Wikidude's Quotes Page #236

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Paul Heyman:
Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Paul Heyman's SmackDown!. [crowd boos] Tonight, on my show -- [Mr. McMahon's music hits]

Tazz:
What the hell?

Michael Cole:
Well we didn't expect Mr. McMahon here tonight. And he does not look happy.

Tazz:
Cole, can you believe the mood is about to change. The chairman of the board is power walking his way to the ring.

Cole:
Look at Mr., Mr. Heyman's expression. Paul Heyman looks shocked to see the, the owner of the company here!

Mr. McMahon:
Well Mr. Heyman. Tonight was to have been a night of celebration. Tonight was to have been a night to have seen the winner of the 2004 Royal Rumble match walk down that aisle into this ring. Tonight was to have been a night of celebration for Chris Benoit in front of this crowd here in Washington, DC! [crowd cheers] That's not gonna happen, is it? That's not gonna happen, and why isn't is Chris Benoit gonna be here tonight? Unless my eyes clearly deceive me, I saw Chris Benoit being welcomed to Raw by Stone Cold Steve Austin last Monday night. Unless my eyes deceive me, I clearly saw Chris Benoit look into the eyes of Triple H and challenge him for the World title at WrestleMania. You see Mr. Heyman, what's happened is because of you. Because of you, Chris Benoit has jumped through what we call a legal loophole. You see, it says clearly the winner of the Royal Rumble will face the champion at WrestleMania, but it doesn't say which champion now, does it? And since you've made Benoit's life a living hell here on SmackDown!, Benoit chose to jump through that legal loophole and is now the sole property of Raw. And that's because of you, Mr. Heyman. So now, I would at least expect some sort of explanation for the SmackDown! audience. I would expect you, I would expect you to at least apologize to the SmackDown! audience. I'm sure you have something to day, don't you? WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY?!

Heyman:
Well, I say SCREW CHRIS BENOIT! [crowd boos] Uh, I uh, yeah, I say screw Chris Benoit, and the reason why I say that Vince, is because it's exactly the same thing that Vincent Kennedy McMahon would say. When, when, when Nash and Hall left your company when you needed them most, did you just cry about it? No, you said SCREW NASH AND HALL! I'll give someone else the opportunity! When, when the almighty God himself, Hulk Hogan left your company, did you just curl up in a fetal position and die? No, Vincent Kennedy McMahon said SCREW HULK HOGAN! I'll give someone else the chance. When Bret Hart left your company, did you just cry over spilled milk? No, you said screw Bret Hart, and you did screw Bret Hart, didn't you Vince?

McMahon:
Yes I did.

Heyman:
And you screwed Bret Hart by giving someone else the opportunity to become the main event. The big star all the way to WrestleMania.

McMahon:
Where, where's all this going? Come on, let's get to the point.

Heyman:
Tonight, in our nation's capital, in the finest tradition of the United States, and in the finest tradition of your World Wrestling Entertainment, we are gonna give someone the opportunity, because tonight, for the first time ever on network television, right here in Washington, DC, [crowd cheers] Paul Heyman's SmackDown! will present the Royal Rumble!

Cole:
What?!

Tazz:
Whoa.

Cole:
The Royal Rumble?!

Tazz:
What's he talking about?

Heyman:
Fifteen SmackDown!, no I'm, I'm I'm very much intact, Vince, fifteen SmackDown! superstars will come down that aisle, and only one man will emerge victorious. And Vince, that man won't have to wait until WrestleMania to face Brock Lesnar for the WWE title. No no no. The winner tonight will go on to face Brock Lesnar for the WWE title in less than three weeks at No Way Out. Now just so you know that I'm all business about this, Vince. Matt Morgan was in the Royal Rumble this past Sunday, you know that now he's on the injured list. Matt Morgan will be replaced tonight, his opportunity goes to a man that I don't like, Hardcore Holly.

Cole:
Wow.

Heyman:
Chris Benoit, remember? Screw Chris Benoit? Give his opportunity to somebody else? Tonight, Chris Benoit's opportunity goes to Eddie Guerrero!

Cole:
Oh my!

Tazz:
Wow!

Heyman:
And Vince, look. Look Vince, I did my homework, I'm prepared. The way you like your executives to be. A professional man. Those two men, Hardcore Holly and Eddie Guerrero, will join in this very ring, your very ring, Vince. John Cena, The Cat, The A-Train, Charlie Haas, Shelton Benjamin, Nunzio, Kurt Angle, Bradshaw, Rhyno, Billy Gunn, Rikishi, Tajiri, and the seven-foot tall, 500 pound monster that dominated the Royal Rumble, like no man before him, tonight in this very ring, The Big Show! Now Vince, hey, this is your company. You're the chairman of the board, you're the majority stockholder. And you have every right to come out here and say, screw Paul Heyman! I'll give someone else the opportunity. Or you can share this vision, Vince. This is, this is after all just, just coming out of your vision. And you can see this, Vince. We can make history together tonight, Vince. Network television history right here in Washington, DC, we can do it all over again, and tonight in your very ring, and present a Royal Rumble! It's up to you Vince. What do you say?

McMahon:
I say SmackDown! has a Royal Rumble!

Cole:
All right!

Tazz:
Yeah!

WWE SmackDown!, 2004  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Brock Lesnar:
I'm not even supposed to be here tonight. Paul Heyman told me that I could have the night off, but I just couldn't stay home. I have too much pride. That WWE Championship meant too much to me, I can't stay home. That championship was my life. Unlike Eddie Guerrero, who doesn't appreciate the damn thing at all. Eddie's probably, Eddie's probably gonna go out and, Eddie's probably gonna go out and pawn that thing off anyways. That's just how it is, and Eddie doesn't deserve that title. That title was everything to me. I mean, I'm an All-American kind of guy. I was a great WWE Champion and I don't understand why that you people can treat me like this. I can't believe it. I'm a great U.S. citizen. I'm an outstanding, I'm an outstanding guy. I'm an NCAA champion. I was, in my heart, I believe, the greatest WWE Champion in history. I mean, Eddie Guerrero, Eddie Guerrero is a lying, cheating, champion. That's exactly how Eddie won my title! Eddie Guerrero capitalized on Bill Goldberg! Eddie Guerrero STOLE MY TITLE! Eddie Guerrero might be the champion, but I guarantee it Eddie, your day will come and Brock Lesnar will become the WWE Champion once again. But, Bill Goldberg, I got a score to settle with you! It was because of you, Bill, is why I lost my WWE title! Because of you, Bill, my life hasn't been the same! Because of you, Bill, I can't sleep at night! Bill Goldberg, you're gonna feel the pain! Bill Goldberg, I'm gonna break you in half! That's what I'm gonna do to you Bill! So Vince, Mr. McMahon, I know you're listening to me right now, and I know you're gonna see this, I don't care, I don't care what Stone Cold Steve Austin thinks. I don't care what Paul Heyman thinks. I don't care what Eric Bischoff thinks. Mr. McMahon, I'm begging you. I am begging you, Mr. McMahon. No wait, [Lesnar hesitates, then gets on his knees] Mr. McMahon, I'm begging you from the bottom of my heart, please, please at WrestleMania XX, I'm begging you, at WrestleMania XX, give me Brock Lesnar versus Goldberg!

