Xavier: Renegade Angel

Xavier: Renegade Angel

Xavier: Renegade Angel is an American C.G. surrealist dark comedy-fantasy television series created by PFFR. Vernon Chatman and John Lee are also the creators of MTV's Wonder Showzen. The show was produced by PFFR, with animation by Cinematico. It premiered at midnight on November 4, 2007 on Adult Swim, and November 1, 2007 on the Adult Swim website. Xavier features a style characterized by a nonlinear, incoherent plot following the humorous musings of an itinerant humanoid pseudo-shaman and spiritual seeker named Xavier. The show is known for its ubiquitous use of ideologically critical black comedy, surrealist and absurdist humor presented through a psychedelic and satirically New Age lens. Xavier: Renegade Angel premiered on November 4, 2007 and ended on April 16, 2009, with a total of 20 episodes.

Year:
2007
13,577 Views

Mexican Gang Leader:
Friday night is Taco Tuesday.

Xavier:
This week, instead of eating tacos, let's just talk...oh.

All:
Oh.

Xavier:
So, who wants to spill it first? What do your heart spirits have to say to your mind-sacs?

Mocho:
I guess I tend to use my switchblade as a defense mechanism.

Mexican Gang Member #5:
You guys are the only family I have -- Maybe because you guys killed my family.

Mexican Gang Member #4:
Before tonight, I could never express myself with words. I always did it like this. ["La Cucaracha" plays]

Mexican Gang Member #5:
[crying]

Mexican Gang leader:
You're right -- Rape is not an excuse. It's a reason, and tonight, everything seems so reasonable.

Mocho:
I'm big now, but I recently dropped 230 pounds. Yeah, I dumped your wife! I guess I told that joke as a way to avoid the real issue. I love your wife. She dumped me.

Mexican Gang Member #4:
How do they expect me to stay out of jail? That's where all my stuff is.

Mocho:
Here's why I never take off my shirt when we go swimming. [shows his belly that drawed himself showing another belly as poop]

Mexican Gang Leader:
So she says, "Oh, that puppy is the cutest thing in the world." And it's like, I'm standing right here, Mom. I'm standing right here.

Mexican Gang Member #4:
Maybe I do have more issues than a magazine stand, but all those magazines are puro fancy. I wanted to be a vato. I just want to groom and train poodles.

Mocho:
I secretly groom and train poodles.

Mexican Gang Leader:
Are you guys messing with me? Whenever you turn your back, I secretly groom and train poodles. Watch. Turn you back. I'm doing it. I'm doing it!

Mexican Gang Member:
I can't see. My back is turned.

Xavier:
Passion -- This is what gangbanging ought to be about.

June:
I'm too overcome to speak about my husband's mysterious death. But Popo has asked to say a few words.

[Popo does sign language]

June:
What's that, Popo? She's saying that this time of great loss illuminates the bonds we share as a community. And for that, we must give praise to the Lord. Now she's being very eloquent, saying some very touching things. She's being moving. Still being moving.

Old Citizen Guy:
It's so moving!

Citizen Trans Guy:
This go-rilla is go-oing places!

June:
Popo is giving thanks for everyone who could make it here. Popo is offering faith in Jesus as an alleviation to the deep fears in you...

[Xavier's brain juice memory ends]

Xavier:
I vow that when I marry her, I'll give her 100 flowers every five minutes. [grunts] Vow locked in.

June:
...society don't acknowledge. It's very touching.

Father:
Oh, it's so touching.

June:
She's tugging deeply ingrained heartstrings now.

Citizen Woman #1:
Praise the Lord!

June:
Popo is urging you to dismiss the power of your rational mind. She's using the fear of death, playing in your insecurities. There's a rock-solid elegance to the arguments.

Old Citizen Guy #2:
So elegant.

June:
Popo is shattering your souls. Shattering souls. Popo is taking obvious metaphors too literally.

