Wikidude's Quotes Page #236

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[The trio are departing a petrol station, having pulled in to clean up after Top Gear Dog] Jeremy: The dog's not gonna be sick again, is it? The smell's not good. Richard: No, I don't... I just don't want to... [There is a loud crashing sound, and the car suddenly jerks to a halt] Jeremy: What the hell?! Richard: That's bad. [James gets out, followed by Jeremy and Richard, and they see that the caravan has crashed into a metal bollard] Jeremy: You...! Richard: It's pretty poor, mate. It's pretty poor. Jeremy: Caravanning, James. Something you were looking forward to. Richard: Well, let's watch it come off. [James gets in the car, and starts reversing, causing even more damage to the caravan] Back. SLOWLY! SLOWLY! Back! Jeremy: [voiceover] Our caravanning trip wasn't going well. In fact, it was even starting to strain the bonds of our friendship. ["James May mobile number 07848 687959" appears on the screen at the back of the caravan] – Top Gear, Series 8 Show Quote	added 9 months ago
Jeremy: [voiceover] So we weren't looking forward to our holiday and if I'm honest we weren't enjoying the journey that much either. James: We've done fifty-two miles. Richard: That's it? James: Yeah. Jeremy: We've been on the road for three and a quarter hours and you've done fifty-two miles? You had my hand up. James: No, you put your hand next to the gear stick, I've got to change gear. Jeremy: There's no way... Richard: [interrupting] STOP FIGHTING IN THE FRONT! We've got a long way to go! Jeremy: [voiceover] It was getting claustrophobic in the Kia, but because we were caravanning, we could do what caravanners do: pull over at the side of the road and have a spot of lunch. [cut to the trio eating lunch at the side of the motorway] Jeremy: [sarcastically] Tell you what, this is peaceful! Richard: [to Jeremy] Pork pie? Jeremy: What? Richard: PORK PIE! – Top Gear, Series 8 Show Quote	added 9 months ago
Richard: I don't know if I've mentioned this but the parcel shelf in this, is made out of pineapples. Don't know if that'll help. – Top Gear, Series 8 Show Quote	added 9 months ago
[on the dashboard of the Volkswagen Fox] Richard: It must take more work to make something look, this boring! And the plastic [taps dashboard], well you know that stuff holds your chocolates in place in a box of Milk Tray? [gestures to dashboard] Yeah. – Top Gear, Series 8 Show Quote	added 9 months ago
[after Richard loses the car vs. jet-powered kayak challenge] Jeremy: Very important message there...somewhere. Anyway, it's time to move on... – Top Gear, Series 8 Show Quote	added 9 months ago
Richard: [to Clarkson] You've done this before, anyway. Jeremy: Yes I have. It didn't go well. Richard: How "not well"? Jeremy: Well, I took the roof off and then the whole car split in half. Richard: Y'see, that's very "not well" indeed. – Top Gear, Series 8 Show Quote	added 9 months ago
[During the parking challenge in Marlborough] Jeremy: [voiceover] Then it was James' turn and because his Lambo was very long and very hard to see out of, we waited for him to go and fetch it, and then...helped him out a little bit. [Richard sees Jeremy moving one of the cars, so the parking space is significantly shorter] Richard: You evil man! That's brilliant! That's genius! – Top Gear, Series 7 Show Quote	added 9 months ago
James: [on a Mercedes styled to look like a fish] It's been out on an industrial state in Surrey, where's it's done ten miles an hour! – Top Gear, Series 7 Show Quote	added 9 months ago
Jeremy: [on the Ford F150] So, there are several small reasons why we don't need a pick-up like this and then there's the main one: it's rubbish. – Top Gear, Series 6 Show Quote	added 9 months ago
[on the Mercedes SLK-55] Jeremy: Come on automatic gearbox, WAKE UP! – Top Gear, Series 6 Show Quote	added 9 months ago
[on the Peugeot 407] Jeremy: Looks good but no, it'll fall to pieces. Made by people who eat onions! – Top Gear, Series 6 Show Quote	added 9 months ago