WWE SmackDown!, 2004  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

John Cena:
Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo! Damn y'all are alive tonight! [crowd chants "Cena"] This is my home. This is where I'm from. Y'all are my peoples. Hell, I used to buy tickets for the old Boston Garden. I could only afford the cheap ones where I was sitting right behind the pole. But that's real, and we gotta kick this off real. Now is Beantown here to represent?

Crowd:
Hell yes!

Cena:
So let me hear the whole building make some noise! [crowd cheers] You see, uh, at WrestleMania, Big Show didn't think I was a fighter. I put him on an FU diet. He came out ten pounds lighter. The SmackDown! video games are only way he could me. I bring championships home like my name was Tom Brady. But there's some people out there, that think I disgraced this title's heritage. [crowd boos] That's 'cause your boy's causing more controversies than gay marriages. Cole, Cole, no offense bro, we still cool right? [Tazz laughs]

Michael Cole:
What?

Cena:
All right bro. All right. Plus, the FCC is crackin' down on me too. [crowd boos] Man, those people suck! Just like the Yankees do. [crowd cheers, then chants "Yankees suck"] But I'm still throwin' the W up, changing the whole industry, I'm like the big dick bro. Nobody can finish me.

Cole:
John Cena all fired up tonight.

Tony Chimel:
And his opponent,

Cole:
His first U.S. title defense, [Paul Heyman's music hits]

Tazz:
Oh whoa whoa!

Cole:
Wait a minute, that's not Cena's opponent.

Tazz:
The hell? [Paul Heyman comes out]

Cole:
That's our general manager, Paul Heyman. Leave it to Heyman to ruin a great homecoming.

Paul Heyman:
Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement to make. [crowd boos] The rumors are true. Brock Lesnar is no longer with Paul Heyman's SmackDown!. Brock Lesnar has left World Wrestling Entertainment. But for you John, that could be good news, because now that Brock Lesnar's gone, there's a whole world of opportunity for any SmackDown! superstar that wants to grab it. Which means you John, could be the new face of SmackDown!. But it doesn't have to be that way. You see, this coming Monday, live in Detroit, Michigan, every ungrateful member of that Paul Heyman's SmackDown! locker room will be at Monday Night Raw, including you John. And by order of the chairman of the board, Mr. McMahon, the representative of Raw is gonna pick out names. And if a member of the SmackDown! locker room happens to be one of those names, then that member of SmackDown! goes to Raw. And if I, John, happen to pick out a name of a Raw superstar, then that Raw superstar gets drafted to Paul Heyman's brand new SmackDown!. You see John, if I were one of the superstars, if I were in that locker room tonight, I would get down on my hands and my knees and I would pray to God that I get drafted to Monday Night Raw because those that get left behind are going to incur the wrath of Paul Heyman. So let me spell this out for you so that even you can understand it John. I'm very stressed out. I got stunned by Stone Cold because of that locker room, AND I WANT EVERY MEMBER OF MY LOCKER ROOM GONE! I WANT YOU OFF OF MY SHOW! YOU CONTEMPTIBLE PIECE OF BOSTON CRAP! [slaps Cena]

Cole:
Oh ho!

Tazz:
Man.

Heyman:
DO YOU HEAR ME?! DO YOU HEAR ME?! I'M FINISHED WITH YOU! I'm, I'm gonna -- [tries to hit Cena but Cena blocks]

Tazz:
Uh-oh! [Cena knocks out Heyman]

Cole:
And a right hand to the jaw of Heyman!

WWE SmackDown!, 2004  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

John "Bradshaw" Layfield:
If you'll listen, I'll explain to you what happened last week. Because I really feel that I was horribly, horribly misunderstood. [crowd boos] Oh come on. If you'll just listen to me, you'll understand and you'll appreciate the fact that what I did was the right thing. You see, Ron Simmons, you don't understand, he's my best friend. He always has been. We've drank more beer, and we've been up more roads than most of you people ever imagine. So when Paul Heyman quit Monday night on Raw, I knew this was my chance. I knew this was my chance to get Ron's job back. I knew this was my chance to make sure that the APA stayed in business. [crowd cheers] But I'm not gonna do that. [crowd boos] Listen, I'm explaining, please! I've got a lot more than just wrestling going on. I appreciate everything that Ron Simmons has done for me. I appreciate years and years of friendship. But I've got a portfolio that has beat the stock market seven out of the last seven years! That is phenomenal. I've got a financial book by Simon & Schuster out, and I'm writing another book right now on keeping America strong. I've got a radio show that starts May 1, we're gonna talk about politics. We're gonna talk about finances. You people are gonna love this radio show. I have become the top financial analyst on network TV. Fox News loves to have me on. I could not, I simply could not walk away from all that I've got.

You people - get off your high horse! - you people would have done the exact same thing that I did, given the opportunity. If you'd have been in my shoes, which you're not, you people would have done the same thing. You see, it's time that you people quit listening to your little Sunday school fairy tales. It's time you start listening to a guy like Prince Machiavelli, who will tell you that there is no wrong and there is no right in society, that people do things because they want something back. There is simple cause and effect. You see, I understand that.

That is why people like me are people that run businesses. People like me are people that run industries. People like me are people that run governments. I have - the only thing I sold was stock about two weeks ago before terrorism scared the market, and I made a hell of a lot of money, so you can stop the "you sold out" chants right now. I have always been smarter, I have always been better, and I have always worked harder than anybody else around me. That is why I have always been considered an impact player. My picture hangs in my old high school. My picture hangs in my old college. Look it up, it's a matter of history. I don't have to pad my résumé. Normal people are astounded by my résumé because normal people never let their dreams get beyond their front door because they are scared of failure. I have never been scared of failure, and I have never failed. I have succeeded in everything but one thing and that is wrestling. Because I thought it was more important to have a good time. To drink beer, to play cards, to visit our troops. What I wanna tell you something, that's good and fine, but that ain't got me jack. So something speaks to happen around here. You're fixing to see an impact. And if you know anything about history you know this:
what I say I do, and what I do, I do very, very well. So get ready for the impact that's coming. Buckle your seats, boys and girls. Business is about to pick up.

WWE SmackDown!, 2004  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Michael Cole:
Well ladies and gentlemen, as we promised, from New York City, John "Bradshaw" Layfield. [crowd boos]

John "Bradshaw" Layfield:
You hear that response, Michael Cole? Do you? It's like somehow for some reason, those people there in your live audience think in some way, somehow I was responsible for what happened to Eddie Guerrero's mother?

