Wikidude's Quotes Page #5,444

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude — There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Howard: Hey! Who told you you could take Number 1?! Crosby: Howard, logically, if we need protection from Number 5, this is the best weapon we could have. Howard: Great. Great! So, instead of $11,000,000 on the loose, we're gonna have 22. Ben: And plus, we are needing gas money. – Short Circuit Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Howard: I got a phone call from that loony in the lunch wagon. She wants to see you. Only you. Crosby: She does? Ben: Oh, her pants are blazing for you, Newton Crosby! Crosby: Will you grow up?! – Short Circuit Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Dreyfus: [answers phone] Commissioner Dreyfus... Ah, yes, my darling... I was just about to call you. I'm on my way. I've got the cheese and the beaujolais... What? [laughs] ... My love. Kiss the children for me, hmm? [intercom buzzes] Dreyfus: Hold on. [covers phone mouthpiece; answers intercom] Yes? Intercom: Your wife is on the other line. Dreyfus: Tell her I'm out of town. – A Shot in the Dark Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Françios: I made a terrible mistake. Dreyfus: Who did you assign to the case? Françios: Clouseau. Dreyfus: Oh, my God. – A Shot in the Dark Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Dreyfus: [chuckles and whimpers] He released her again, and he's taking her out to dinner to dinner. Every paper in Paris has the story, including the Christian Science Monitor, and he gave them the story! You see, he claims she's protecting her lover, and the best way to force him into the open is to make him jealous. Jealous! That nincompoop! That megalomaniac! He's setting the science of criminal investigation back a thousand years, and I can't do anything about it! Psychoanalyst: Why not? Dreyfus: Why not? What if he's right? – A Shot in the Dark Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Maria Gambrelli: You should get out of these clothes immediately! You'll catch your death of pneumonia, you will. Clouseau: Yes, I suppose I probably will. But it's all part of life's rich pageant, you know. – A Shot in the Dark Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Clouseau: Listen to me, Hercule, and you will learn something. Now then, the facts in this case are: the body of the chauffeur was found in the bedroom of the second maid. Fact! Cause of death: Four bullets in the chest. Fact! The bullets were fired at close range from a .25 caliber Beretta automatic. Fact! Maria Gambrelli was discovered with the murder weapon in her hand. Fact! The murder weapon was registered in the name of the deceased, Miguel Ostos, and was kept, mind you, in the glove compartment of the Ballon Rolls-Royce. Fact! Now then, members of the household staff have testified that Miguel Ostos beat... [snaps his pointing stick] You fool! You have broken my pointing stick! I have nothing to point with now!... have testified that Miguel Ostos beat Maria Gambrelli frequently. And now, finally comes the sworn statement of Monsieur and Madame Ballon, as well as all the members of the staff, each of them with perfect alibis. Now then, Hercule, What is the inescapable conclusion? Hercule LaJoy: Maria Gambrelli killed the chauffeur. Clouseau: What? You idiot! It's impossible. She's protecting someone. Hercule LaJoy: How do you know that? Clouseau: Instinct! Hercule LaJoy: But the facts... Clouseau: You are forgetting the most important fact - motive. Hercule LaJoy: He beat her. Clouseau: He was Spanish! Hercule LaJoy: He tore her dress off. Clouseau: Oh, don't be ridiculous. Would you kill someone who tore your dress off? Hercule LaJoy: No, I suppose not. Clouseau: No, of course not! No, no. No, there is no doubt in my mind, whatsoever, Hercule. Maria Gambrelli is most definitely protecting somebody. Find that somebody, and you have found the murderer. And I shall find the murderer before the day is out. Maria Gambrelli will tell me who he is. Oh, yes. – A Shot in the Dark Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Clouseau: Facts, Hercule, facts, behind them lays the whole fabric of deductive truth. Now, Hercule let us examine these facts: One... [holding up one finger] She was found with the murder weapon in her hand, Two... [holding up three fingers] The murder weapon was fresh with blood, Three... [holding up four fingers] There were no fingerprints on the murder weapon other then hers and Four... [holding up all five fingers] All the members of the Ballon household staff have perfect alibis. Now then, Hercule what do these facts add up to? Hercule LaJoy: Maria Gambrelli killed Georges the gardener. Clouseau: You are an idiot, only a fresh faced novice would come up with a conclusion like that. Hercule LaJoy: But the facts... Clouseau: Listen, whoever killed Miguel, killed Georges the gardener and he did it to cover up the first crime. Now, what he is trying to do is lay the blame at the foot of this, this poor servant girl. Hercule LaJoy: Well, who do you suspect? Clouseau: I suspect everyone. Hercule LaJoy: Well... I suppose that is possible. Clouseau: Possible? What do you mean possible? I deal in certainties. – A Shot in the Dark Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[Shrek sneaks up on a mob about to enter his swamp] First villager: Think it's in there? All right, LET'S GET IT! Second villager: Whoa, Hold on! Do you know what that thing could do to you? Third villager: Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread! Shrek: [laughs, exposing himself] Yes. Well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres… oh, they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin! They'll shave your liver, squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast. Third villager: [waves his torch in front of Shrek] Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! [Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch like a match] [he smiles nervously] Right. [silence] Shrek: [roars ferociously] [he waits until the villagers have stopped screaming] [whispers] This is the part where you run away. [the villagers gasp and do so] [laughs] And stay out! [looks down at a sign] “Wanted: Fairy tale creatures.” [sighs] – Shrek Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Old Lady: [moves Donkey's lips] I can talk. I love to talk! I'm the talkin'est damn thing you ever saw. Captain: [annoyed] Get her outta my sight. – Shrek Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Shrek: [to Donkey] WHY...are you following me? Donkey: I'll tell you why. [sings] 'Cause I'm all alone. There's no one here beside me. My problems have all gone. There's no one to deride me! But ya gotta have friends! Shrek: Stop singing! Well, it's no wonder you don't have any friends. Donkey: Wow! Only a true friend would be that truly honest. Shrek: Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me, what am I? Donkey: Uh... [looks Shrek up and down] Really tall? Shrek: No! I'm an ogre! You know, "Grab your torch and pitchforks!" Doesn't that bother you? Donkey: [shakes his head happily] Nope. Shrek: [surprised] Really? Donkey: Really really. – Shrek Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Donkey: [eyes the KEEP OUT signs surrounding Shrek's home] I guess you don't, uh, entertain much, do you? Shrek: I like my privacy. Donkey: Y'know, I do too! That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you try to give 'em a hint, they won't leave, and then there's that big awkward silence, you know... [silence ensues] ...Can I stay with you? Shrek: Uh, What? Donkey: Can I stay with you... please? Shrek: Of course! Donkey: Really? Shrek: No. Donkey: Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak! [slight pause; Shrek gives Donkey a look] Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together! You gotta let me stay! Please, please! Shrek: Okay! Okay. But one night only. – Shrek Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Donkey: This is gonna be fun. We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin', I'm makin' waffles! Shrek: Ohh! Donkey: Where do, uh, I sleep? Shrek: OUTSIDE! – Shrek Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Lord Farquaad: [sees Thelonius dunking the gingerbread man in milk] That's enough! He's ready to talk. [puts him down; Farquaad laughs, then signals for the table to lower] Run, run, run, as you fast as you can; you can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man! Gingy: You're a monster. Lord Farquaad: I'm not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the others?! Gingy: Eat me! [spits at Farquaad] Lord Farquaad: [grunts] I've tried to be fair with you creatures, but now my patience has reached its end! Tell me, or I'll-- [he reaches to pull off one of Gingy's buttons] Gingy: No! Not the buttons! Not the gumdrop buttons! Lord Farquaad: All right, then, who's hiding them?! Gingy: Okay! I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man? Lord Farquaad: The muffin man? Gingy: The muffin man. Lord Farquaad: Yes. I know the muffin man. Who-- Who lives on Drury Lane? Gingy: Well, she's married to the muffin man. Lord Farquaad: The muffin man?! Gingy: THE MUFFIN MAN! Lord Farquaad: She's married to the muffin man. – Shrek Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Donkey: Don't you worry, I will always be here to make sure no one bothers you. Shrek: Donkey. Donkey: Yes, roomy? Shrek: You're bothering me. – Shrek 2 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Donkey: Royal ball? Can I come? Shrek: We're not going. Fiona and Donkey: What? Shrek: I mean, don't you think they might be a bit shocked to see you like this? Fiona: Well, they might be a bit surprised. But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. And don't worry. They'll love you, too. Shrek: Yeah, right. Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club. Fiona: Stop it. They're not like that. Shrek: How do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band? – Shrek 2 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Donkey: Are we there yet? Shrek: No. Donkey: Are we there yet? Fiona: Not yet. Donkey: Okay. Are we there yet? Fiona: No. Donkey: Are we there yet? Shrek: No! Donkey: Are we there YET? Shrek: Yes. Donkey: Really? Shrek: NO! Donkey: Are we there yet?! Fiona: No! Donkey: Are we there YET?! Shrek: No, we are not! Donkey: ARE WE THERE YET?!?! Shrek and Fiona: NO!!!!!! [Pause] Donkey: Are we there yet? Shrek: [mimicking Donkey] Are we there yet? Donkey: Hey, that's not funny. Shrek: Hey, that's not funny. Donkey: Oh, that's really immature! Shrek: Oh, that's really immature! Donkey: See, this is why nobody likes ogres! Shrek: See, this is why nobody likes