighter jet engineering. That's the missing piece. Sayers ripped off the technology from both of the Tillmans and...

Ziva David:
He borrowed from the Navy, as well, to build his own version, which used the best of all three.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
But it crashed.

Ziva David:
So, it was not very good.

Special Agent Timothy McGee:
That was the intention. The intention was to crash. To dispose of the body where it wouldn't be discovered.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
It was pretty far off the beaten path.

Special Agent Timothy McGee:
Any decent pilot could have flown it.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
How about a great pilot? Sheridan wanted the job with Tillman. Petitioned the Navy for it.

Ziva David:
But Sayers took that, then picked up a second one.

Special Agent Timothy McGee:
Sheridan loses out twice, probably doesn't respond well to that.

Ziva David:
Gonna pull the squadron's psych profiles.

Special Agent Timothy McGee:
Let's double check their paperwork, scan their files for engineering backgrounds. Need to talk to Gibbs.

[McGee looks around and notices Gibbs isn't at his desk]

Special Agent Timothy McGee:
Where is Gibbs?

[Tony, smirking, points his desk phone]

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs:
[on speaker] Right here, Elf Lord.

NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
[in the bathroom, Ziva sneaks up behind him] How long you been standing there?

Ziva David, Former Mossad Liaison:
Long enough to see you are well hydrated after your time in the desert.

NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
Sneaking behind, surprising me?

Ziva David, Former Mossad Liaison:
I was not sure what to say.

NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
[washing hands] Though your sure it had to be said in the men's room.

Ziva David, Former Mossad Liaison:
I'm sure it had to be said... When you shot Michael, I almost killed you where you stood.

NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
I wasn't standing.

Ziva David, Former Mossad Liaison:
No, you weren't. You were lying on the ground, without adequate backup, completely violating protocal...

NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
And double parked.

Ziva David, Former Mossad Liaison:
Yes, I noticed... But that does not matter. Just like it doesn't matter how it turned out for Michael.

NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
Then what does?

Ziva David, Former Mossad Liaison:
[puts her hand on Tony's hand] That you have had my back. That you have always had my back. And that I was wrong... to question your motives.

NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
So why did you?

Ziva David, Former Mossad Liaison:
I trusted my brother Ari. I trusted Michael. I could not afford to trust you.

NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
I thought you weren't sure what to say.

Ziva David, Former Mossad Liaison:
Guess I had a long time to think about... things.

NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
[short pause] I'm sorry, Ziva.

Ziva David, Former Mossad Liaison:
No... It is I who am sorry.

Ziva David, Former Mossad Liaison:
[kisses Tony] Your instincts were right. You were a cop and I never should've faulted you for thinking...

NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
[grabs Ziva] I'm a cop... I think like a cop [brings Ziva closer to him] Genius.

Gibbs:
[entering the NCIS morgue to meet with the terrorist Ari Haswari, opens a body bag containing Marta's body, one of Ari's partners] She was beautiful.

Ari Haswari:
Very.

Gibbs:
[noticing that Ari is unmoved] Did you make love to her and then blow her brains out?

Ari Haswari:
She would do the same to me.

Gibbs:
Why do you do this?

Ari Haswari:
The same reason you do.

Gibbs:
I don't think so.

Ari Haswari:
Then you're lying to yourself.

Gibbs:
What now? You go back to the Middle East? Tell them that Marta was Mossad and she blew the op?

Ari Haswari:
Yes.

Gibbs:
Two out failures in a row. I'd axe your ass if you worked for me.

Ari Haswari:
People who blow themselves apart to kill their enemies have lower expectations.

Gibbs:
How do you sell Marta as a double agent?

Ari Haswari:
My men the FBI permitted to escape, they know the effort I put into this operation, buying Smokey Sams, kidnapping Agent Todd so I could identify Marine 1, and when they search Marta's apartment they will find money and documents traceable to Mossad. Hamas will believe me. Al Quaeda is more wary.

Gibbs:
They don't believe you, you're dead.