Cole:
Well Bradshaw, we have seen the footage. Let's just get right to the point. Why would you engage in such despicable actions on a night when Eddie Guerrero and his family were honoring the matriarch of the Guerrero family? What prompted you to commit such an act as to manhandle a woman of her age and cause her to have a heart attack?

JBL:
Whoa whoa whoa right there. Manhandle? Pick your words a little more carefully. The only person I manhandled was Eddie Guerrero. I quietly, simply, and politely asked the old lady Guer -- Mrs. Guerrero to leave the ring so that I could finish my business with her little baby boy, Eddie.

Cole:
Bradshaw, no disrespect, but "politely"? I didn't see anything polite about you causing a, a woman to have a heart attack.

JBL:
Causing a heart attack? Watch your accusations Michael Cole. Now these people may like having 18 to 20 of them living in the same house. And that may be fine with them. But that doesn't mean you bring your ever little snot-nosed kid and 100-year-old grandmother into the ring. That is my place of business. It was not bring your family to work day. Eddie Guerrero had no right, ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT, bringing his family to the ring.

Tazz:
Well I, John, Bradshaw, not for nothing I mean, don't you think you owe the Guerrero family an apology at the very least?

JBL:
An apology?!

Tazz:
Mrs. Guerrero, yeah.

JBL:
You've got to be kidding me, Tazz! To who? To Eddie? To some elderly lady who's already outlived her days here on this Earth? Eddie Guerrero put his family in harm's way. That's his business. But if he does that, then he has to take responsibility. Eddie has to take responsibility for the circumstances and what happens, the consequences.

Cole:
Well and Bradshaw, i - is that why you're not here tonight in Tucson? Because you don't wanna face the circumstances?

JBL:
You watch your mouth, Michael Cole. You hear me? There is a reason I'm in New York City. I am a businessman. I work for CNBC, the most respected financial news network in the world. That is why I'm in New York. You see if I was there, the hothead that Eddie Guerrero has proved that he is, would probably do something dumb. And he would get hurt. So what I'm doing is, I'm giving Eddie a reprieve. A gift. But next week I will be there. And May 16, at Judgment Day, Los Angeles, I damn sure will be there because that is the day, the very day, you mark it down, that John "Bradshaw" Layfield becomes the new WWE Champion. You know as a matter of fact Michael Cole, now that I think about it, I don't think the old lady had a heart attack at all. I think she faked every single bit of it.

Cole:
You gotta be kidding me. Faking it?

JBL:
Think about it Michael Cole, she's a Guerrero. She didn't teach her kid the ABC's. She taught him to lie, cheat, and steal. It was bred into him. A star was made into its purest form. I was bred for success. That's why you are interviewing me. I'm gonna come there and I can beat up Eddie Guerrero for free. But I'm gonna wait for the pay-per-view. You see, that's good business. That's smart business. My parents bred me for success. My people came to this country in a boat. Not an inner tube! Michael Cole, this interview, just like Eddie Guerrero's title reign, has ended.

WWE SmackDown!, 2004  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[John "Bradshaw" Layfield is disgusted at the unkempt appearance of the Nassau Coliseum and wants his limo driver to drive him back to New York City]

John "Bradshaw" Layfield:
A rich man don't work when a rich man don't want to. Let's go driver. I look way too good not to be in New York City tonight. Let's go! [signals intercom] Hey, let's go! [no response] Idiot! Who hired these morons [tries again and opens partition] Hey, moron, I said let's go! Take me back to New York City now!

Driver:
New York City? [driver takes off his hat revealing it's Eddie Guerrero]

JBL:
Hey!! What are you..?

Eddie Guerrero:
Órale Holmes! We ain't going to New York City, but we are going for a ride. And it's gonna be better than Disneyland, órale Holmes - hey, does this, have any any hydraulics? [presses button and partition goes back up] Yeah, ha, vato loco.

JBL:
What do you mean hydraulics?!?! Get me out of here, idiot, you're stealing my... [tries to pound windows and open the door, but they're all locked]

Guerrero:
[as JBL jabbers at the back] It's time! [drives off]

WWE SmackDown!, 2004  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Paul Heyman:
So, the Dudley Boyz are the new WWE Tag Team Champions, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is thanks to the motivational skills of Paul Heyman. Now you should be happy that you got to witness that piece of history tonight, because one man did not get to witness it. That man is Paul Bearer, because Paul Bearer is in, shall we say, protective custody, which means, Paul Bearer missed it when history took a major, major turn. [footage from the previous week's episode of SmackDown! is shown]

Michael Cole:
This was last week on SmackDown!, and I still cannot believe what happened. Paul Heyman gave The Undertaker a choice to make; join me or never see Paul Bearer again. And in my estimation, The Undertaker had no choice, but I still never thought I would see this.

Tazz:
I was shocked as you were Cole. Everybody in Long Island there at the Nassau Coliseum was shocked. Everyone home, the SmackDown! fans were shocked. Right there you see, Undertaker bowing to the urn, bowing to Paul Heyman?

Heyman:
Why? Why would The Undertaker bow down in servitude to a man like Paul Heyman? Because I control The Undertaker's conscience. I control the destiny of The Undertaker's conscience, and that conscience, ladies and gentlemen, is named Paul Bearer. [crowd chants "you suck"] It's not nice to antagonize a powerful man like me because you see, ladies and gentlemen, there will come a day where The Undertaker will realize that he should be loyal to me, simply based on my greatness. But in the meantime, I have to come to the realization that The Undertaker feels for Paul Bearer. The Undertaker cares for Paul Bearer. And that is a weakness of The Undertaker that I'm willing to exploit. Because ladies and gentlemen, even the big dog needs to be trained. So at The Great American Bash, I have arranged for The Undertaker to face, in a handicap match, the new WWE Tag Team Champions, the Dudley Boyz.

Tazz:
What?