June:
Now she's doing sign language. She's moving her hands. She's signing in tongues. She's lifting her voices, such as it were. She's raising our spirits. Now she's touching her feces as they come out of her bottom. Now she's sniffing her finger. Oh, she overexerted herself.

Frankie's Daughter:
Daddy!

Frankie:
Honey, I've been moved by a beast. Come, sit. You're 16 now, and I know you've had sex.

Frankie's Daughter:
Of course. You know that, Daddy.

Frankie:
Well, we're Christians, and I want you to sign a revirgination pledge to me and the big man upstairs.

[Xavier's brain juice memory ends]

Xavier:
[thinking] Who are these people? Where did June go? I vow to see her again. [grunts] Vow locked in!

Frankie:
I got a contract at church.

Frankie's Daughter:
Oh, neat. Let me see.

Frankie:
No need to read every word, honey. It's all standard language. Boilerplate. It just says you vow to be a born-again virgin and never have sex out of wedlock.

Frankie's Daughter:
Sure, daddy.

Frankie:
And initial here and here. Bite down on this. And write your measurements.

Frankie's Daughter:
I'm a virgin again.

Frankie:
Not yet.

Hymen Guy:
[knock on door] Hymen guy.

Frankie:
Oh, good. He's here.

Hymen Guy:
[comes in] Hymen Guy.

Frankie's Daughter:
Who's this?

Frankie:
You wanted to be a virgin again. He's gonna make that dream a reality.

Frankie's Daughter:
But I don't want a new hymen. I want to go out.

Frankie:
You should have read the contract.

Hymen Guy:
Now, you got a bunch of choices. We got the Tropical Beach. That's pina colada-cherry flavored. We got the Growler, the Gobbler, Fangs for the ovaries. We got the Apple Dumpling Gang, signed by Don Knotts himself. The French Tickler for her pleasure and his au bon pain. We got the Nature's Candy, made from recycled elephant hymen and raisins. The Gray Lady. It really delivers. This is the Rice Rocket. You don't want it. It's jap crap. The We Shall Overcome. The Mud Flaps. Turn it inside out. It's a duvet. Moons over my h-ovaries. That's an anal hymen. The Lox Box, for frigid jews. They all come with the free banana, except for the We Shall Overcome.

Frankie:
We want the basic model. Nothing fancy. Standard double-wide.

Frankie's Daughter:
Daddy, this one has an mp3 player. Can I?

Frankie:
I could never say no to a virgin.

June:
The author is lobbing hollow praise at Popo. Popo says she understands the actor has a clip of his upcoming movie.

Christian Actor:
Yes. This is a passion project for me. It's about a good Christian who sacrifices everything. And in this scene -- Well, just take a look.

[they show a clip from the Christian Actor's upcoming movie]

Angel:
Welcome to the afterlife. You will experience an eternity of infinite joy in this realm.

Action Man:
But my sexy wife is still down there, and those filipino gators are about to eat her!

Angel:
I'm sorry. You can't go back.

Action Man:
[pulls up two rifles] I'M NOT TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER! Get me the hell out of of heaven.

[Action Man brutally shoots the angels]

Narrator:
In the name of the father, the son, and the HOLY SHIIII--

[cuts to next scene in to the news where a monkey translate the recent news]

Newsman:
Lifting "Seventh Hellven" part eight to number one at the box office for the ninth straight week, thanks to the popo-ularity of Popo the Gorilla, who some believe is the second or even third coming of the messiah.

Newswoman:
Messiah or not, Popo has literally converted everyone on the planet to christianity. As over 5 billion served.

[Monkey gets tired of sign language and passes out]

Newsreporter:
Poor monkey. Oh, and as you may not know, every human on the earth is right now gathering in a celebration to accept Popo as our universal savior.

[shows many screen states where Japan and Africa are normal, while Canada is snowing, and Japan is dull having a low budget camera]

[both Xaviers see each other in person having a roast battle as they get out of the phone booth]

Xavier 1:
Listen, we don't cotton to freaks around these parts. Scram, weirdo.