ogres! Donkey: All right, your loss! Shrek: All right, your loss. Donkey: I'm just gonna stop talking! Shrek: Finally! Donkey: But this is takin' forever, Shrek, and ain't no in-flight movie or nothin'! Shrek: The kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey. That's where we're going. Far, far... (softly) away. Donkey: All right, all right. I get it! I'm just so darn bored! Shrek: Well, find a way to entertain yourself. [silence] [Donkey pops his lips, then again, and Shrek grows more impatient, then Donkey pops his lips a third time] Shrek: [restrains temper] Oh! For five minutes... could you not be yourself? [loudly] FOR FIVE MINUTES!!! [after another moment of silence, Donkey pops his lips one last time] Shrek: AAAARGH!!!!!! ARE WE THERE YET?!?! Fiona: Yes! Donkey: Oh, finally! – Shrek 2 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Fiona: [lets out a loud belch that interrupts a conversation] Oh! Excuse me. Shrek: Better out than in, I always say. Eh, Fiona? – Shrek 2 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Harold: Charming! Is that you? My gosh, it's been years! When did you get back? Charming: [irritated] Oh, about 5 minutes ago, actually. [Raised tone] After I endured blistering winds, scorching desert, I climbed to the highest room of the tallest tower– [cut off by his mother] Fairy Godmother: Tut, tut, tut. Mummy can handle this. [to King Harold, using the same hostile tone Charming used earlier] He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower, and what does he find?! Some gender-confused wolf telling him that his princess is already married! – Shrek 2 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Shrek/Donkey: [singing] ? Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall. All you've got to do is call. And I'll be there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got a friend. ? – Shrek Forever After Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[As Rumpelstiltskin angrily scrunches up a page from a library book about Shrek] Pinocchio: Uh, sir? You’re gonna have to pay for that. Rumpelstiltskin: Uh... M-m-maybe we can make a deal for it, little boy? Pinocchio: Oh, I'm not a real boy. Rumpelstiltskin: [looking devious] Do you wanna be? [Cut to Pinocchio kicking him out] Pinocchio: NOBODY NEEDS YOUR DEALS ANYMORE, GRUMPEL STINKYPANTS! Rumpelstiltskin: [coughs as he gets up, then picks up the ripped-out page and looks at it angrily] I wish that ogre was never born! – Shrek Forever After Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Daph: Better start making sense ya dirty little man! Rumpel: Here let me spell it out for ya. You gave me a day from your past a day you wouldn't even remember a day when you were an innocent, mindless, little baby Shrek: You took the day I was born. Rumpelstiltskin: No, Shrek, you gave it to me. Tigger: Enjoy this while ya can Grumpel cuz when this day is up Rumpel: But you guys haven't heard the best part Since you were never born once this day comes to an end so will you Shrek: Where is Fiona? Where's my famiy?! Rumpel: Silly little ogre you don't get it do ya? You were never born you never met Fiona your kids don't exist! – Shrek Forever After Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Puss: Come on, Donkey, ¡Vamonos! Donkey: Man, you are a 'cat-tastrophe'. Puss: And you, are 'ri-donkey-lous'. [Both laugh] – Shrek Forever After Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Donkey: ? Just thinkin' about tomorrow Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow 'Til there's none When I'm stuck with the day, that's grey, and lonely. Shrek [awakens to hear Donkey singing outside the cage wagon] Donkey, stop with the singing, will you? Donkey: ? I just stick out my chin, and grin, and say... ? Shrek: Donkey! [getting up, he bumps his head] Ow! Donkey: ? Oh, the sun will come out tomorrow So you gotta hang on until tomorrow Come with me…tomorrow! Tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow! ? Shrek: Donkey, where am I? What's happening? Onboard Witch: Quiet down there! Oh, I hate this song. [She pulls out a whip, whipping Donkey, stopping him for a second, then he resumes] Donkey: ? But I made up my mind. Oh... I'm keepin' my baby. Ooh... ? Driver Witch: Uh, I'm driving, so… [She takes the whip] ...I'm in charge of the music. [She whips him] Donkey: Hey! Will you witches make up your mind, please? [She whips him again] Ow! ? No matter what they take from me... Witches: ? …they can't take away my dignity ? Shrek: Psst! Donkey, what's going on? Do you know where Fiona is? Donkey: Shh! Quiet, ogre! You're gonna get me in trouble and I need this job, so I am not going back to work for Old MacDonald. Tell me to E-I-E-I-O. E-I-E-I-No! That's what I said. Shrek: Where are my babies? And where's your wife, Dragon? Donkey: Look, ogre, I think you have me confused with some other talking donkey. I’ve never seen you before in my life. Shrek: Never seen me before? Come on, Donkey! Donkey: And how do you know my name anyway? Shrek: It’s me, Shrek. Your best friend? Donkey: A donkey and an ogre friends? That’s the most ridiculous thing I ever heard! Shrek: Can you at least tell me where they’re taking me? Donkey: To the same place they take every ogre. To Rumpelstiltskin. Shrek: Stiltskin! – Shrek Forever After Movie Quote	added 5 years ago

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