Heyman:
But, but there's so much more. Because at The Great American Bash, ladies and gentlemen, I promise you The Undertaker will do the right thing. The Undertaker will do the right thing or he'll find himself in a situation that for you, is a must-see situation. I like to call it live free or die. [removes a covering revealing a coffin] You see, at The Great American Bash, there is going to be a crypt, represented tonight by this coffin right here. [opens the coffin] And this coffin tonight represents the crypt that I will have at The Great American Bash, and in that crypt, will be The Undertaker's conscience, Paul Bearer. And also at The Great American Bash, ladies and gentlemen, there will be a cement truck. Coincidentally, just like the cement truck that you see right here tonight in Chicago, Illinois. The Undertaker, at The Great American Bash, will do the right thing, or at my command, the cement will flow, and Paul Bearer will find himself in a most terrible situation. [the cement truck pours cement into the coffin, filling it up] Now ladies and gentlemen, much like when you go to a car dealership, and you drive a demo car, this is just a mere demonstration. Because at The Great American Bash, I am having a monstrosity built. First time ever you've seen anything like this. There will be a crypt that will be made out of 3-inch thick glass, and it will be yay tall, and inside that crypt will be The Undertaker's conscience, Paul Bearer. Now the reason why the glass is 3 inches thick all the way around and all the way up tall is so that each and every one of you can see in, but no one can bust Paul Bearer out. Now I promise you, at The Great American Bash, The Undertaker will do the right thing, or I will give the word, and that crypt will start to flow in the cement, and the cement will rise above Paul Bearer's legs, the cement will rise above Paul Bearer's torso, the cement will go all the way up to Paul Bearer's chin, and at that moment, I will say "stop". Because at that point, I promise you, The Undertaker will do the right thing. 'Cause I'm gonna wanna look at the pained expression on The Undertaker's face. I'm gonna wanna see emotion from the Deadman, and if The Undertaker doesn't do the right thing, I will give the word and the cement will go over Paul Bearer's mouth, it will go over Paul Bearer's nose, it will engulf his eyes, it will engulf his head, and right before your very eyes, ladies and gentlemen, The Undertaker's conscience will be suffocated and will be no more. Now that's at The Great American Bash. I also have a demonstration for you live here tonight. Because live here tonight, in Chicago will be The Undertaker. [crowd cheers] Who will bow down at the feet of greatness of Paul Heyman.

WWE SmackDown!, 2004  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

John "Bradshaw" Layfield:
Thank you. Thank you very much. As our late great former President Ronald Reagan once said, it's morning again in America! It's the dawn of a new era. The John "Bradshaw" Layfield era. And I promise to this, to all of my fans. I will become the most popular WWE Champion of all time. I know, I know how America loves a winner. And America, I will give you that love back. I will shake hands with you, America. All of my fans. Of course I prefer a, nod of recognition for no other reasons than sanitary reasons of course, I mean, shaking hands, you can get germs, and honestly you don't want your champion getting sick now, do you? And for those of you who insist on shaking my hand, I want to tell you, don't be offended by the fact that I will take out a little hand sanitizer. [rubs his hands with hand sanitizer as the crowd chants "Eddie"]

Michael Cole:
The Eddie chants begin here in Fayetteville.

JBL:
Because I want you to know folks, it's not personal. It's just personal hygiene. Because I will kiss your babies. As long of course if, if they don't smell bad, they don't spit up or they don't have runny noses. And I want you fans to get to know me, okay? I prefer to be called Mr. Bradshaw. But if you wanna be familiar with me, you can call me Champion. Or Champ! Because I am the WWE Champion. You see, after Ronald Reagan passed away, and John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King were taken from us, at such an early age, what you need America, is a champion. I am proud, I am proud to be your champion. So I don't mind you saying it, you can say it now if you want. JBL. JBL. Come on. JBL. JBL. JBL. Because that will inspire me, that will inspire me to be the fighting champion that I will be, unlike Eddie Guerrero. You see, I went into Kurt Angle's office and I looked him in the eye, and I said, Mr. Angle, I want a fight tonight. I don't want to rest to my morals as champion. I want to defend this WWE Championship, and not just against anybody, but against somebody who was at The Great American Bash. And I plan on defending this tonight. Right here. Right here in, right here in, [walks over to a ringside technician] right here in Fayetteville, North Carolina! And Mr. Angle told me that I can choose the person that I want to defend my championship against. As long as that person was not Eddie Guerrero. Because, quite honestly, I feel like Eddie's fallen off the wagon. Right now, Eddie's not here. If he were here, he'd walk in this ring like a man, shake my hand, and tell me the better man won last Sunday. But he won't do that, because Eddie Guerrero, right now, I'm sad to say is probably knee deep in a bottle of pills, or knee deep in a bottle of vodka. And it hurts me very very badly. It pained me to know that you had a champion that you people were ashamed of. Be ashamed no more, because the era of John "Bradshaw" Layfield has arrived. And I promise you this, I vow, no wait, I guarantee, I guaranteed victory at Judgment Day, and I guaranteed I would be the new WWE Champion at The Great American Bash. So I now guarantee to you, my fellow Americans, that I will be a champion that you can be proud of. Thank you, and God bless America.

WWE SmackDown!, 2004  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Kurt Angle:
There has been a lot of talk about my actions last week on SmackDown!. I have been called a liar, a con artist, and quite frankly, it hurts because you people have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. I'm an extraordinary human being capable of doing extraordinary things. In case you forgot, I won an Olympic gold medal with a broken neck. And last week, when I saw Eddie Guerrero, who I despise, who brings shame and disgrace to this company, who was about to regain the WWE Championship, I sucked it up, set aside my pain, and did what I had to do to make sure it didn't happen. I did the impossible. Do I believe in miracles? Yes, I do. And sure, afterwards, I regressed, my doctors told me that my actions enabled me to further damage my knee. My therapists told me that I risked permanent paralysis. But it was worth it. It was worth it for the greater good, to maintain Kurt Angle's SmackDown!. Where men are rewarded by morality. Where men, like John Cena, are stripped of the U.S. Championship. Where men, like John "Bradshaw" Layfield, stand tall as the WWE Champion. A SmackDown! where Eddie Guerrero becomes obsolete. That's right, Eddie! [hears "Eddie" chants] You see, Eddie Guerrero, what he did was wrong. But I'll tell you what. I'm gonna give Eddie Guerrero a chance tonight to keep his job because what he did, I could fire Eddie on the spot. But I'm a decent man, so I'm not gonna do that. But, there's one thing that Eddie Guerrero has to do. He has to come out here and he has to convince me to keep his job, provided that he begs for it. If Eddie Guerrero gets on his knees and begs in front of me for his job back, I promise, as general manager of SmackDown!, I will let him keep his job. But it's got to be good and it's got to be sincere. And I'll show you what I'm talking about. [Turns to Tony Chimel] Tony, would you come in the ring? And bring your microphone.

[Tony Chimel enters the ring]

Kurt Angle:
In case you don't know who this man is, this is our ring announcer and Philadelphia's own, Tony Chimel. [audience cheers] Mr. Chimel is a great significance to me because he was the ring announcer at my last match, WrestleMania XX. The match where Eddie Guerrero cheated to win. And the last image that keeps going over and over and over and over again in my head is Tony Chimel, with a smile on his face, announcing, "And the winner is Eddie Guerrero!" Now, Mr. Chimel, in case you didn't know, when you cheat, you don't win which makes you a liar. And in my book, that's immediate grounds for dismissal. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What, you saying I'm a liar? Is that what you're saying? No? I'll tell you what, Tony Chimel. I could fire you on the spot. But I'll tell you what. If you can convince me to keep your job, I'll let you have your job. Go ahead.

Tony Chimel:
Kurt, I...

Kurt Angle:
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Knees. On your knees.