Xavier 2:
Oh, yeah? I don't Polycotton to coping tropes, even my own, So why don't you split?

Xavier 1:
Looks like I already did.

Xavier 1:
You're the sad figment of my twisted psyche's tragic dividend. You're the un-me. I'm the real me. You want to be me?

Xavier 2:
Kiddo, I was the real me when you were still in my short pants.

Xavier 1:
Hate to break it to you, but I wore them first.

Xavier 1:
Me bequeathed thee the psychopathological hand-you-down.

Xavier 2:
So you're the one who stained them.

Xavier 1:
Whoever found it browned it.

Xavier 2:
You'd like me to be you, wouldn't me? But it's too late. You snoze, you loze.

Xavier 1:
You sleeped, you weeped.

Xavier 2:
You nap-uh, you get SLAP-uh.

Xavier 1:
You slumber, a cucumber.

Xavier 2:
You catch up on some zeds, you get out of my heads.

Xavier 1:
You slumber, ham-- BURGER! I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT NOTHING ELSE.

Xavier 2:
Listen, this psyche is not big enough for two metaphysical seekers.

Xavier 1:
You couldn't seek you way out of a cardboard bag.

Xavier 2:
Yeah, I know 'cause it would be an egg.

Xavier 1:
OOH! [thinking] This guy might be better than me.

Xavier 2:
You're right. I am better than me.

Xavier 1:
Look, buddy, know when you're defeated. Accept your defecation.

Xavier 2:
No, thanks. I'm full, 'cause I eat pussies like you for breakfast.

Xavier 1:
Look at you. You look so superficial, you probably judge things by their physical appearance.

Xavier 2:
Oh, yeah? Your Mom's so shallow, she probably thinks this quip is about her.

Xavier 1:
You're about as deep as a bowl of soup, and your tongue is about as sharp as a soup spoon.

Xavier 2:
Hey, say what you want about me, but lay off the soup.

Xavier 1:
If you love soup so much, why don't you marry soup.

Xavier 2:
'Cause I'm already married -- To justice.

Xavier 1:
Yeah, only a blind girl would marry you.

Xavier 2:
I know everything you're gonna do--

Xavier 1:
[hush Xavier 2] Say. And I know everything you're gonna--

Xavier 2:
[hush Xavier 1] Don't.

Xavier 1:
Oh, yeah? Well, when God was passing out insight, you thought he said "that" when God was passing out holy prophets, you thought he said "oily faucets." 'cause your soul has diarrhea of the mouth -- Faucet.

Xavier 2:
Are you so dumb, you even answer rhetorical questions?

Xavier 1:
I don't know. Do you?

Xavier 2:
We can play this game all night.

Xavier 1:
First of all, it's daytime, and this is no game.

Xavier 2:
Checkmate.

Xavier 1:
OH! So you admit that you're checking me out and you want to mate.

Xavier 2:
OOH! You got a license to sell hot dogs, chico man?

Xavier 1:
No. They wouldn't give it to me because when I was filling out the application, my penis was sticking out.

Xavier 2:
Oh, yeah? You only got one pen-eye?

Xavier 2:
Let me see it.

Xavier 1:
See with your eyes, not with your mouth.

Xavier 2:
I'll call your bluff. I'll see your penis with your mouth, and I raise you with my hand.

Xavier 1:
Ante up.

Xavier 2:
OH! DAMN IT!

Xavier 1:
What's wrong?

Xavier 2:
I crapped out, but I'm tough. I can suck it up. [grunts]

Xavier 1:
Okay. Count of three, we show what's under the loincloth. Wiener take all.

Xavier 1 & 2:
One, two, THREE.

[Xaviers shows both of their pen-eyes with different colors making a monster face with a rock on the bottom]

Blue Shirt Guy:
I can't take it anymore. Open your mouth.

