Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #69

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104 — There are currently 6,059 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Steve Smith: [celeb accent] Mmm. I want to gas mask that muffin. Pony: Dude, get your molesterol checked. Steve Smith: [celeb accent] [scoffs] No limoncello. Place blows. Baby Cakes: You talking about that hummingbird food that Danny Devito drinks? Steve Smith: [celeb accent] Ah, celeb stuff. You wouldn't understand. Frank Smith: Who the f* are you? Steve Smith: Me? Uh, I don't know. Maybe I'm the friend of the kid of a very famous real-estate agent. Frank Smith: Uh, you're the dick who hangs out with a gang of toads who are not celebs. – China, Il** Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[while Kim leaves] Trump's Kid: Oh, I'm gonna eat her bread like a cake, Steve. Steve Smith: If you were a fish, you'd be a catfish. Trump's Kid: Why's that, dog? Steve Smith: [joking around] 'Cause you a bottom feeder! – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Trump's Kid: Whoa. Check that bit with the tight-ass skeletal frame wearing that hella flame. Steve Smith: Flame? Trump's Kid: Flame is celeb talk for makeup. [Steve sees on his students dancing] Steve Smith: Oh, no, dawg. That -- That's my student Kim. I'd spit that bit. Trump's Kid: Quick lesson about me -- When I scope a fashionable girl all blazed out with flame tottering on a sick-ass thinly frame, I hit the ground [bleep]. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Steve buys a limoncello] Steve Smith: [to Waitress] Hey, uh, here's a starter tip 'cause, uh, this might suck for you. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Pony: B.C., you can't like both toppings. We just proved that you either have the anchovy gene or you don't. Baby Cakes: I don't know. Both felt right. Billy: Oh, I see what's going on here. B.C. is just a repressed full-on anchovy eater, like I was before. Pony: It makes sense. If he wants anchovies, he must have the anchovy gene, right? Billy: His love for pepperoni -- It's all been a lie. Baby Cakes: Then I'm the greatest liar ever. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Mayor: [on TV] In light of recent science, Mayor must allow anchovy eating in church. BUT! Mayor will only allow those with an anchovy gene to eat this sht here. Or anywhere else in China! Professor Cakes:* Uh-oh. We set off something bad. Professor Cakes: Ah, well. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Flowers Woman: Hello. 1-800-Flowers. How may I -- Frank Smith: [interrupt] I got 30 bucks. What can I get? Flowers Woman: Well, um, okay. It seems we have only one bouquet under $40. Frank Smith: Credit card number is 4507-3300-0000-0022. Expiration 02/18. Flowers Woman: Let me give you a confirmation number. Frank Smith: Just send it to 679 Oak Street, China, Illinois, 60010 asap, okay? We done? Flowers Woman: Uh, sure. We'll get that "I love you more than anything" bouquet right out. Frank Smith: WAIT! NO! NO! NO! THAT COULD BE CONSTRUED AS ROMANTIC! AAH! [hangs up] [Frank calls another flower employee] Flowers Guy: 1-800-Flow-- Frank Smith: Hey, I need to cancel an order I just made! Flowers Guy: Greta. Can I get a confirmation number? Frank Smith: I DON'T HAVE THAT YOU NAZI! PLEASE! Flowers Guy: Well, I can transfer you to a local delivery. Frank Smith: Yes! Do it! [Flowers Delivery Guy takes his place as his caller] Flowers Delivery Guy: Local Flower Delivery, how may I -- Frank Smith: Hey, listen, I got to cancel an order. Flowers Delivery Guy: Whoa! You're breaking the protocol. Now...how may I help you today? Frank Smith: I need to cancel an order for Frank Smith. Flowers Delivery Guy: Can I get the confirmation number? Frank Smith: [sarcastic] Oh, shoot. I've misplace it. Darn. Flowers Delivery Guy: Sorry. No confirmation, no nothing. Frank Smith: AAH! YOU CAT SHT! HELP ME!! CANCEL IT!! Flowers Delivery Guy:* I've never failed in completing a delivery, and this "I love you more than anything" bouquet will make it to Crystal Peppers, PERIOD! Frank Smith: [kick and bangs the table several times] OH, MY GOD!! GODDAMN