Tony Chimel:
[getting on his knees] Mr. Angle, I sincerely apologize if I offended you in any way. Please, just let me keep my job. Please.

Kurt Angle:
Are you kidding me? You call that begging? Say it like you mean it!

Tony Chimel:
Mr. Angle, please. Please, I have a wife and three kids. I just... just wanna have my job, please.

Kurt Angle:
All right, all right, all right. That was good. Much better. Actually, that was really good, but not good enough. Tony Chimel, YOU'RE FIRED! [audience boos] NOW, GET OUT OF MY RING! GO, NOW!

[Tony Chimel leaves the ring]

Kurt Angle:
I'm sorry, but Tony Chimel's not a very good beggar. But don't worry, people, because someone will be begging for their job tonight. And that man is Eddie Guerrero.

WWE SmackDown!, 2004  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[before a commercial break]

Michael Cole:
Hoo-rah! Hoo-rah! It's the Miz's debut, next on SmackDown!. The Miz!

JBL:
I'd rather have a root canal than sit here and watch Miz, the wrestling gods must hate me.

[after the break, as The Miz arrives for his WWE in-ring debut]

Michael:
We are back on SmackDown!. It's the debut of the Miz!

JBL:
Jerry Brisco is rolling over in his grave and Jerry's not even dead!

WWE SmackDown!, 2006  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Big Show:
Eddie was very, very spiritual. Um, a great, great dad. Um, every time I saw him around his kids, he was just...so full of life and so...just full of joy 'cause he was so proud of his family. Eddie was so thankful to God for all of it. Um, my only comfort in losing a friend...is knowing that he's with God now. And all the pain, and all the things that he endured, he's with God now, he's safe. He's loved. I know this is not right, but I can't believe Eddie's gone. I love you bro. And there'll be another one like you. You were awesome.

WWE SmackDown!, 2005  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Randy Orton:
I didn't come out here to brag about what I did to The Undertaker. I don't need to. I'm, I'm not an arrogant man. What I did to Undertaker speaks for itself. [points to the SmackDown! titantron that was destroyed and is covered with tape] Any of you here coming to this arena thinking that there's just a small chance you might see Undertaker rise from the ashes, WELL GUESS WHAT, AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN! It's over, he's done! His legacy is dead. I killed him. I KILLED THE UNDERTAKER! [crowd boos] The only true phenom now in the WWE...is me. And I deserve something for what I've accomplished. I deserve the World Heavyweight Championship. You think I don't? Do you disagree with me?! [crowd cheers] You disagree with me?! Well guess what, the one man that three years in a row was the sole survivor at the Survivor Series match, you're looking at him! The youngest World Heavyweight Champion in history! You're looking at him! A third-generation superstar! Guess what, you're looking at him! [crowd boos] The man that killed the phenom, The Undertaker. You're looking at him. You people disagree? Well your opinions mean nothing to me, whatsoever. [crowd chants "asshole"] Batista! [crowd cheers] I'm calling you out. I want a World Heavyweight Championship match. And I don't want one at Armageddon. I demand one at Armageddon!

Tazz:
Wow.

Orton:
And I will become the World Heavyweight Champion. It's not arrogance, people. It's destiny.

WWE SmackDown!, 2005  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Daivari:
Well, I told you what was gonna happen out here. We'll be screwed up. But Kurt, I should have said, you were the one that was gonna get screwed. I am now the manager of the World's Strongest Man, and next World Heavyweight Champion, Mark Henry.

Michael Cole:
What?

Tazz:
What the hell is going on here? Daivari's Henry's manager?

Michael Cole:
Oh my God.

Tazz:
I never saw this coming. Angle got...I...I...did he get double-crossed here? Is Daivari now manager of Mark Henry?

Michael Cole:
I'd love to know what the hell happened, but the bottom line is Daivari is managing Mark Henry.

Tazz:
Daivari knows Kurt Angle so well, Cole.

Michael Cole:
Well, nine days away from the Rumble, the #1 contender Mark Henry ended up himself as a serious threat but now with Daivari added to the mix, Kurt Angle's reign may be in trouble. As Daivari said, this is screwed up.

WWE SmackDown!, 2006  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Randy Orton:
[clears throat] Please, please. Now, I'm not the kind of guy to come out here and say, "I told you so." But I told you so. I'm gonna compete for the World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania. Rey Mysterio is not. All of Rey's hopes, dreams, fantasies of having a storybook victory over me were shattered. It didn't matter who was cheering for him and it didn't matter who he dedicated his match to. I had destiny on my side. SHUT YOUR MOUTH! I had destiny on my side, a destiny, my destiny, that will be fulfilled at WrestleMania when I become the World Heavyweight Champion. Now, Kurt Angle, you're lucky, man, because that's what it took, luck, to beat the Undertaker at No Way Out and all the luck in the world couldn't help you at WrestleMania when you step in the ring with me! And when I become world champion, I will take my rightful place at the top of this business. A business that my family built. You see, my grandfather was the greatest wrestler of his generation. My father was the greatest wrestler of his generation. And when I become World Champion, I will prove to everybody that I am the greatest wrestler of my generation. Not Kurt Angle, not the Undertaker, not Rey Mysterio, not the late, great Eddie Guerrero, no, no, no! I am without peers. Nobody is better than Randy Orton. Nobody is better than me. You people can chant what you want. You people can say whatever.. [Chavo Guerrero attacks Randy Orton]

WWE SmackDown!, 2006  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

John "Bradshaw" Layfield [standing on the announcers' desk, waving to Rey Mysterio who is in the ring]:
Como está, my amigo? Sunday, Domingo, is Judgment Day, Rey. Your judgment day, when I take that championship off your undeserving body! But I got a question for you, Rey. [to Howard Finkel] Give him your microphone! Give him your microphone! [Finkel obliges and walks out of the ring. JBL addressing Rey again] You look like roadkill, vato! The last two weeks has been rough on you, Rey, ya look terrible! You don't even know which way is up, do ya? Rey! Let me ask you a question: do you even know where we are? [interrupting Rey before he could reply] Son! Son! I'll help ya: we're in Albuquerque, north Mexico. Do you even know, Rey? Look at - you got dain bramage, ese! Do you even know what year it is, Rey? [interrupting Rey before he could speak again] Rey, I'll help ya, I'll help ya...2006. Do you even know what day it is?

Rey Mysterio [walking towards JBL]:
May 19th!

JBL [feigning shock, then grinning]:
You said it...I didn't!

[JBL laughs hysterically as suddenly a fireball goes off and then Kane arrives. Rey looks shocked]

Michael Cole:
Oh...oh, my God!

Tazz:
What the hell-?

Michael:
You gotta be-

Tazz:
What, no!

Michael:
It's Kane! It's Kane! It's Kane!

Tazz:
No! No!

Michael:
JBL, you sick bastard!

Tazz:
What are you - what is going on?!