[Blue Shirt Guy forcefully put pills into Shamus' mouth by becoming good and clearing all of his blackness away]

Xavier:
What are you doing to the boy's mouth?!

Shamus:
Mommy, daddy, I sorry I hurt you. I won't anymore. Can I have more pills?

Pink Shirt Woman:
Yes, have all you want, son.

Xavier:
Pills. You can't swallow your way to happiness. You couldn't even swallow your way out of a bus-station bathroom. What are these pills?

Blue Shirt Guy:
Fiddelin. Don't worry -- They're spiritually based drugs. Look.

[Blue Shirt Guy plays the Fiddelin commercial on TV]

Fiddelin Announcer:
Recent science has discovered that, for thousand of years, tibetan monks used gutteral prayer chants to sooth their yellow souls in the yellow face of their yellow oppressors.

Fiddelin Announcer:
But in our sophisticated world.. [pans to the next scene where a fat guy watching tv eating junk food] Who has time for that noise?

Fiddelin Announcer:
You've got enough on your plate. Let Fiddelin do the spiritual legwork for you. At transcendental medication, we sonically condense the biodharmic vibrations of over 1,000 monk chants into every pill.

Fiddelin Announcer:
Scienspritific audiologists have found that vibration from a monk's throat doesn't radiate in megaheartz but in megahearts.

Jamician Atom:
COME TO JAMAICA!

Fiddelin Announcer:
If not now, when? If not it, what? If not things, stuff? Side effects include wetmouth, plaid blood, frozen day rate, herniated monsterism, taint mishbehaving, urethral scremage, global colostomy face, wrongbody, restless lung syndrome, and sexual diarrhea. Do not wake the sleeping yellow dragon.

Fiddelin Announcer:
Who says you can't find purity in a pill? Tune in to Fiddelin with your soul.

Xavier:
SIR, DON'T JUMP! You have so much to live for.

Construction Window Worker:
Eh, blow it our your rump! I'm trying to work here, freak.

Xavier:
I know things look bleak now. No disguising you have the whiff of stench life about you.

Construction Window Worker:
I do? [sniffs one of his armpits]

Xavier:
I know it is tempting to escape the misery of your daily grind.

Construction Window Worker:
No more pain ever again?

Xavier:
Sure, jumping would be an exhilarating and glorious end -- Sweet, succulent, full release all over the sidewalk.

Construction Window Worker:
He's right. LIVE WITH THIS, REGINAAAAA! [smooches a kiss to Regina by the window before he die]

[the construction worker mistakenly suicide himself]

Xavier:
Why did you suicided? Don't be an indian giver. Life is a gift.

[Xavier's flashback intensifies]

Chief Master Guru:
The gift of life is its presence. But, in injun-giving presence, truly the giver is the receiver of a re-give-ed gift.

[Young Xavier opens up the gift revealing a hand choking him]

Young Xavier:
[strangled] I...love...it.

[Young Xavier flashes before his eyes meeting the same construction worker that died choking Xavier with his tongue and having lips for eyes]

Construction Windows Worker:
Redeem my life.

[Xavier's flashback ends]

Xavier:
I will carry on your life legacy as your redeemer. I shall take up your squeegie and squeege all that you have left unsquoge. [check the worker's pockets] Mister...mister...SQUA? [has a Free Grinder card]

Xavier:
I shall redeem this on your behalf, ensure that your wasted life was not squandered in vain. Your legacy, Mr. Squa, shalt live on in my belly. I can feel it in my GUUUUT.

Don Ho:
[to Pavlov] Sorry I had to hang you upsy-daisy.

Singing Henchman:
Listen, boss, it doesn't sound so tough saying, "upsy-daisy". Sounds like some kind of silly song, like -- [singing] Upsy-daisy, upsa-doo, let me have some candy, and let me love you!

Don Ho:
SHUT UP! SHUT UP! You're a good henchman, disgracio, BUT YOU SHOULD SHUT YOUR TRENCHEON AND STICK TO YOUR HENCHIN'.