IT! GAAH! – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[while Baby Cakes tries out many different pizza toppings] Baby Cakes: A Jude Law 'chovy? – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[every student get a dna testing lab to see which people like anchovies on their pizza or not] Pony: Thank you so much for doing this for me. Professor Cakes: So, uh, yeah. This is totally gonna work. We've gathered together an eclectic variety of anchovies. Go, science! Cravid: And we've assembled a great gene pool of test subjects. Billy: Uh, Pony, what if we can't find an anchovy gene? Pony: Come on. We will. [to Professor Cakes] Right? Professor Cakes: Oh, who f*ing knows? The brain is an impenetrable mystery. Pony: What was that? Professor Cakes: Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. W-We'll find it. – China, Il** Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Steve reads Frank's thank you note for Crystal] Steve Smith: You can't say "Thank you for being my replacement penis". Frank Smith: Well, I thought she'd...well, I mean, you know she's transgender, right? – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Pony tries to secretly protest Mayor out of business] Pony: Mayor? You work here? Don't you need to do...mayoral duties or whatever? Mayor: Mayor finds time for things that matter. Here. Set you up real nice. [Mayor gives Pony a free slice] Pony: You hitting on me? No offense, but you're old, dude. Your scrotum would be all, like, salt-water taffy in those machines. I mean, like, sex with you, I'd be like that machine that, like, stretches and wraps your taffy sack all over me, this way and that. Mayor: You high? You hungry 'cause you high. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Steve Smith: Henry VIII was an a-list celeb, okay? On top of that, he had lots of women in his life. Kim: Well, this Henry sounds pretty much like a womanizing pig-dog to me, right? Debra Bowl: Guys just want to collect sexual experiences. New girl -- Bang. New girl -- Bang. New girl -- Bang. Steve Smith: [clears throat] Well said, Deb, but for me, each woman has something I can fall in love with. For example -- Oprah. Students: [groans] Flip Flop: DAMN, DAWG. Oprah? You get on that? Steve Smith: Oh, big time. Kim: Steve, you're like a sweet type of pervert. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Frank Smith: Oh, sht. There's Crystal. [hides under the table] Steve Smith:* Hey, why are you hiding? You did write her that thank-you e-mail for covering your classes, right? Frank Smith: I did, but yesterday, I saw that it bounced back or something. I'll just resend it. Steve Smith: Unh, nah, no. You waited too long. Now you have to write a hand-written thank you. Frank Smith: [gasps] Steve Smith: No, don't -- Trust me. This is how good people do it, alright? This is how celebs do it. Frank Smith: Okay. I guess that makes sense. Baby Cakes: [brutally flips the table] OH, MY GOD! I WANT A PEPPERONI PIZZA RIGHT NOW! – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[everyone in the bar arguing about the pizza laws] Billy: Well, this sucks. I'm exclusively an anchovy eater. Pony: Hold on, Transfer Billy. Let's get pro-active. Steve Smith: Oh, Pony. Don't get involved. Pony: What? Why? Steve Smith: Look, you're a half-assed activist, alright? – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Mayor: Mayor here at the Church of Pizza. Listen -- Mayor got a new law. From here on, anchovy eating is banned in Mayor's Church of Pizza. Do it at home -- BEHIND CLOSED DOORS. Because in the eyes of God, the only topping that is right and traditional to be eaten on a bed of dough in the church is [echoing] PEPPERONI. Come eat pepperoni pizza at MAYOR'S CHURCH OF PIZZA! AMEN! Baby Cakes: Aw, man. That makes me want to eat a pepperoni pizza so bad. Ugh! Matt Attack: Town's crazy, man. Pizza laws? Pemsy: Actually, if you think about the sanctity of the pepperoni tradition -- Dean: Pemsy, shut your hole. NO PIZZA LAWS! Jetta: Pro-'chovy, all the way. That law sucks. Dr. Falgot: Law makes sense to me. No 'chovy! Jetta: You know what? I don't want to hear what you have to say. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Baby Cakes: Slow edgy poem. One time, a frost giant snuck into the queen's chamber and stole her one million tiny eyes because he wanted to make a new coat for his fish friend, who head her eggs stolen from her body by the queen, who only wanted something to put on her cracker. Baby Cakes: Oh, man, this stuff -- This stuff always make me...come back to where I am. Oh. Wha-- Right. What do I say? [gasps] Oh, I got it! [writes his signature quote to Pony's yearbook picture] "To Pony...all the best. Love, Baby Cakes". – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[after Steve and the gang killed the intelligence crows] Dean: I'll tell you one thing. You guys have...one thing that the crows didn't have. Steve Smith: What's that? Dean: I told the crows they should have put you guys in a cage and shot you with shotguns. But they wouldn't do it. They had mercy. You guys stepped up and proved you have a passion for teaching. Steve Smith: [chuckles nervously] Good -- Good job, everybody. Let's, uh...let's get back to teaching. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Frank gets worried when he sees all the scrabble words that resembles to telling the truth about loving Stacy] Billy: Frank, is something wrong? Frank Smith: Okay, I need to be completely honest with you guys. Billy: Dude, you're our good friend, so shoot. Share. Frank Smith: [inhales, exhales deeply] Billy, I want to slit your throat, and then I want to f* Stacy. Billy: Wait. What? Frank Smith: No, no. It's cool. She wants it. Stacy: Wait -- What?! Frank Smith: [scoffs] Come on. Remember when you signaled to me by touching my forearm? Stacy: Dude, I don't know what you're talking about. Billy: Hold on. [to Stacy] You touched his forearm? What are you doing jacking off his forearm? Stacy: This is absurd! I touched his forearm like I might touch any guy's forearm, like -- Like in the subway. Billy: So, you're jacking off guys' arms in the subway now, huh? I don't know who you are. Stacy: Ugh! Frank Smith: Hold on. We're just trying to line up a cool and easy f* here. Stacy: You know what? You guys suck. [leaves] Frank Smith: So, should we just split her tiles up? Billy: Get the f* out. Frank Smith: This is her house. So you get out. – China, Il** Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Baby Cakes: Kirsten Dunst...I know what you did. And I love you. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Steve and the gang asks Professor Cakes' help to get rid of the crows in college] Professor Cakes: Okay, just -- Why didn't you come to me earlier? Just take all the doorknobs off of the lounge and let them starve in there. [Steve and the gang leaves] Professor Cakes: Has anyone seen my son? – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Steve tries to scare the crows with an owl costume] Steve Smith: Why am I an owl? I should be a scarecrow. Sammy: No. Wikipedia says the crows are much more afraid of owls. Cravid: Go in there and start shaking around and screaming. They'll hate it. Then you can just leave -- [depressed] Like a father. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Crow: [to Pony] Mississippi Burning? Pony: Ugh! – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Frank Smith: Okay, the next ad will go like this. Quote -- "If you want to have an affair, wear jeans and a t-shirt". Ron Ron: Let me ask you something. You really want to f* Stacy more than you want too be friends with Transfer Billy? Frank Smith: Yeah. Ron Ron:** She a thick-ass white btch? Frank Smith:* I guess. Ron Ron: "Guess", my ass. Stop being so vague and just be completely honest. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Baby Cakes: If my entire body was made out of penis skin, I would roll everyone. But then people would probably notice when my skin was getting all smooth, and they would be like, "Hey, man, you get in jail". And then I'd be in jail with a bunch of head-to-toe assholes. And then I would be thinking, like, "Man, I'm like one of them dogs" -- Them dogs with them wrinkles. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago

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