Michael:
You gotta be kiddin' me! What the hell is wrong with you?!

Tazz:
No!

Michael:
Kane! Oh my God, this is gonna be a massacre! [Kane enters the ring and immediately attacks Rey; the bell rings to start the match] Kane, beating the hell out of Mysterio!

Tazz:
You gotta be kid - I, I'm...I'm shocked!

Michael:
JBL, what the hell is wrong with you?? What the hell is wrong with you?!?

JBL:
You shouldn't upset Kane, you know what Kane hates when you say that! He shouldn't upset the Big Red Machine! This is Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger all rolled into one, except for the fact he's a living, breathing human being, and he is a walking, talking stud!

WWE SmackDown!, 2006  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

John "Bradshaw" Layfield:
We just witnessed the greatest travesty of all time at Judgment Day! [crowd chants "you suck"] Rey Mysterio is still the World Champion. [crowd cheers] But I challenged him to take on all comers. I appealed to his machismo. Well Rey, oh Rey! If you're still a man of your word, and you'll still take on all comers, then I'm gonna prove it was a fluke on Sunday! Come out here right now with your World Championship and let's do it right here! [Rey Mysterio's theme hits]

Michael Cole:
Oh ho ho! The World Champion, as he proved Sunday, is a man of his word! [Rey Mysterio comes out] A standing ovation for the man who's still living his dream, successfully defending the World Championship Sunday at Judgment Day.

Tazz:
I don't know how Mysterio did it on Sunday but he did it. He left Phoenix with the World Championship.

Rey Mysterio:
JBL, you're right. I did say I would take on all comers. And I took you on at Judgment Day. And I beat you!

JBL:
You sarcastic little punk, that was a fluke! Now get out here, let's do it right now!

Mysterio:
Hold on. JBL, you are the United States Champion. I don't, I don't see you defending your title. I don't see you taking on all comers.

JBL:
You little punk. You have the audacity to question me? THIS IS MY SHOW! I carry this company! And yes, I will take on all comers, because nobody but a true American hero represents this country better. I am proud to be your United States Champion.

Mysterio:
Did, did you, did you just say you are willing to take on all, all comers?

JBL:
I kicked you too hard in the head Rey. Is your mask covering your ears? Under the blood that you bled at Judgment Day covering up your ears? You want it in English? The answer is yes, I take on anybody!

Mysterio:
English, Spanish, I understood you. [speaks Spanish] So, since you are willing, let me introduce to you your opponent. Bobby Lashley!

WWE SmackDown!, 2006  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[during the World Heavyweight Championship rematch between King Booker and Rey Mysterio]

John "Bradshaw" Layfield:
I don't get it, Michael, what keeps Rey in this match? This stupid machismo thing!

Michael Cole [as King Booker grabs Rey from the top turnbuckle]:
Uh-oh, King Booker caught Mysterio!

JBL:
He may not be in it any longer!

Michael:
Rey Mysterio trying to reverse fortune here! Trying to shift balance and he does, kick to the midsection! Mysterio, a suplex!

[Rey gives King Booker a suplex]

JBL:
I know what keeps him in this match!

Michael [as Rey holds on to King Booker and sets him up for another suplex]:
And look at this!

JBL:
No!

Michael:
Look at this!

JBL:
It's the spirit of Eddie Guerrero!

Michael [as Rey hits the second suplex] Paying homage to Eddie Guerrero! The Three Amigos!

JBL:
No, no, no! [as Rey hits the third suplex] I've seen this from Eddie Guerrero, I've seen this from Rey Mysterio; I am sick of it!! [as Rey does Eddie's shimmy] Enough is enough!! No!

Michael [as Rey goes onto the apron and approaches the turnbuckles]:
And now Rey...

JBL:
No!!

Michael:
...with a little bit of Eddie in him! [as Queen Sharmell climbs the apron on the other side and tries to distract the referee] And look at Queen Sharmell up on the apron! [suddenly, Chavo Guerrero comes out through the crowd and grabs Rey] Hey! Who the hell-? [Chavo throws Rey onto the barricade behind him] Who the he-?

JBL:
Oh, my God!

Michael:
Is that Ch-? It's Chavo! It's Chavo again! What the hell is Chavo doing?!

JBL [as Chavo puts Rey back into the ring]:
Rey's out! Rey's unconscious!

Michael:
He bounced his head and his spine off the barricade! What the hell is wrong with Chavo?!

JBL:
There's nothing wrong with Chavo; I've known three Gue - generations of Guerreros! You can't trust a Guerrero!

Michael [as Chavo starts to make his way up the ramp]:
Chavo said he wasn't even in Detroit when we interviewed him, earlier tonight! Where the hell did he come from?!

JBL:
Just like Eddie, he lies! He cheats! He steals! You cannot trust a Guerrero!

Michael [as Rey slowly starts to get up]:
And King Booker is measuring Rey; the World Championship is on the line! [King Booker then hits a scissors kick on Rey] There's the scissors kick!

JBL:
Cinderella's done! Strike midnight!

Michael:
Not again!

JBL [as King Booker covers Rey and the referee counts to 3]:
Call her the fat lady! Call her the wicked mama!

Michael:
Not again! [the bell rings] Aww, damn it!

JBL:
Tell her the saying, the King of the World! [as Chavo leaves and Queen Sharmell embraces King Booker] I told you, he should not - Rey should not have upset the coronation!

Tony Chimel:
Here's your winner, and still World Heavyweight Champion, King Booker!

Michael [as the referee hands King Booker back his title]:
You gotta believe that Rey Mysterio was moments away from regaining the title, and for some God-unknown reason, he was screwed again by Chavo!!

JBL:
What are you, Sigmund Freud?! You don't know what I believe! I don't have to believe that! I believe the greatest word you can hear when you're a champion is, "still World Champion, King Booker"!

Michael:
Let's take another look at what happened at the end of this matchup. [replay of Chavo throwing Rey into the barricade] Yet again, for the first - for the second time this week, Chavo has betrayed one of his best friends, Rey Mysterio! [replay of King Booker's scissors kick on Rey on his way to the 3-count] And that betrayal allowing the king to retain the World Heavyweight Championship!

JBL:
Allowing King Booker to retain his place with destiny!

[back live, as King Booker and Queen Sharmell look back at the fallen Rey]

Michael:
The bottom line is, that man, Chavo Guerrero, has stabbed Rey Mysterio in the back!

JBL:
Tigers don't change colors, Michael!

Michael:
Chavo Guerrero is cold-blooded, bottom line!

WWE SmackDown!, 2006  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[Chavo Guerrero's music hits and he appears. The crowd boos]

Michael Cole:
I can't wait to hear this. Nothing this man can say will convince me what he did to Rey Mysterio in the past two weeks was right.

John "Bradshaw" Layfield:
Where's your objectivity? Let's listen to what he has to say.

Tony Chimel:
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, Chavo Guerrero.