Singing Henchman:
Aw, come on, boss, you got the only singing henchman in the business. It's a twofer. [singing] I'm your twofer, got a sweet tooth for candy-andy yummy sweets. Oh, candy, whoo.

Don Ho:
SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

Singing Henchman:
Hey, boss, you're getting kind of riled up. Here, have a hot towel. [singing] Hot towels, hot cocoa, and marshmall-ooh --

[while the Singing Henchman puts the hot towel on the Don Ho's head, he then starts to drop the act and ask Xavier about the plan he mentioned]

Singing Henchman:
[normal voice] You're the backup I asked form right? What are you, CIA? FBI?

Xavier:
I'm investigating for a higher power.

Singing Henchman:
I don't know how much you've been briefed, but I've been on the inside tracking Don Ho undercover 12 years. I'm this close to his big secret. Obviously, I made some bad decisions on my first day, and I've just had to stick with them. I was a hotshot kid just out of the academy, and they didn't give us enough on character development, so I was just free-balling it. I started this singing-henchman thing out of nervousness, and then the candy thing just happened. I see you've made some bad choices, too. You got the fur and the fake snake hand.

[Snake Hand bites Singing Henchman]

Singing Henchman:
Wait. You're not a cop. [goes back to acting] Ooh, candy and goo, lovin' choco-moo, yummy-yum-yum cookie, whoo.

Don Ho:
You still singing?

Singing Henchman:
No, boss, I stopped singing some time ago. [sings] Whoa!

Xavier:
Enchante. I am your mental mentor, your sensei of the senses, here to teach you the ways of life, love, culture. Let's start with early matisse. Do you find the gar mange of his lines to be derivative of the neoclassicists in their pastel insouciance?

Manly Naked Beast:
[grunts]

Xavier:
I know what you mean. You mean, "I don't know what you mean."

Xavier:
I shall teach you to speak. I'm a great english teachulator. You want me to tit you? One grunt for "yes".

Manly Naked Beast:
[grunts] [grunts]

Xavier:
Ooh, you want it double bad, huh? Okay, two grunts will mean "no". Three grunts means "cheese". Can you say cheese?

Manly Naked Beast:
[grunts] [grunts] [grunts]

Xavier:
I've got to prioritize these words right. Let's see -- Four grunts will mean "prioritize".

Manly Naked Beast:
[grunts] [grunts] [grunts] [grunts]

Xavier:
And that's how you say "clock".

Xavier:
Well, I think I taught you every word and stretch there is. Say cheese.

Manly Naked Beast:
[grunts] [grunts] [grunts]

Xavier:
So, what do you want to do now?

Manly Naked Beast:
[grunts] [grunts] [grunts] [grunts] [grunts]

Xavier:
WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE?!

[Manly Naked Beast shoots himself splitting into two people]

Xavier:
I know you crave release from your misery, but you've just doubled your depression.

[one of the two Manly Naked Beasts chainsawed and hang himself to death growing more manly naked beasts into quadruples]

Xavier:
You've just quadrupled your squagmire.

[all of the tiny manly naked beasts suicide themselves into a woodchipper]

Xavier:
Your immortality is a cursed cage. Death is the gift you shan't receive.

[Xavier trains his younger-self on how to be a guardian angel]

Xavier:
Guardianing isn't here. It's up here and here. You're just a dull lump of clay, and I must sculpt and mold and you into my hoMAGE -- The greatest minder known to man.

[zooms out the scene where they're at a golf course]

Golf Boy:
What are you doing on the putt-putt?!

Xavier:
LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

[cuts to the next scene where Kid Xavier is trying to balance on a boat]

Xavier:
Your mind and body must be quick. Keep trying to punch yourself. See how quick I am? [punches himself] Didn't even see me coming.