[The trio have chained themselves to a bus, in a mock eco protest] James: What do we want? Jeremy: A Range Rover! James: When do we want it? Richard: As soon as we can arrange easy financing! – Top Gear, Series 6 Show Quote	added 9 months ago
[on the Cadillac Escalade] Richard: [voiceover] American cars usually have pretty rubbish interiors, and inside the Escalade's, it's business as usual. Look [taps dashboard], they've just cut a wheelie bin to make that bit. It's all one lump of plastic. [voiceover] In American you can buy one of these motorized shopping malls for 28,000 pounds. But as is the way with these things, by the time it gets over here with some toys on it and the forms filled out, it's 50,000 pounds. – Top Gear, Series 4 Show Quote	added 9 months ago
[On The Stig] Jeremy: Some say that last week he won a BAFTA for ‘Best Original Smell’, and that when he dies he thinks he’ll go to Devon. All we know is he’s called the Stig! – Top Gear, Series 22 Show Quote	added 9 months ago
[On a right-hand drive Ford Mustang trying too hard to appear British] Jeremy: So that realistically should be called, now that it's coming here, the 'Ford Bloody Quid Mate'. – Top Gear, Series 22 Show Quote	added 9 months ago
[During the opening sequence] Jeremy: Tonight, the new Porsche Cayman on our track, the Ferrari LaFerrari at the limit in Italy Italy, and an old Peugeot goes past some goats. – Top Gear, Series 22 Show Quote	added 9 months ago
[On The Stig] Jeremy: Some say that his favourite flower is the potato, and that even though he’s seen Fifty Shades of Grey he still thinks BDSM is a driving school. All we know is he’s called the Stig! – Top Gear, Series 22 Show Quote	added 9 months ago
[discussing the Renault Mégane CC and the Peugeot 307 CC] Richard: [voiceover] So just why are these cars so modern-Britain? Well, for one thing, they are achingly fashionable, inside and out, with designer touches everywhere. Richard: Look at that: the brushed aluminium on matte black effect. That's perfection to a bloke, that is. I'd have all my clothes in brushed aluminium on matte black if I could. – Top Gear, Series 3 Show Quote	added 9 months ago
Richard: [on the CityRover] At 6,900 pounds it is too expensive, particularly as, well it's rubbish. – Top Gear, Series 3 Show Quote	added 9 months ago
[on the Peugeot 206 GTi] Jeremy: It manages to be so heavy when it's made out of spit and Kleenex. – Top Gear, Series 3 Show Quote	added 9 months ago
Richard: "Porsche 924 owner"... got it in first... "good looking, mild mannered, snappy dresser, 5'11".." Jeremy: Whaat?! "Five foot eleven"? James: "Mild mannered"? Richard: It's a Lonely Hearts ad! If I put "angry short bloke," I won't get any replies! – Top Gear, Series 5 Show Quote	added 9 months ago
[the presenters have been told to write personal ads mentioning their cars, with points awarded for each reply] James: "41-year-old man with sensitive hair" [May is interrupted at this point by Clarkson and the audience's reaction but resumes] "drives Porsche 944 luxe, seeks brewery heiress or similar, must have liberal attitude to motorcycle components in the bath." – Top Gear, Series 5 Show Quote	added 9 months ago
[on Cadillac's decision not to sell their new CTS in Britain] Richard: That's not really surprising because the last Cadillac to be in the United Kingdom, was the STS. And that was rubbish. And I do mean, rubbish. [voiceover] It handled and looked like a pig, there was no reason for that car to be sale in Great Britain at all. – Top Gear, Series 4 Show Quote	added 9 months ago
Jeremy: My ad: "Porsche 928 driver — that's the V8 one"... Richard: Did you actually put, "that's the V8 one"? Jeremy: Yes, right there, "that's the V8 one". Richard: You actually did, ah. Jeremy: "Tall, slim hips, likes books with speedboats on the cover, would like to meet someone for friendship, maybe more." Richard: Can I just point out: do you know where he put that ad? He put that in the "Men Seeking Men" column. [laughter] – Top Gear, Series 5 Show Quote	added 9 months ago

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