JBL:
And why are you surprised? Why does Kasparov play chess? Why does Clemens pitch? It's in his DNA. It is in Chavo's DNA to be a Guerrero. I've known three generations of Guerreros; you cannot trust a Guerrero. Lie, cheat and steal, remember, Michael?

Michael:
Oh yeah, I remember. That's their motto, the Guerrero motto.

JBL:
Don't look down on it, Mr. High-and-Mighty.

Michael:
Eddie Guerrero made that phrase famous.

JBL:
And this is his nephew.

Chavo Guerrero:
People want to know why I screwed Rey Mysterio, why I betrayed Rey Mysterio. But first, I want to know: what is betrayal? Is betrayal stealing from another man? Is betrayal stealing his name from him? Stealing his blood? Because that's what Rey Mysterio did to me, did to my whole family, the Guerrero family. What? You don't believe me? You don't believe that Rey Mysterio is a thief? Let me tell you what he stole from me. I grew up with Eddie Guerrero. We were like brothers. We used to lie, cheat, and steal together. When Eddie passed away, we all felt it. We all felt it, we were all devastated. I retired from wrestling, I walked away from wrestling. But did Rey Mysterio? Noooo. He used the Guerrero name, Eddie's name. It seemed like every other match, Rey was dedicating the match to Eddie's memory. The Royal Rumble, No Way Out, even at WrestleMania. Every five minutes, he was mentioning Eddie's name, very, very convenient. And when Rey won the World Heavyweight Championship, it got even worse. Rey, you couldn't stand on your own, Rey, you couldn't keep the title on your own. What did you do? You used another Guerrero — me. Rey, I saved you from losing the title to JBL. I saved you from losing the title to Mark Henry. I saved you over and over and over again. But you decided to stand right here in the middle of this ring and take all the glory, and use Eddie's spotlight and Eddie's name that all of you chanted to him. At The Great American Bash, I couldn't take it anymore. And that's when I realized that Rey Mysterio, you didn't just steal Eddie from me, you didn't just steal Eddie from the Guerrero family, you stole the memory of Eddie from each and every one of these people out here, from you [points to one person in the audience], from you [points to another person in the audience]. People ask me why I did what I did. Because Rey Mysterio, you're nothing but a leech, living off the blood of the Guerrero name.

[Rey Mysterio appears and charges towards the ring]

Michael:
Oh my!

JBL:
Oh my!

Michael:
And look at this!

JBL:
No!

Michael [as Rey and Chavo begin fighting]:
It's Rey Mysterio! Rey has heard enough! Chavo, Rey unloading on Chavo Guerrero!

JBL:
Chavo was right! Chavo was right with everything he said!

Michael:
I thought it was a pathetic excuse, as Mysterio and Chavo continue to beat the hell out of each other inside the ring! [Rey and Chavo fall to the outside and keep fighting] And now it spills outside the ring; these two former best friends are beating the living hell out of each other!

JBL:
He shouldn't have desecrated Eddie's name; that's what Rey Mysterio-

Michael:
Rey never did that!

JBL:
You know damn well he did!

WWE SmackDown!, 2006  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Batista:
Yeah! Hell yeah! Oh, you have no, no idea how good I feel. I'm all dressed up, got my new suit on, got my new shoes on, bam! I'm in Hotlanta! And I am once again the World Heavyweight Champion! Yes! This Sunday, at Unforgiven, I was fortunate enough to overcome the former, let me say that again, the former World Heavyweight Champion, The Great Khali, and my good friend, a man who I respect very much and I was proud and privileged to compete against, Mr. 619, Rey Mysterio. Yes sir. Yes sir. Rey, you're my brother, I love you, and you will be World Heavyweight Champion again. I know it in my heart. But for right now, for me, The Great Khali will exercise the rematch clause in his contract. So as it stands, it will be The Great Khali versus Batista at No Mercy. In what he calls a Punjabi Prison match. [Mark Henry's music hits]

Michael Cole:
Well ladies and gentlemen, the self-proclaimed silverback, the world's strongest man, Mark Henry, who John, Sunday at Unforgiven, gave the returning Undertaker a hell of a physical battle. But what brings him out to confront The Animal tonight?

JBL:
Mark Henry said he's gonna do whatever he wants, and nobody can do anything about it. I think that's what brings Mark Henry out. He's the king of the jungle, Michael. Mark Henry does whatever he wants.

Mark Henry:
Batista, I can care less about this celebration of yours. I can care less about your Punjabi Prison match that you're gonna have with The Great Khali at No Mercy. But what I do care about, is next week. The Undertaker returns to SmackDown! in a match against me. The World's Strongest Man. What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna end The Undertaker's illustrious career. Come to think of it, I might need a little warmup for The Undertaker next week. And don't worry, don't worry. I won't even take a shot at your precious new title. Because all these people know, and deep in your heart, you know, that if I want that belt, I'll take it whenever I want it.

Batista:
Mark Henry, you are as stupid as you are ugly. Last time I checked, you were getting your ass handed to you at Unforgiven by the Deadman. You got the nerve, you got the nerve to come out here and call me out? I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. You've had a Batista beatdown coming for a long-ass time. And tonight, you're gonna get it. You want a match? You're on.

WWE SmackDown!, 2007  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jeff Hardy:
Um, you know it's been a weird, a really weird time for me lately. I kinda feel broken, kinda feel, you know, left alone. I kinda felt like doing bad things to bad people but something doesn't feel right. Matt Hardy is my brother. I mean, we made it here to the WWE together. We've won championships together, we've lost championships together. I mean come on, a big brother's someone you're supposed to be able to look up to, he's supposed to be a role model. He's supposed to have your back. And evidently with Matt, that's not the case. I don't know if it's jealousy or what, but whatever it is, it's messed up. At the Royal Rumble, I mean it used to remind me of good times, I mean when we were kids we watched it every year. But now all it reminds me of is betrayal. All it reminds me of is a chair shot to the head and a broken dream. Matt whatever's going on inside your head man, you should know better than anybody how I roll man and I'm the type of person that moves on. I don't live in the past and I refuse to. So what I'm gonna do is move on, and I'm moving on to this Sunday, come the Elimination Chamber, and I will become the WWE Champion for the second time whether Matt Hardy likes it or not!

WWE SmackDown!, 2009  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Triple H:
So let me get this straight now...at Unforgiven, it's gonna be the Championship Scramble where, 5 men are gonna get in the ring to try to capture the WWE championship; it'll be myself, MVP...

[the crowd boos]

Triple H:
Shelton Benjamin...

[the crowd boos again]

Triple H:
Brian Kendrick...

[the crowd boos again]

Triple H:
...no no no no, not just any Brian Kendrick, THE Brian Kendrick...