[cuts to the next scene where Kid Xavier is laying down on a bed full of nails with scorpions on his face]

Xavier:
This journey is devoted towards unteaching you to unlearn all you know. [quickly] Rather, this non-journey isn't revoted distwoards comegoing away, from, to, in, out, over, under formembergetting. [realizes] Whoa! What the hell happened to you?

Hardware Manager:
Hey! Get out of my store!

[Xavier teaches Kid Xavier to zen]

Xavier:
You have to be so zen, you can make weak minds crumble at your potent thoughts.

Kid Xavier:
How would someone do that?

[Xavier suddenly starts to get a seizure and pissed himself]

Xavier:
[struggled] You've got the gift.

[Xavier teaches Kid Xavier work up his muscles]

Xavier:
CONTEMPLATE EXISTENCE! PONDER INFINITY! PONDER HARDER! I'VE SEEN DEEPER REPOSE ON A DEAD DONKEY! I'm going to work you till your body is cut like an ox. Gonna be months of hard, grueling -- I'm getting tired just thinking about it.

Xavier:
Tell you what -- I'll just remember that I put you through the wringer.

[Xavier remembered Kid Xavier becoming strong by becoming a real thing]

Kid Xavier:
It hurts!

Xavier:
Acupuncture.

[Xavier pops Kid Xavier's muscular skin]

Kid Xavier:
What happened?

Xavier:
I stuck it in you, and you became a man.

[Kid Xavier finally becomes a guardian angel]

Xavier:
You've absorbed all of my knowledge, and thus you have earned my soul. [releases his mutated Xavier soul, pluses the squirrel's soul as well] Go on, boy -- Hop in!

Kid Xavier:
You've put your manhood in me. Fromst this henceforth, my vowluation is towardst protectorize mine mommy.

Xavier's Mom:
Who are you talking to?

Kid Xavier:
This visitor -- Right here.

Xavier's Mom:
You see someone? Is this place haunted?! You bring evil spirit, boy! I need a -- I haven't had a drink since the night you were conceived. Go get me some whiskey and some PILLS!

Xavier:
[to Kid Xavier] Say "Yes," then just give her apple juice and sugar pills. Protect her always.

Kid Xavier:
Yes, mama.

Xavier's Mom:
[eat pills and drinks apple juice] Sweet nectar! ARGH! I HATE YOU! I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN! You scare me.

Xavier:
[to Kid Xavier] Don't worry -- She's not really intoxicated. It's all in her mind.

Kid Xavier:
Will this save mommy?

Xavier:
I think it worked out well. I remember time went by.

[Xavier remembers how it worked out a few years later with his idea showing a total pigsty]

Xavier's Mom:
[to Teen Xavier] Lady, get me more of these pills and whiskey, and I'll suck -- YOU'RE ADDICTED! I wish I wasn't addicted.

Xavier:
[to Teen Xavier] Go on-- Break her the good news about your decade of deception, your bout of epocock and bull, your wormhole whopper. Tell her about your period!

Teen Xavier:
Mother, you haven't taken any inebriants at all. I've been feeding you apple juice and sugar pills all these years. Aren't you proud of me, mother?

Xavier's Mom:
So it's all in my head? I don't know what's real! I can't trust anything! I'M LOSING MY MIND!

[cuts to the next scene where Xavier is talking to his younger-self but actually talking to a random table in the bar while being hallucinated the entire time when he met his younger-self in the first place]

Xavier:
Tell her, "Don't worry". It's all in her mind.

Big Papa Dick:
Who are you talking to?

Xavier:
I'm talking to this child here.

Pregnant Stripper #3:
He sees The Phantom Child!

Redneck #1:
The Phantom Child has returned to haunt us!

Random Pregnant Stripper:
GHOSTS!

Vacation Guy:
We don't "mohair" to your kind around here, boy!

Xavier:
I've got to warn you. If you beat me up, one day that pain will come back to me "Sexfold". [while bending his body into Letter T shape]

Vacation Guy:
Not you, freak -- This here terroristic sand negroid! [punches the muslim man] Take crime! taste the hate!