Ari Haswari:
Yes. And if they do I may learn what they plan as the next 9/11. Would you risk losing that opportunity over pride?

Gibbs:
[wanting revenge] It's not pride.

Ari Haswari:
If not pride then what? Love of country? Sense of duty? I'm sure they exist in you, but what burns is pride my friend. Shalom.

Gibbs:
[as Ari leaves Gibbs shoots him point blank in the shoulder, just as Ari did with Gerald earlier] Just wanted to help you convince Al Quaeda.

[Gibbs leaves calmly while Ari laughs at Gibbs resolve]

Timothy McGee:
Okay, the dead guy downstairs who we thought was impersonating Petty Officer Jerry Smith is actually the real Petty Officer Jerry Smith. And the Jerry Smith Tony and Ziva talked to in Norfolk turns out to be the fake Jerry Smith, and it's confusing.

Agent Anthony 'Tony' DiNozzo:
Kind of like "the pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle"?

[no reaction]

Agent Anthony 'Tony' DiNozzo:
"The chalice from the palace has the brew that is true"?

[again, no reaction]

Agent Anthony 'Tony' DiNozzo:
"Court Jester"? Danny Kaye? Come on, guys. It's a classic.

[Gibbs thumps Tony on the forehead]

Agent Anthony 'Tony' DiNozzo:
Thank you, boss.

Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs:
Who is he, McGee?

Timothy McGee:
John Kirby. We lifted his prints from his desk at Norfolk.

Agent Anthony 'Tony' DiNozzo:
His empty desk. He didn't report for duty today.

Timothy McGee:
He and Smith had overlapping tours at Jacksonville in '02. Kirby was discharged in '03.

Agent Anthony 'Tony' DiNozzo:
Honorably.

Timothy McGee:
Boss, these guys must have had this planned from the first day of Smith's new assignment.

Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs:
You think so, McGee? I'm gonna need Kirby's

Timothy McGee:
Address. He lives on West Little Creek. Been there about a year. And the warrant.

Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs:
DiNozzo, David, take a ride.

Agent Anthony 'Tony' DiNozzo:
You got it, boss.

Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs:
Get a BOLO out on Kirby with the FBI, local, and state.

Timothy McGee:
Already done, boss.

Special Agent Ziva David:
"BOLO"?

Agent Anthony 'Tony' DiNozzo:
"Be on the lookout."

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
[entering the bullpen] Ziva?

Officer Ziva David:
Shh!

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
That's a movie. Not just any movie. That's "Double Indemnity."

Officer Ziva David:
Tony, your power of observation is unearthly. Now leave me alone. This is the best part.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
Not going to get between a chick and her flick. How do you know it's the best part?

Officer Ziva David:
Because it is the third time I have seen it.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
You don't even watch movies.

Officer Ziva David:
This is not a movie. It's a classic *film*.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
Yeah, I know that. You don't know that.

[Ziva holds up a pamphlet]

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
Film studies? Wow. I really appreciate that, Ziva. Really, I do.

Officer Ziva David:
I am taking it because it is the best way to pick up American colloquialism, like "bug off."

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
You should watch "Fast Times at Ridgemont High."

Officer Ziva David:
I saw it last week. Sean Penn is a genius. Phoebe Cates is a babe. Now... do you mind?

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
I can get you a list...

Officer Ziva David:
I have a list! Bye.

[McGee enters, holding an exaggeratedly large coffee mug]

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
Oh. Morning, Probie Pan. Where'd you pick that up? Neverland?

Special Agent Timothy McGee:
Uh, no. Pottery Den. Fifty percent off. Got six of them for ten dollars.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
That's pretty big, don't you think?

Special Agent Timothy McGee:
Well, I don't like getting refills ten times a day.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
Well, but I mean, that's a little...

Special Agent Timothy McGee:
A little what?

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo:
[laughing to himself] Seuss-ical?

Special Agent Timothy McGee:
Leave. I'm enjoying my moment.


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