[the crowd boos louder]

Triple H:
...and the enigma Jeff Hardy. [the crowd cheers] Now here's the trick - they can get in the ring and they don't have to beat me to become champion; they can beat any one of them, and the last one to catch a fall, in the 20 minutes, walks out the WWE champion, now...those odds don't favor me very much, they practically guarantee that the title will change hands. But I just wanna let these guys know one thing before you all go out and start celebrating, buying yourself a Rolex or a, a fancy new sports car to celebrate your big win of becoming WWE champion, here's the thing you gotta understand, guys: the fifth guy in that ring...the fifth guy in that ring is a 12-time champion. [the crowd cheers] The fifth guy in that ring has been in every match that the WWE has to offer, and has come out on top! The fifth guy is known for a very good reason as the Game. He is also known as the King of Kings, and trust me, there is only one-

[suddenly Kenny Dykstra's music hits as he comes out and marches towards the ring]

Jim Ross:
Wow. What the...

Tazz:
It's Kenny Dykstra, what...

Jim:
Kenny Dykstra interrupting the WWE champion, somewhat disrespectful - extremely disrespectfully, for a fact-

[Kenny snatches the mic from Triple H's hand]

Kenny:
So I'm not even considered for the Championship Scramble? Really?! I'm sick and tired of people not taking me serious around here. My name is Kenny Dykstra, and-

[Triple H kicks Kenny in the gut and gives him the Pedigree]

Jim:
Oh, oh...and this is a Pedigree -

Tazz:
Oh, God!

Jim:
- from the WWE champion!

[Triple H picks up his title and then the mic]

Triple H:
Good to see ya, Kenny. [drops the mic and leaves the ring]

Tazz:
Well, I tell ya, I give Kenny Dykstra a lot of credit for coming out here and getting right in the face of the WWE champion, but...that Pedigree was nasty!

Jim:
Well, Dykstra's got a world of talent and abilities, but I can't say so much for his timing!

WWE SmackDown!, 2008  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[Hornswoggle attacks Jonathan Coachman]

JBL:
Referees don't do that.

Michael Cole:
Well, when you're a McMahon, you can do whatever you want to do, right?

JBL:
Oh, that's a good point.

WWE SmackDown!, 2007  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Batista:
I grew up a pretty poor kid in Washington, DC. Getting in fights all the time, had to fight my way out of a lot of bad situations. And WWE, same thing. Been in fights A to Z. Street fights, cage matches, you name it. Been there, done that. But this past Sunday, I did something, I accomplished something I thought I might never do. I beat The Undertaker. I, the rivalry between The Undertaker and myself, it's, it's been a war. He's won one, I've won one, we got two draws, in my book, that makes us even. Which is perfect for tonight, since we are tag team partners. So this is what I wanna say. We're not, we have not settled our differences by any means. But Undertaker, tonight, I've got your back and my question is, I'm wondering if you've got my back. 'Cause if you don't [The Undertaker's gong goes off and The Undertaker appears]

The Undertaker:
You can rest assured, I got your back. Because you still have the one thing that I want.

Batista:
Are you saying you want a rematch? Done. You've got it. [drops the microphone and prepares to leave the ring]

Undertaker:
Batista. Hell in a Cell!

WWE SmackDown!, 2007  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[after the Undertaker gets beaten down by Mark Henry following his steel cage match with Batista]

John "Bradshaw" Layfield [as the officials get Mark to leave]:
He said he wanted to make an impact, Michael, and he said there wasn't anything anybody could do about it.

[suddenly Edge's music hits]

Michael Cole:
Wh-whoa - Edge-

[Edge marches towards the ring, Money in the Bank briefcase in hand]

JBL:
You gotta be kidding me. No.

Michael:
No! No...

JBL:
No, come on, Edge, no, not this way! No, damn it! No!

[Edge hands his briefcase to referee Jimmy Korderas and yells out his intention to cash it in]

Michael:
I can't-

[Korderas beckons over ring announcer Tony Chimel and tells him of Edge cashing in his briefcase]

Tony Chimel:
Ladies and gentlemen, I've just been informed that Edge is cashing in his Money in the Bank championship match; so therefore, this is an official championship match for the World Heavyweight Championship!

Michael:
This is not happening! Please tell me this is not happening!

JBL:
It's brilliant. It's brilliant, Michael.

[the bell rings]

Michael [as Edge quickly covers the Undertaker, who is still down from Mark Henry's beating]:
The referee is disgusted! I'm disgusted! [as the referee counts] Here's the cover, hook to the leg, and Undertaker kicked out! Come on, Taker! [as a stunned Edge covers him again] Come on, Undertaker! Cover again! [Undertaker kicks out at 2 again] And again, the champion kicks out!

JBL [as a look of disbelief crosses Edge's face]:
But how much does Undertaker have left?

Michael:
The referee had no choice-

JBL:
He's spent!

Michael:
The referee had no choice but to make this match official. Edge has cashed in the Money in the Bank he won on Raw Monday night. [suddenly Undertaker tries to sit up, much to Edge's shock] And Undertaker-

JBL:
You're kidding me.

Michael:
The beaten Undertaker! [Undertaker collapses back to the mat] Undertaker tried to sit up; he couldn't quite do it! After the assault by Mark Henry, the battle in the steel cage, but perhaps Edge is second-guessing himself here! [Edge is now standing in the corner, waiting for the Undertaker to get back up] What does he have to do to keep the Phenom down?

JBL:
Edge is a shark that smells blood in the water, Michael! He's become world champion like this before, and I don't care how many times the Undertaker sits up, he's got nothing left!

Michael:
Undertaker can't even pull himself up by the ropes! He is a beaten, defenseless, helpless champion! And that piranha-

JBL:
As much as you don't like it, Michael, this is a brilliant, brilliant move by Edge!

Michael:
That sick piranha! That piranha Edge is measuring the Undertaker!

JBL [as the Undertaker finally stands up]:
He's a piranha that could be our next world champion!

[Edge hits the Undertaker with his spear]

Michael:
Spear! [Edge covers the Undertaker and the referee counts to 3] The cover! Not this way! Not this way! Dammit!

[the bell rings and the referee hands the World Heavyweight Championship belt to Edge, then raises his arm]

Tony:
Here is your winner and the NEW World Heavyweight Champion, the Rated-R Superstar, Edge!

Michael:
I am absolutely sick! I am disgusted! The ultimate opportunist has done it, again!

JBL:
This is the second time he's won a world championship like this, Michael, and I don't care how disgusted you are; sometimes, you win by attrition, but what is important is, you win - right there, Michael, is our new world champion, Edge!

Michael:
I can - I'm still trying to...to get it all straight in my mind; I mean, it's shocking, it is startling, Edge is ch- [Edge has marched over to the announce desk, banging it and yelling at Michael] Yeah, it is yours. It is yours, Edge.

JBL:
You're damn right it is!

WWE SmackDown!, 2007  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

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In which movie does this quote appear: "May the Force be with you."?
A Rocky
B Toy Story
C E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial
D Star Wars