Xavier:
They "queefer" to be called Sandfrican-Americans!

Muslim Man:
I am just visiting Muslim who come to America to learn of your enchanting culture.

Xavier:
[sniffs] Then you'll want to bathe...in our warm kindness. But any decent American is going to smack your sack off for being a dirty arab. If you want to experience the real America, you've got build an artificial world -- A robotic amusement park full of android American programmed to be good to you and let you into their humble lives.

Muslim Man:
This is great idea. Thousands of rich Arabs would pay big money for it if we just had high-tech-enough robots that wouldn't at the most inopportune time break down...

[Muslim Man suddenly got short-circuited]

Secret Scientist:
Damn it, freak! You blew its circuits with your cylindrical logic. These droids can't handle baudrillardian self-awareness.

Xavier:
This is a simulacrock?

Vacation Guy:
We paid $1,000 a day to beat up mechanized arabs, but this is the worst touroristorrism hate-crime dream vacation I think we've ever had!

Secret Scientist:
I can't give you your money back, but what about this.

[Secret Scientist takes the Arab's hat cloth robe and put it on Xavier's head making the family beating him up]

[Xavier goes into therapy]

Therapist:
Look at this ink blot, and tell me what you see. Go with it. Don't hold back. Absorb yourself into it.

[Xavier imagines the Ink Blot]

Xavier:
Get away, you sickening inkling.

Ink Blot:
I don't have to be a evil demon. I am whatever you choose to see me as.

Xavier:
Oh, yeah? What if I want you to be my bike?

[Ink blot turns into a bike]

Xavier:
Oh, whee! What about a pony?

[Ink blot turns into a pony]

Xavier:
Yahoo! A bike for the pony?

[Ink Blot turns into a pony riding a bike]

Xavier:
I want some ice cream. Hey, pony, can I borrow a couple of bucks? No? Broke-ass pony. I want you should be a pony, only this pony has a couple of spare bucks. [Ink Blot Horse gives dollar bucks to Xavier] I'll take that. Now, where's the ice cream store?

Ink Blot:
I can just become ice cream if you want. You needn't complicate this.

Xavier:
I don't need your charity.

Ink Blot:
Here, just take ice cream.

Xavier:
Wait, is this some kind of a trap? Only one yummy way to find out.

[Xavier licks the ice cream of Ink Blot, which then ends Xavier's imagination where Xavier is licking the paper of an ink blot]

Xavier:
Yummy shrimp. BRAIN FREEZE! This notion nosh is gonna go right to my mental hips.

Therapist:
What else is happening there? Go deeper.

[Xavier starts to imagine the same ink blot monster again]

Xavier:
Hey, muchacho, where did you do to my ice cream, chachi?

Ink Blot:
I am your ice cream. But it's really just you.

Xavier:
Make up your mind. First you say I'm scream, then you'm scream. What, we all'm scream? You're not the crispiest meat hat in chican, do you?

Ink Blot:
If you're calling me stupid, you're just calling yourself stupid.

Xavier:
Well, I'm rubber and you're rubber cement. Anything you say sticks and stones, dumbbones.

Ink Blot:
I'm just a projection of your feelings.

Xavier:
yeah, put it all on me. Someone's on in denial.

Ink Blot:
Will you please JUST SHUT UP?!

[as Ink Blot shatters Xavier's imagination, it was then that the Ink Blot goes into therapy because of Xavier's delusions]

Ink Blot:
I don't know what is. He drives up me up the...I think I'm really losing it.

Therapist:
Maybe this will help. What do you see on this card? [shows a ink blot of Xavier winking]

Ink Blot:
[screaming in agony]


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    "Xavier: Renegade Angel Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 25 Dec. 2024. <https://www.quotes.net/movies/xavier:_renegade_angel_quotes_108823>.

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    I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
    A Albert Einstein
    B Joseph Stalin
    C Charles Dickens
    D Oppenheimer